Louise Thompson has shared the horrific thoughts she struggles with when she has a flashback to her horrific childbirth ordeal, as she reflected on her brave recovery after her traumatic health battle in a new Instagram post.
The former Made In Chelsea star, 34, who nearly died when she welcomed her child with her fiance, posted a reel to celebrate the success of latest book, Lucky.
Louise posted a short clip of recent special moments in her life, such as recovering after her stoma surgery and writing her book while being a mother.
But as she confessed that ‘99.9% of her life is good’ she is still suffering, and shared that just hours earlier she had a ‘horrible somatic flashback’.
And while she appeared happy to celebrate her huge milestone, Louise revealed that sometimes her trauma creeps on her, which causes her to ‘stare blankly into space’.
Louise Thompson has shared the horrific thoughts she struggles with when she has a flashback to her horrific childbirth ordeal, as she reflected on her brave recovery
The former Made In Chelsea star, 34, who nearly died when she gave birth to her son Leo, posted the clip to celebrate the success of latest book, Lucky
Sharing heartfelt snaps of her family, partner Ryan Libbey and their son, Leo, two, Louise penned: ‘I feel like this message is spilling out of me…
‘But I can’t quite believe I made it to this point. It feels surreal.
‘I had a horrible somatic flashback last night, despite all the balloons and the cake and the kindness because trauma honestly doesn’t give a F, it isn’t polite… just like me when I’m in those brain freeze moments, the ones where I stare blankly into space and I can’t respond to your smile or your stupid bloody question because my brain believes that I’m dying in that exact moment… how could I possibly concentrate on anything else?
‘But the good news is that I don’t mind the occasional flashback anymore because the good outweighs the bad. My life is 99% good. In fact, I’m sure if I did the maths, it would be more than 99% good. I haven’t had a moment like that in weeks.
‘This episode only lasted half an hour or so (admittedly, it feels like hours when in it), and of course, dealing with the aftermath when you’re submerged in fear that it will happen again is hard… until I go to bed and then I get the magical gift of the RESET. Gosh, sleep is a savior. So let’s just cap it at 1 hour of torture in total, and 1 hour slotted in between 30 days of feeling good is….well pretty damn good right?’
She later took to Instagram to post an album of celebratory snaps of her and her closest family members after learning that Lucky was number one on Amazon’s best seller chart.
As Louise beamed with pride while holding onto a myriad of balloons, the TV personality wrote: ‘Snippets from yesterday [ad-own book]
‘I can’t believe we made it to No.1 in the Amazon book charts, No.1 on audible and No.1 in Apple’s top audiobooks.
She posted a short clip of recent special moments in her life, such as recovering after her stoma surgery and writing her book while being a mother
But as she confesses that ‘99.9% of her life is good’ she is still suffering. Last night, the star sadly had a ‘horrible somatic flashback’
And while she appeared happy to celebrate her huge milestone, Louise revealed that sometimes her trauma creeps on her, which causes her to ‘stare blankly into space’ (Leo pictured with her new book)
She later took to Instagram to post an album of celebratory snaps of her and her closest family members celebrating Lucky reaching Amazon’s No.1 best seller (pictured: Louise, Sam Thompson, Karen Thompson and Zara McDermott)
‘#lucky feels like a bit of an understatement
‘I honestly have SO much to say but I need to take a bit of a breather from my screen at this point *and I must plonk myself down at my desk to start writing a gazillion thank you letters to the people I love and to those that have helped me*
‘Love, L x’
Her honest and open post comes just days after she revealed she doesn’t feel mentally strong enough to carry a child again after suffering major complications following the birth of her son.
Speaking on Tuesday’s episode of Lorraine, Louise recalled how she ‘watched herself almost bleed to death’ because she wasn’t put to sleep with anaesthetic while being treated during the emergency situation.
The mother of one told how she will never be pregnant again, as she explained the mental and physical reasons why it won’t be possible for her.
She said: ‘I will never be mentally strong enough to carry another child, I have Asherman’s syndrome where my uterus is glued together.
