Ashley James Opens Up About University Rape Trauma

Ashley James has revealed for the first time that she was raped by a male friend when she was a 21-year-old student at Nottingham University.

The This Morning star, 38, bravely recalled the rape in her new book, Bimbo, explaining it occurred after a night out at a club with pals, and she'd been unconscious.

Writing how the assault had been 'one of the very worst moments of my life', she described 'the shame and silence' she lived with afterwards and voiced her hope it would 'change the conversation' around rape and victim blaming.

Ashley explained she didn't report what happened because her attacker had been a friend rather than 'a stranger in a dark alley', which made it harder for her to accept he was a rapist, and as a result she turned the blame inwards.

In a chapter entitled Silly Girl - to reference to the way in which victims are dismissed and blame - she wrote: 'It’s something I’ve never spoken about and yet I’ve thought about it every day since, increasingly so since having children.

'It was one of the very worst moments of my life. It was hugely traumatic. I’m not telling the story to shock but as a mirror to show how common these experiences are – and also how broken the support system is.'

Ashley James has revealed for the first time that she was raped by a male friend when she was a 21-year-old student at Nottingham University (seen in November)

The This Morning star, 38, bravely recalled the rape in her new book, Bimbo, explaining it occurred after a night out at a club with pals, while she'd been unconscious (seen in 2024)

The former Made In Chelsea star went on: 'I didn’t come forward. Not because I thought the police wouldn’t believe me, or that the courts would fail me, but because the man wasn’t a stranger in a dark alley. He was a friend. 

'And because of that, the only person I blamed was myself. For years. Even after it happened, I was more worried about him not liking me than I was about my own trauma. I was worried he’d tell other people and everyone would think I was a s**g. 

'So I didn’t tell anyone, and I even tried to stay friends with him. Even now I find it hard to think about him as a rapist. Even though that’s what he was, because I wasn’t asking for it. In fact, I was unconscious. 

'I’d worry about ruining his life. Yes, I was drunk. Yes, I was wearing going-out clothes, having come from a club. But I was with friends — people I trusted.'

'We don’t teach girls that, one day, if they get the chance, their male friends might try to rape them…' Ashely continued. 'It doesn’t matter what you are wearing [or] if you had zero drinks or 1,000 drinks.'

Speaking about why she decided to take the step in recounting her ordeal in an interview with The Times this week, Ashley said she'd been inspired by the bravery of Gisèle Pelicot.

In a case that prompted global outrage, in 2023 it was revealed that Gisèle's husband had been repeatedly drugging her and letting dozens of men rape her as she lay unconscious for years, while he filmed it.

Over 50 men were found to have taken part in the abuse, and following a lengthy trial in December 2024, they were all found guilty of rape or sexual assault and received prison sentences ranging from three to 20 years.

Writing how the assault had been 'one of the very worst moments of my life', she described 'the shame and silence' that she lived with afterwards and voiced her hope that it would 'change the conversation' around rape and victim blaming

It was the powerful words of Gisèle Pelicot (seen) - who courageously waived her right to anonymity - declaring that ‘it is not for us to have shame, it is them', that gave Ashley the bravery to talk about her own assault for the first time

It was the powerful words of Gisèle - who courageously waived her right to anonymity - declaring that ‘it is not for us to have shame, it is them', that gave Ashley the bravery to talk about her own assault for the first time.

'I thought really hard about including [the rape] in the book,' she said. 'But because what I write about is how the world shrinks women and strips us of our confidence, I felt like I couldn’t write the book and keep that secret.

'This shouldn’t be my shame. The focus needs to shift… I’d like to think we’ve moved on [as a society], but we haven’t. 

'It’s a culture that is still not giving boys the tools to learn how to navigate rejection or how to really understand what consent is. We still ask questions like, "What was she wearing? Was she drunk?" Most of us have stories.'

The mum-of-two said that she hoped her story would help to change the narrative that rapists are only 'bad apples or strangers in alleyways'.

She insisted focus needed to be on how to prevent men assaulting people, rather than on teaching the victims how to avoid being assaulted.

She told The Mirror: 'As a culture and as a society, we still victim blame. We teach women how not to be raped instead of teaching men how not to rape. Men can stop raping us.

'Because of the shame, taboo and stigma, people still think these [men who rape] are bad apples or strangers in alleyways, and it’s not the case.

The mum-of-two said that she hoped her story would help to change the narrative that rapists are only 'bad apples or strangers in alleyways' (seen last month)

'We need to acknowledge it and tell our daughters to stop modifying their behaviour; stop questioning what people are wearing – we need to change the conversation.'

Ashley said that changes needed to be made to the current system to support sexual assault, pointing to how women often find themselves facing as much shame and blame as their rapists.

'Sexual assault is an area where there’s still a lot of shame and taboo,' she said. 'The system still doesn’t support women. It almost feels like the woman is put on trial more than the man who is accused of rape.'

If you have been affected by sexual assault, contact Rape Crisis on 0808 500 2222 or use the online chat.