Hayden Panettieres Shocking Custody and Singer Secrets

Hayden Panettiere has spent nearly her entire life in the spotlight after rising to fame through projects like Heroes, Nashville and the Scream franchise. 

But behind the success, the actress, 36, has faced struggles that unfolded away from cameras. 

In her new memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning, it details the uncomfortable and disturbing experiences from her early career in Hollywood.

The book, which debuted on May 19, takes a look at her battles with alcoholism, , abusive relationships and the intense pressures of growing up in the entertainment industry..  

Hayden is pulling back the curtain on the private struggles that shaped her life.

Here, the Daily Mail takes a look at some of the biggest revelations the actress has revealed. 

Being put in bed with a 'very famous British singer songwriter' at 18

Hayden has dropped hints toward the identity of a 'very famous British singer songwriter' she was put in bed with at 18.

The haunting experience is detailed in a chapter titled Trust, as outlined by People.

The actress recalls how she was allegedly traveling on a 'super yacht' with numerous other celebrities aboard as she cruised around the South of France.

Hayden writes that she was traveling with a female friend, whom she considered one of her most trusted companions.

According to the publication, the women spent multiple days aboard the yacht, in which they swam in the sea, danced long into the night and rubbed elbows with the ship's other famous passengers.

But she alleges that her trip took a more disturbing course one night, when her trusted friend interrupted her dinner to ask her to come below deck to meet someone.

After stepping into a private cabin, the actress writes that she came face-to-face with a 'famous thirtysomething British singer-songwriter' who was shirtless in his bed, with the sheets covering his lower body.

'"Oh my God," I thought. "Is he naked under there?"' she writes.

She adds that her friend then whispered, 'I want you to get in bed with him,' then left her and the unnamed man alone in his cabin.

Hayden, who also starred in Remember the Titans, writes that she did as she was told at first, but her mind and body soon became disconnected.

'My body no longer felt like my own,' she writes.

According to People, Hayden adds that her experiences as a child actor who was constantly being 'managed' by adults had instilled in her a sense of blind trust in others, even when her instincts suggested that was unwise.

'As soon as the door clicked closed, my survival instinct kicked in,' she continues.

Hayden claims that she told the famous anonymous man, 'Look . . . I don't know what she said to you, but this is not going to happen.'

Then, she ran out of the room and back to her cabin, where she booked a hotel on the mainland for safer accommodations and prepared to disembark.

Hayden, who says the incident made her feel as if she had been betrayed by her friend, describes it as feeling as if she had been 'kicked in the face.'

'She’d confided in me, pampered me and treated me like her best friend – then turned around and treated me like a call girl,' Hayden alleges,

The Daily Mail has reached out to Hayden's representatives for comment but has not yet received a response. 

'Well-respected Oscar winner' exposed himself to her 

Hayden recalled the horrifying moment a 'well-respected Oscar winner' exposed himself to her when she was aged just 19.

The Heroes actress said the 'actor and director' showed his genitals to her while she was at a private party, in a passage from memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning.

She said she was chatting with a group of men 'in their forties and fifties' at the party - which she attended with a friend - when she 'sensed these men's eyes on me and it made me uncomfortable.'

The star said she felt like a 'young commodity ripe for the picking in that moment and decided to leave - when one of the men - described as an 'Oscar winning actor and director' approached her as she was putting on her coat.

Hayden said the unidentified celebrity claimed to have a 'big wad of gum on his pants', writing: 'I looked down and recoiled. This well-respected, award-winning actor's testicles were hanging out from his unzipped fly.'

She fled the party without saying goodbye to her friend.

'Up to that moment, men in Hollywood had always been kind and respectful around me. There may have been a peck on the lips here and an inappropriate comment there, but nothing had crossed a line' she writes.

Hayden said she did not tell her friend about the incident because she believed 'the moment had passed' and assumed 'some older men had just grown up with no manners.'

The Daily Mail has contacted representatives for Hayden for further comment.

'Deeply uncomfortable' dynamic with Connie Britton

When Hayden was first cast as bubblegum country singer Juliette Barnes in 2011 opposite Connie Britton's fading country legend Rayna Jaymes in ABC's Nashville, she was never intended to be the star.

By the time the pilot of the critically-acclaimed musical drama went to air, Hayden's 'billing had gone way up' and she took on a larger role in the series, making her feel uncomfortable about upsetting Britton.

'I went from maybe number five in terms of importance to nipping at Connie's heels. I was deeply uncomfortable with this development,' the two-time Golden Globe nominee wrote in her memoir.

'I was 23 years old, and Connie was in her 40s with three Emmy nominations under her belt. She was also a new mom. This should have been her time to shine, and while it was in many respects, I was terrified of making Connie worry that I - not my character - was trying to compete with her.'

At one point, Hayden and her onscreen rival were directed to saunter toward a mic stand and reach for it at the same time.

'This would insinuate our characters' rivalry,' the actress wrote.

'I always made sure to grab the mic under Connie's hand, showing her I came in peace and with respect.

'I don't know if she noticed, but I did; I was not going to step on the toes of Rayna Jaymes or Connie Britton.'

The Daily Mail has reached out to Connie's reps for comment.

'Uncomfortable' relationship with ex Milo Ventimiglia 

Hayden reflected on her short-lived romance with her Heroes castmate Milo Ventimiglia, which ended in 2009 after just 14 months.

The star was said to have started dating Ventimiglia, now 48, in December 2007 when he was 30 and she was 18.

The pair were cast as Claire Bennet and Peter Petrelli in the NBC superhero drama as far back as early 2006.

'I saw him as my partner and that it was going to hopefully keep going and evolving and lead to marriage,' the actress said in her Us Weekly cover story earlier this month. 

