Charlize Therons Mid-Life Sex Crisis Revealed!

Charlize. Please. Sleaze!

Let me explain what the 50-year-old South African star has been up to recently. During filming of new blockbuster, The Odyssey, Theron couldn't help but bathe in the glow of co-star 's bod.

'I made this movie with him… I've seen him without all of that suit on,' she said of Damon during a recent interview to promote the film. 'It's weird. I'm, like, staring at him weirdly. I'm looking at his ass. I shouldn't do that! That's just wrong. He looked amazing, yes.'

The Talented Mr Ripley puny pasty geek is long gone!

We all get crushes on movie stars – as a child, having just seen The Towering Inferno, I agonized for days over who I'd choose to save me from the flames, Paul Newman or Steve McQueen. But the difference here is clear: Theron was only one Winnebago trailer away from Damon for months. 

So, is it a case of watch out Mrs Matt Damon – and other nice married moms – is after your husbands! Is it all starting to look a little Liz Taylor?

Damon, who stars as Odysseus in the new epic, has been married to for over 20 years and has four daughters with her. We saw the couple in the stands watching the World Cup Finals in on Sunday, and they looked closer than ever. Mrs Damon is from Argentina and was undoubtedly rooting for her home team. Or maybe she was screaming from fear that Theron would rock up and plonk herself between them?

No matter how secure a marriage, it's never great when you learn a stunning, single movie star has placed a laser beam of lust on your husband's forehead. And, surely, it couldn't have encouraged Mrs Damon to hear her husband marvel at Theron's timeless beauty in an interview with Elle magazine, saying: 'I don't know why only one of us aged. She won the genetic lottery.'

But, back to Theron, this is not the first time we've heard her oversharing on the topic of carnal inclinations. Last year she revealed on the Call Her Daddy podcast that she'd had sex with a 26-year-old, an experience – which appears to have been a one-night stand – Theron described as 'really f***ing amazing' and part of a process of finding a new 'freedom in my forties.' 

Hopefully, her young fella hadn't bothered to Google Theron in full 'ugly' makeup for her Oscar-winning role as serial killer Aileen Wuornos in the 2003 flick Monster.

I'm happy Theron isn't staying home baking cookies, but come on, 'really f***ing amazing'? 

When I was 42, I had sex with a 26-year-old just hours after meeting him. He had brought flowers along to our date in a restaurant: cheesy and awkward. He didn't have a credit card to pay for dinner, hadn't yet learned to drive and still lived with his mother. He wore a Brazil football shirt and bragged about his collection of sneakers.

Hardly soulmate material. And don't forget: a younger man's gaze can swiftly turn accusatory, if not even cruel, even for a woman as flawless as Theron. 'Try not to break a hip!' was my hookup's refrain as I staggered in heels to my bedroom.

Theron has refused to don middle-aged dresses and cardigans now that she's in her sixth decade, instead letting it all hang out, embracing this summer's ubiquitous knickers and sheer trends, while in Paris for Fashion Week and to promote The Odyssey. She looked super skinny while prancing around the City of Light, prompting social media commentators to write, 'Ozempic face, with a figure that raises alarm bells.'

Or it could just be that working for a famously demanding director was grueling.

I understand how appearing alongside a drop-dead co-star like 29-year-old Zendaya would make most women want to slink away with tail between legs, something an actress, contractually obliged to turn up on red carpets, cannot do. Theron's body, her confidence in how she looks, is simply part of her job: her tool, her currency, exactly like being an athlete.

But in perving so openly about a male co-star, Theron has taken turning the tables on objectification a little too far. It's much like me screaming every time sexy British soccer champ Jude Bellingham, 23, got the ball or took off his shirt during the World Cup; deeply undignified, but a heck of a lot of fun.

Still, there's a jolly good reason we must give Theron (and me!) some slack, especially considering that men have been objectifying women since long before Homer took pen to parchment three millennia ago.

Theron, who's been romantically linked to everyone from Sean Penn to Irish actor Stuart Townsend, recently explained that she's unsure if she'll ever share a home with a partner again, let alone get married, a decision that surely stems from her horrendous childhood.

Her behavior doesn't mask weakness, insecurity: she's had to become as strong as the steel doors designed to keep her father, an alcoholic, from entering the family home back in South Africa. 

When she was 15, papa Theron tried to kill Charlize and her mother, who shot and killed him in self-defense. That means, in my mind, Theron will always see men as objects, not equals, as a potential danger, not savior, and will keep them at an impossibly slender (remember the iconic adverts for Dior? She's a goddess!) arm's length.

Now, at mid-century, Theron has a family of her own, two adopted daughters who, Theron told Drew Barrymore in April, love that she's dating. But that's all she's doing: she's doubtless telling her girls to be safe, earn your own money, never be trapped by a big lug with a neck as thick as his brain.

Theron's outspoken comments about her co-star, her reveling in her own body and success, her dalliance with a toy boy (and if he's penniless, as mine was, of course you hold the power!), doesn't come from a place of desperation, which is what people always think when women are more predator than pathetic princess.

Charlize is flipping the narrative, going it alone, expressing her sexuality and people are uncomfortable with that.

My feeling? Just deal with it.