Simon Cowell broke down in tears as he revealed he felt he ‘had nothing to live for’ after his parents died.
The music mogul, 64, spoke in one of his most open and emotional interviews ever on the Diary of a CEO podcast with Steven Bartlett where he told how after his losses he ‘reached the point where nothing mattered’.
He spoke of his incredible relationships with his mum Julie and dad Eric – before being saved when his partner Lauren Silverman told him she was expecting a baby.
They welcomed their son Eric in 2014 – which Simon said ‘changed everything’ after his mental state reached the ‘lowest level possible’.
He said as he broke down: ‘Before him I had reached the point where nothing mattered. It all hit me so hard. Being on TV I felt like a clown because I was dying inside. I put on loads of weight.
Simon Cowell broke down in tears as he revealed he felt he ‘had nothing to live for’ after his parents died
‘If I was going to be hit by a bus the next day – I wasn’t worried about anything like that. The whole time was dark. It was the lowest level. I can relate when people say that being alive doesn’t matter anymore.
I thought ‘what have I got to live for’. I didn’t want to take my own life but I thought ‘if something terrible happens to me it wouldn’t bother me’. I do still suffer with depression sometimes.’