‘I had a year with no periods. I had surgery to fix that and then I had another haemorrhage. Doctors said we do not want risk doing more surgery in that area, we want you to live’.
The fitness influencer endured a rocky pregnancy after she was caught in a house fire just before the arrival of Leo.
She said: ‘I was involved in a house fire just before birth. I felt I was not listened to and there was a lot of inconsistencies in my care and I feel I had to jump through hurdles just to get seen. If it was a planned C-section it could have been avoided. I am 95 per cent back to my old self’.
Louise also touched on her experience with post traumatic dress disorder (PTSD) and how she and Ryan both suffered from different forms of it.
Speaking on Tuesday’s episode of Lorraine, Louise recalled how she ‘watched herself almost bleed to death’ because she wasn’t put to sleep with anaesthetic during her pregnancy
The mother of one told how she will never be pregnant again, as she explained the mental and physical reasons why it won’t be possible for her
Louise also touched on her experience with post traumatic dress disorder (PTSD) and how she and Ryan both suffered from different forms of it
In April, Louise revealed she had a stoma bag fitted after years of suffering from ulcerative colitis following a diagnosis in 2018 (pictured in hospital)
‘I think the horrific thing was that I was not asleep with my partner in the room. I think that genuinely added to PTSD.
‘I was witnessing myself bleed to death. I wish I was put asleep. It was one of the things I questioned in my birth debrief to try and get some answers… that was very difficult.
‘In the early days we had no relationship, we had our own versions of PTSD… He would get flashbacks’
‘He is not in the place to start proper therapy yet. He would check on me all night making sure I was not going to die… He would get angry driving past the hospitals. He took Lou for one appointment at the hospital and I thought that was very brave.’
In April, Louise revealed she had a stoma bag fitted after years of suffering from ulcerative colitis following a diagnosis in 2018.
In her Instagram story, the star is seen emotionally bursting into tears of joy, writing: ‘I actually cried writing and re-reading the caption for that video because I can’t believe how far I’ve bloody come. F*** it’s been a journey.’
Louise referred to an empowering post she shared earlier in the day about a photoshoot for her book cover, explaining it was her first shoot in four years.
‘A big moment for me,’ Louise wrote. ‘As book publication day looms I wanted to share the first photoshoot I managed to do in almost 4 years… what a beautiful way to ease myself back into things.
‘It was such an honor to shoot with the incredible Pal Hansen for the cover of my book and to appear alongside a roster of other SERIOUSLY famous faces. Style is subjective, but his ability to capture an authentic portrait is second to none.’
In a very candid confession, the star opened up about the real state of her mental health, explaining: ‘These images are particularly special to me because they represent a particularly sensitive moment in time.
‘I was still suffering. Still recovering. Just about finding my rhythm with work again. Occasionally having flashbacks and panic attacks. And I’d just started working with a new team.’
‘There was quite a lot of change going on. PLUS I was now a mother. And wearing new battle wounds.
Louise shared the news of having a stoma bag fitted with her Instagram followers in early April, as she bravely admitted it is ‘not something she wanted to hide forever’.
The television personality has previously spoken about her ongoing struggles with the bowel condition ulcerative colitis as well as the autoimmune disease lupus.
Ulcerative colitis is a chronic bowel condition where the colon and rectum become inflamed and small ulcers develop on the colon’s lining, which can bleed. The condition has no cure, but can be effectively managed with time.
Louise shared the news of having a stoma bag fitted with her Instagram followers in early April, as she bravely admitted it is ‘not something she wanted to hide forever’
Earlier this year she spent two weeks in hospital after suffering a ulcerative colitis flare up during a holiday with her fiance and their little boy.
Louise, who almost died during the birth of her son Leo in 2021, shared a video of herself showing the bag, which is attached to her stomach, and wrote: HOW DO I DISCLOSE THIS SORT OF NEWS?
‘It’s not exactly exciting like a big pregnancy or gender reveal announcement! Hey look i’m having a boy… Hey look i’ve got a stoma!
‘So I guess i’ll just stand here. Proud in stature. With my new friend. Le bum bag, that represents life. And hopefully a better one.