Michelle Heatons Emotional Confession on Addiction Struggles

broke down in tears as she opened up about her and drug addiction in a candid new interview on Tuesday. 

The former Liberty X singer, 46, was emotional as she admitted she 'didn't want to be here anymore' during the awful addiction battle.

Michelle has been sober since 2021 after battling years of addiction, something which she has now revealed came close to ending her life. 

During her years in Liberty X, the star, who also suffered from binge eating, became dependant on alcohol which led to her continuing to binge drink for years later, which some days saw her unable to 'get out of bed without having a drink'. 

In 2012, Michelle, underwent a mastectomy which she said caused her to 'lose her identity' and turn to alcohol and cocaine further. 

Speaking to Paul C Brunson on his We Need to Talk podcast, Michelle opened up about her deep addictions and how she turned suicidal. 

She said: 'Every time I tried to stop I couldn't, every time I tried to stop I was sick. I felt better when I drank alcohol.

'I would feel physically sick and when I drank it settled me and I felt better.'

Breaking down into tears, Michelle continued: 'I remember there were many points where I didn't want to wake up, I just didn't want to be here anymore.

'I couldn't see a way out of it, I couldn't stop. I couldn't ask for help. I knew I was killing myself so I thought that one day I was just going to die.'

Michelle admitted that alcohol made her lose the 'ability to care' for her husband Hugh Hanley and her two children daughter Faith, 13, and son AJ, 11.

'Alcohol stripped me away from all of that, it stripped me of the ability to care', she explained. 

'In that moment I loved the alcohol more [than my family], that's the best way of putting it. I got down on my knees, I was praying to god, I was just crying out for help.'

Discussing her husband Hugh, whom she tied the knot with in 2010, Michelle praised him for supporting her. 

'It was awful for him, he could see that I was killing myself with alcohol and with drugs,' she said.

Michelle explained that she became 'slopy' towards the end of her addiction because in a way she 'wanted to be caught because I couldn't ask for help'.  

Last year, Michelle told the Daily Mail that a night out with Katie Price made her realise it was time to embrace sobriety.

Michelle explained that she had already acknowledged that she had a problem but didn't feel able to confide in anyone.

She explained: 'There were many times when I wanted to stop drinking but I couldn't and then I didn't want to tell anybody I couldn't because I'd already told them I was stopping.

'It was frustrating thinking, "why can't I stop, I can't tell anybody because no one's going to have the same problem." So I was out with a few friends and one was Katie and they weren't drinking.'

Michelle continued: 'It made me think "what the f**k? I've come here to have a good time." But I wasn't having a good time, that's the point, the drink was not giving me any joy.

'And then I just thought, "God, if they can do it, if she can do it, if they could be sober, what did they do?"

'And then as soon as I accepted I needed help, help was always there.'

Katie went sober for a year after a stint at The Priory rehab centre where she was seeking treatment for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Michelle's struggles with alcoholism began during her time in Liberty X, where she revealed there were times the band would be in the bar drinking in the mornings ahead of appearing on TV shows.

She added: 'I never thought I could perform without having a drink because I suffer from impostor syndrome. I thought I needed a drink to squash the nerves.

'So the first few gigs I did after coming out of rehab were so different. I felt this high afterwards I'd never felt before because I'd always squashed it with alcohol.'

Michelle added that rehab not only helped her with her alcoholism but with dealing with how reactive she used to be as well as teaching her to establish boundaries.

'I've allowed myself to be in situations I should never have been in,' she explained.

'I said yes to anything, to staying out all night, to like partying with people I'd just met. I had absolutely zero boundaries.

'That's not healthy, not just on an alcohol side, but with my pride, my self-esteem and my self-worth.