CORONATION STREET
Just when we thought Lauren’s murder plot was the most ludicrous fiasco in the history of Weatherfield, along comes Toyah and the dead baby she buried in the park.
Are we really to believe that she would never have mentioned this to Leanne, Peter, Spider or Imran, or even the supervising counsellor she’d surely have had during her own training?
And yet, having kept her mouth shut (not something you can often accuse her of doing), are we really to believe she would open up to hapless Nick?
The situation now comes back to bite her when the police arrive and Kit arrests her for murder, following the discovery of the baby’s body. What? Not Craig? Not DS Swain? How many more police officers are they going to wheel out of the woodwork? And why do none of them ever drink in the Rovers?
It’s a big week for Dee-Dee when she gets to meet Joel’s parents, Anthea and Gus. It’s clear they are less enamoured with their son’s lover, but their disdain backfires when Joel later drops to one knee and asks Dee-Dee to marry him.
Coronation Street’s Leanne (left) and Toyah (right), who is arrested for murder after the discovery of her baby’s body
Hmmm. He’s already shown he’s not to be trusted, having conveniently forgotten to tell Dee-Dee about his wife and child.
And if they’re both such hotshot lawyers, how come they never venture further away from the Bistro on a night out? Even the proposal takes place in the corner shop flat. Whatever happened to Delphines, where Mike and Alma used to dine? Even the Bistro would have sufficed. Heaven knows, it’s easy enough to get a table there.
Despite Nick always running round like a headless chicken, the place never manages more than three covers a week – and even then, they never pay. How is the place making any money?
There’s also romance in the air for Michael and Glenda when, after telling her how kind, funny and smart she is, he pulls her in for a kiss. That’s another storyline I’m not buying. Come on, Glenda. There’s a whole force of coppers ripe for the picking.
EASTENDERS
There was never any doubt that Cindy would try to win back George, and now she’s on a mission. After engineering a fairm-ly dinner and movie night for George and the girls, she dresses to the nines for the occasion.
Will George be tempted, or will he retreat to the boxing ring, his port of call when life throws him a curve ball? And that’s often. He’s been thrown more curve balls than you’ll see in an entire Rugby World Cup.
EastEnders’ Cindy (pictured), played by Michelle Collins, is on a mission to win back George
But is the show now overdoing the whole father/son thing? First there was George, discovering that his adoptive father killed his real dad. Then Billy’s dad arrived and we had more father/son friction. And now Junior, who has major issues over George having abandoned him when he was a kid.
There’s some light relief when Kathy hears Reiss is looking for work and she suggests Phil might need an accountant. Tread carefully, Reiss; where Phil is concerned, ‘accountant’ could be a euphemism for ‘money launderer’.
I’m not sure he needs one, anyway, as he has the bizarre ability to conjure up tens of thousands every time someone’s in financial trouble (which is often). Not bad for a man who does one MOT every three years.
Trouble-maker Cindy’s dilemma
EastEnders’ Cindy returned as if she’d never been away and has already delighted us with her machinations, lustful eye-wandering, kissing and general trouble-making all round. And now will Cindy and George rekindle the romance they enjoyed in Marbella?
Michelle Collins (Cindy) says, ‘Life wasn’t that rosy in Spain. It’s like when any of us reminisce; it’s only about the good things.’
EMMERDALE
Matty rows with Josh… but Samson gets stabbed
Samson gets caught in the middle and ends up being stabbed by the knife Matty is holding
Well, that honeymoon period didn’t last long. Talk about finding yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time (although any moment is the wrong place at the wrong time in this doomed village).
Unhappy about Josh’s flirting with Amy, Matty delivers some home truths, before Samson gets caught in the middle and ends up being stabbed by the knife Matty is holding.
With Samson bleeding badly, innocent Matty is taken aback by Josh’s lies that he attacked them with the knife. Blimey, we’ve only just witnessed the violent end to Ethan; is Samson next in the firing line?
And why, given the heavy corpse count, has no one thought to set up a funeral home in the village? Maybe they rely on the services of Corrie’s George and the Shuttleworth shuttle ’em off service he so brilliantly provides.
The big question of the week is whether Marlon and Rhona are over for good. Stunned that Rhona has made another decision without consulting him, Marlon throws a pan of food on the floor. Best place for all his culinary creations, if you ask me.
