The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Jessi Draper, nee Ngatikaura, was brought to the verge of tears as she .'
Draper, 33, acquired fat injections in her face and underwent an upper and lower blepharoplasty, which is the removal of excess skin or fat from the eyelids.
Ever since she went in for the operations in late December or early January, she has been savaged by trolls over the changes in her appearance - 'rightfully so,' she has now said in a video posted to her this Thursday.
She confessed that when she now looks back and watches the previous fourth season of her reality show, she thinks she 'looked really good.'
In her view, the surgical intervention has made her 'f***ing hideous,' to the point the brickbats she gets on social media will only intensify when season five airs.
Draper went under the knife because she was 'blinded' by her 'insecurities,' she said, expressing a wish that she had 'been able to see my inner beauty earlier.'
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The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Jessi Draper was brought to the verge of tears as she denounced a plastic surgery that 'ruined my life'
She noted that she was 'getting so much criticism about my looks, and I wanna say rightfully so, honestly. I want to tell everyone that I am extremely unhappy with my results and I didn't quite understand what I was getting into, to be honest.'
Explaining the sequence of events that led to her present appearance, she shared that she 'went in for a lower bleph and then I asked about an upper bleph, ended up getting that. Did not want fat grafting to be honest.'
Draper is pictured (left) in May 2025 before going under the knife, and (right) on January 29 of this year shortly before she underwent the operation
Her voice cracking with emotion, she continued: 'I'm gonna cry talking about it, 'cause I had such self-confidence issues and looking back, I can totally see how I was blinded by those and I was beautiful.'
'And I wasn't able to say that a few months ago, and I can say that now , and unfortunately I went way too far because of those insecurities and I let things happen that I shouldn't have,' said Draper.
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She vowed that she had gained 'the biggest learning lesson of my whole life' and would 'never touch my face again - outside of Botox,' she added with a chuckle.
Draper reminded fans planning to 'leave a hate comment' that their intended target is 'a real human being and they have feelings and emotions, and they're probably dealing with that self-hate, more hate than you could give them.'
She offered a nuanced view of plastic surgery in general, saying: 'I still do say that if you have insecurities and you wanna get something done, do it. But think about it long and hard and do your research and give it time before you do it.'
The reality star added that 'it's okay to be beautiful in your own skin and reach a level of confidence where you don't feel like you need anything anymore. And I wish I would've realized that before I did my last one.'
Draper went under the knife because she was 'blinded' by her 'insecurities,' she said, expressing a wish that she had 'been able to see my inner beauty earlier'; pictured last April
She admitted she has 'been struggling. I genuinely feel like this last surgery ruined my life, and I know that sounds dramatic but my whole life is my image. I'm on camera, I'm on a TV show, I'm having to do press interviews and now I'm getting ripped apart by everyone. And when you watch season five it's gonna be even worse.
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'I look f***ing hideous all of season five. I do. My face is swollen, my eyes look crazy, I don't look like how I used to and I hate it and I'm very self-conscious, and I'm dreading the next season after this one coming out because of how I look,' she said.
'And it's ruined my career in a sense because I don't feel comfortable doing anything. I don't feel comfortable taking opportunities, but I have to,' Draper noted.
'I'm trying to push past it. I try to just be brave and do press even though I don't feel confident with how I look. I'm filming this season not feeling confident and I'm getting ripped apart and it sucks because it's not what I wanted.'
