A week before Caroline Flack took her life, she sent friends a video of herself dancing around her flat, her hair bleached noticeably blonder.
It brought them a modicum of joy and hope. Maybe Caroline was feeling better, they prayed.
Days earlier, she’d been inconsolable at the news that she was to face a criminal trial over a late-night, violent – and jealous – outburst in which she’d hit her boyfriend, Lewis Burton, with a lamp.
Now, in this video, she looked like ‘their’ Carrie again. ‘She seemed like she was getting stronger,’ one pal tells me. ‘She looked happy.’
Only it is apparent now that the video was, perhaps, a sign that Caroline – the much-loved bubbly, unlucky-in-love Love Island presenter – had decided on a course of action to extract herself from the terrifying situation she was in: she was going to take her own life.
And a week on, on February 15, 2020, that’s exactly what she did.
Today marks the fifth anniversary of Caroline’s death, a death which gripped the nation and saw friends and fans alike pour their hearts out at her tragic end. Pictured in 2019
Caroline Flack pictured on Valentine’s Day 2020. It is believed to be the last photograph of the presenter
The decision to charge Caroline with assault of her boyfriend Lewis Burton is one that her mother Christine has vowed to fight to the end. Pictured: Caroline Flack leaves Highbury Corner Magistrates’ Court in December 2019
Today marks the fifth anniversary of Caroline’s death, a death which gripped the nation and saw friends and fans alike pour their hearts out at her tragic end.
Caroline’s loved ones are expected to remember her today at one of the two benches that commemorate her. One is in Norfolk where she was born and bred, the other in Islington, north London, close to the flat where she lived – and where the events of one terrible night in December 2019 took place, and which ultimately led to her life unravelling.
‘The anniversary isn’t a big thing for a lot of Caroline’s friends, her memory pops up all of the time for most of us,’ said one pal. ‘But the benches are where those who loved her go to remember her. Carrie’s death still breaks everyone’s hearts. She is talked about a lot and will never be forgotten.’
Keeping her memory very much alive in another way – while also scouring for answers as to why she died – is her grief stricken-mother, Christine.
She has been working with Curious Films, the production company behind the 2021 documentary Caroline Flack: Her Life & Death, which is currently in the process of finishing a second programme seeking to recreate her final, troubled days.
Yet the project, which will be screened on Disney+ later this year, has created a lot of ill-feeling amongst her friends and colleagues, who feel that they are under attack and have found themselves at the centre of what they see as a ‘blame game’.
The makers of the programme have approached a number of the star’s friends, her management, her PR team and members of the press.
Those agreeing to take part tell me they have found themselves being interrogated by Christine over decisions they made in the lead up to Caroline’s death.
‘It all feels so heartless,’ one friend tells me. ‘People are being approached, asked to take part and then sat in front of Christine while she asks them why they did things they did at the end of her life.
‘The truth is that Caroline’s friends did their very best to support her, to keep her chin up through what was a terrifying time for her.
‘There is a feeling of sadness amongst Carrie’s friends, that perhaps she should be left to rest in peace rather than having a televised inquest on Disney+ which will just upset and harm more people.
‘It’s hard to comprehend why this is happening, it all feels like a blame game. We want to remember Carrie for the fun, joyful and caring woman she was.’
Indeed, one thing everyone agrees on is that Caroline’s death shouldn’t have happened.
Today, heart-wrenching details of just how desperate she was for the case to be dropped, and how fragile her mental health was, can be revealed.
While she was barred from having contact with Lewis, she’d spent Valentine’s Day five years ago desperately trying to at least establish where he was. She was said to have been besotted with the model and former tennis player, 13 years her junior, whom she’d been dating for less than a year.
Initially, she’d been told she would be cautioned over the incident – in which Lewis received superficial injuries after Caroline accused him of cheating on her.
The CPS then withdrew this, however, after the Metropolitan Police said it believed it was in the public interest to charge her with assault.
On Valentine’s Day 2020 she was still reeling from the news that her trial date had been set: it was to be within weeks, on March 4.
Keeping Caroline’s memory very much alive – while also scouring for answers as to why she died – is her grief stricken-mother, Christine
Floral tributes placed outside Caroline Flack’s former home in north London in February 2020
She spent the day hysterically calling friends, trying to locate Lewis – and failing.
Some hours later, she killed herself.
‘The end was desperate for Caroline,’ says a friend. ‘She was terrified of what was to come and she just couldn’t cope with it all.’
What terrified the 40-year-old presenter the most was the thought of bodycam footage, taken by police attending her flat that night, being made public. Caroline had been hysterical and was covered in blood after slashing her wrists. She’d told friends she would rather die than have people see that.
‘It is tragic that she didn’t think there was any way out other than to look how she could kill herself, and then do it,’ a friend said.
‘She also desperately missed Lewis, she needed to see him but wasn’t allowed. Looking back at that, it wasn’t fair. Caroline wasn’t a danger and she couldn’t get her head around it.’
Soon after her death, Lewis would go on to date influencer Lottie Tomlinson, the younger sister of One Direction singer Louis. The couple now have two children and are engaged.
It was indeed a tragic end for Caroline, who had battled with mental health issues as far back as her teenage years. She didn’t, however, let it stop her from carving herself out an illustrious showbusiness career which saw her win Strictly Come Dancing in 2014 and then go on to host Love Island – a role that she truly adored.
At the same time she was addicted to social media, poring over comments left by fans on her Instagram, and often interpreting them the wrong way.
Caroline had an illustrious showbusiness career which saw her win Strictly Come Dancing in 2014 and then go on to host Love Island
A heartbroken Lewis Burton posted this photograph of himself with Caroline Flack after an inquest heard she had hanged herself
She also had a fascination with the media, making friends with a number of showbusiness journalists to whom she would often brief details of her personal life.
When it came to matters of the heart her life wasn’t as successful as her career. There were several men, including Harry Styles, music manager Jack Street and a fling with former England rugby star Danny Cipriani. But when she met Lewis Burton she fell for him instantly and they began dating.
Friends point out to me that her ‘love life was a mess’ and ‘wasn’t especially helpful when it came to her mental health’. It was this final relationship that her family believe was the catalyst for Caroline’s life spiralling into utter devastation, culminating in police attending her flat in Islington, north London, in December 2019, after Lewis called them.
Police arrived to a scene of gory devastation – yet the blood all over the bedroom was hers.
The decision to charge Caroline is one that her mother Christine has vowed to fight to the end. Earlier this year, she revealed that the Independent Office of Police Conduct has urged the Metropolitan Police to reopen its investigation into the case of her beloved late daughter.
The watchdog has recommended that the force’s Directorate of Professional Standards interviews an officer who was present at the time of Caroline’s arrest.
He was said to have been involved in the move to overrule the Crown Prosecution Service’s initial decision to issue her with a caution for the attack.
No doubt the grief of losing her much-loved child is as raw today for Christine as it was five years ago.
Her fury is palpable and she is clearly determined to get to the bottom of it.
As for everyone else, on this saddest of days, they just want to remember the bubbly Carrie in her final video – the one they loved and will never forget.
