Anna Maxwell Martin Balances Grief, Work, and Parenting

 has reflected on the death of her ex-husband and the father of her two children in 2021, as she opened up on how she navigates work and motherhood while grieving.

The actress, 49, shares daughters Maggie, 16, and Nancy, 14, with filmmaker Roger Michell, who died suddenly of a heart attack in 2021 aged 65 - a year after the couple announced their separation.

Speaking about the loss almost five years later, the Motherland star explained that she put all her energy into working and being there for her daughters.

'Grief is grief, isn’t it?' Anna told The Sunday Times. 'I’ve just got to navigate it, parenting, earning a living, doing life, helping the girls thrive as best I can. That’s the focus.' 

She and Roger, whose film and TV credits , tied the knot in 2010, going on to separate after 10 years of marriage.

But despite their split, the former couple remained close, with Anna saying in 2022: 'We didn't have grudges. I don't operate like that, Roger didn't really operate like that... When Roger died, I lost one of my best friends. I see it as that.'

In the summer of 2024, she starred in political play, The Constituent, at the Old Vic opposite James Corden, and recalled feeling adrift without having Roger there to talk to about it.

'I’d always had Roger there, so that was quite a lot,' the Emmy winner said, but when asked if she imagined what he would tell her, she denied: 'No, because what’s the point? I don’t talk to anyone in my head, I’ve never understood that.  

'Some people talk to the dog, don’t they? Why would I talk to my dog? He’s clearly not going to talk back.'

But despite the huge loss she and her two girls had suffered, Anna said that their family were 'a really good, optimistic little unit', adding: 'I love having two daughters and I love how funny and tenacious they are.'

And while the Code 404 star is in hot demand, following her critically acclaimed role on Until I Kill You and is next set to appear in new Apple TV series, Star City, she still makes sure she gets enough time with her kids.

Though the sci-fi drama was shot in Lithuania, Anna jetted back over to London to see her daughters whenever there was a break in filming.

'It’s not good for the environment,' she conceded. 'Being a mum is my priority and so a lot of choosing parts comes down to how it balances with that side of my life. I’ve just had four months off with them, shopping, cooking, walking the dog.'

Anna previously shared how she feared going broke after Roger's death, while worrying about the implications it would have on the mental wellbeing of their kids.

Speaking about his death on  Women's Hour in October 2024, she explained that her first instinct was to protect Maggie and Nancy, but that she was also struggling with facing a potentially uncertain financial future as a lone parent. 

'My husband died three years ago and things were really difficult on every aspect of our lives,' she recalled.

'One of those was that there's a lot of stuff that comes with grief, and one of them is financial terror. And then there are real practicalities around your children and their mental health, and supporting them, which is your priority.'

She added: 'Looking back, I was probably in a state of shock, and fear, and a heightened state, for a long time actually, until very recently.' 

But Anna said that losing her own father, Ivan Martin, when she was just 24 meant she was better prepared to cope with Roger's death, and also helped her guide her two girls through the same bereavement.

'I've tried this road before, of grief, and sudden traumatic death,' she said. 'I've done it before, and so in a way I could pick myself up and do it again.

'It was horrible to have to see my children walk that road, but I'm pretty gritty, I'm pretty strong, and I think I'm quite deft, I hope, at navigating life. And I thought, "I've just got to keep the motor chugging on."' 

She added: 'When it happened to me [for the first time] and I was 24, I was very lonely. I was very isolated because no-one had been through what I'd been through. I didn't know those people. 

'And then when it happened with Rog, I saw it more as, "We've all got to keep it together for the kids."

'I also think there's something about being a woman in your 40s, and by then, if you're lucky enough, you will have succeeded in having the best friends and best people around you.

'You'll have stopped making mistakes in that area of your life. And I really did, I had exceptional friends, an exceptional support network.'

However, she previously revealed that her grief was compounded by the lack of empathy from others, recalling how acquaintances crossed the road to evade the family and deliberately avoided mentioning Roger's death.

The  star said she felt 'sorry' for those people who couldn't acknowledge pain or death, and declared they had 'cocked up' by not showing any sensitivity.

'We make these broad, sweeping statements about "We’re much better now" but I haven’t found that,' she told The Sunday Times in 2024. 'Schools certainly aren’t any better.

'And then there are those who talk to me as if nothing’s happened. We’ve experienced a whole load of that. 

'The girls - thank God - are very deft at processing it, so they will bring their daddy into conversation, but even members of Roger’s generation, people my age, can’t have [his death] mentioned.'

Anna continued: 'People are very bad at acknowledging pain or death or difficulty. I find it really odd. Is it a cultural thing? I’m really glad I’m not one of those people because when it happens I think — I feel sorry for you. 

'You’ve cocked up. I know you’re scared but it’s about showing care, saying to someone, "How are you? Was that difficult? How are you feeling?"'

She also stressed the value of talking about a lost loved one after they've gone, calling it 'so important. I know - but I still want to hear - that Roger was important to people and an incredibly talented person.'

While she added how vital it had been for her daughters to be able to still watch the huge amount of archive footage of their dad. 

'It’s really important,' she insisted. 'With my dad I forgot very quickly what he sounded like, then after 20 years I found a recording and heard his voice again. It was a shock and really hard. 

'My girls miss [their father] all the time but they won’t have that "Oh my God!" moment — they can see him whenever they want. I go on the internet and listen to Roger often.'