'But it was a point of contention that I was unable to put the "I" in front of "love you" and at the time, I didn't realize or understand why it made me feel so uncomfortable. I could only say "love you" in a casual way. Being older, he was much more aware of what that meant. And that said a lot.'

Abusive relationship with Brian Hickerson

Hayden began dating Brian Hickerson, after reportedly meeting through mutual friends following the breakdown of her relationship with heavyweight boxer Wladimir Klitschko.

But in May 2019, Brian was arrested for Domestic Violence after an altercation at the couple's home.

Things got ugly between the pair after they came home following a night of drinking in Hollywood and got into a blow-up fight, according to insiders who spoke to TMZ.

Police visited the residence around 2am, when they noticed 'redness and marks' on the Nashville actress' body.

After determining there was indeed a fight, authorities took Hickerson into custody.

Brian, an aspiring actor, was booked on felony domestic violence and was out of $50k bond.

Hayden's mother expressed her distress over the situation while speaking to Radar.com after the incident made news.

'I'm in shock,' she said, before mentioning Brian's history of violence.

'I knew he had an incident with his father and he has a tendency to do that [physical violence]. Never had I thought it would be against Hayden or I would have addressed it sooner. I have addressed many things,' the actress' mother continued.

Brian was involved in another domestic dispute with his father David the year before. Hayden was present during the time.

Police reports from the incident said cops were greeted by an apparent 'drunk and frantic' Hayden when they responded to a call for assault and battery at a private residence in South Carolina in October 2018.

The incident intensified Hayden's family and friends' concern for the star, who was reportedly already concerned about the dynamic between her and Hickerson.

Back in November, a source told Us Weekly that the the couple party a lot together and it's not a healthy situation, but none of the people close to her really know what to do. She doesn't listen to anyone.'

'They are deeply concerned,' another source close to Hayden told Radar Online.

Speaking of her parents and pals, the source continued: 'They do not approve. They are hoping that this is something that she is going to evolve from.'

Brian was charged with domestic violence in May of 2019, with Hayden receiving a protective order in the case - as the charges were dropped.

The couple split after a domestic violence incident in February 2020, and five months later, Brian was charged with eight counts of domestic violence and assault.

Brian was in jail for 13 days in connection with the arrest.

After his arrest, Hayden put out a statement saying she hoped she could serve as an example for others in a similar situation.

'I am coming forward with the truth about what happened to me in the hope that my story will empower others in abusive relationships to get the help they need and deserve,' she said at the time.

'I am prepared to do my part to make sure this man never hurts anyone again.'

She later gave further insight into their relationship as she spoke in a joint interview with Good Morning America and People.

Of her past relationship with Brian, the actress told People she was 'trying to live in a place of forgiveness.'

She said her time with her ex marked 'a very dark and complicated time in [her] life,' adding, 'a lot of women go through what I went through, and I want people to know it's OK to ask for help.'

Hayden said she was 'trying to live in a place of understanding' in regards to her history with Brian and the multiple domestic violence incidents he was charged with during their relationship.

'I think [Brian] has done his time and was willing to get help. I think about the things I have done in my life that people forgave me for,' she told People. 'Making amends is a really important thing that you learn in treatment. And it gives you a lot of inner peace.'

Following the interview, the pair were seen in LA, but Brian confirmed that they are 'just friends' and 'absolutely not' together anymore.

When asked about her interview on their relationship, Brian said: 'I thought she did a great job.'

He said he remains supportive of his ex, adding: 'She's great - I'm excited to see the next opportunities for her.'

Brian said he believes Hayden's career will thrive with future projects, adding: 'I think so, I think everybody would like to see it ... she's out there man, I mean, you know, Scream 6.'

She was 'groomed' into childhood stardom

Hayden said that she had been 'groomed' into being a child star as she entered the entertainment industry at an early age.

She reflected on her acting career which started at 11-months-old when she starred in a commercial in 1990 and the pressure that she still feels.

After appearing in commercials when she was baby, the actress was cast as Sarah Roberts in the soap opera One Life To Live.

She portrayed the character from 1994 through 1997.

And beginning in 1996, she started to play the role of Lizzie Spaulding in another soap opera titled Guiding Light.

The actress gained more recognition when she became a main cast member in the series Heroes from 2006-2010.

Two years later, she portrayed the character of Juliette Barnes on the show Nashville.

However, the star also made appearances on the big screen in films such as Bring It On: All Or Nothing (2006), I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009) and Scream VI (2023).

Hayden opened up about when she came to the realization that her being groomed to be a child star was 'abnormal.'

She told The Hollywood Reporter: 'When I started self-harming in the form of substance abuse. My people pleasing had built up and up, it was anger and anxiety and frustration.'

She added: 'My life revolved around other people, and I lived to make other people happy and I was the last one on the list.'

The star then said that the pressure continued to build up until it 'exploded' and she 'started figuring out any way I could get through it.'

'Sometimes they'll say in treatment that, believe it or not, our addictions probably saved us at a certain point.'

Nearly dying during traumatic birth

Hayden detailed her traumatic birth experience and battle with postpartum depression after welcoming daughter Kaya with former fiance Wladimir Klitschko.

Though the Nashville star had a 'wonderful pregnancy', things took a dark turn during her delivery.

'I had a really rough birth to the point where I almost didn't make it through,' she said during an interview with CBS News' Gayle King.

'And then the postpartum depression started,' Panettiere - who signed over custody of Kaya, now 11, to Klitschko, 50, back in 2018 - added.

'There I am with this beautiful, healthy, beautiful baby girl and this very fortunate life, and I could not for the life of me be happy,' she said. 'I was so depressed.'

The Heroes star said that the experience left her disenchanted with the version of motherhood she had dreamt for herself.

'I had all these ideas in my head of what I wanted to do as a mom, as a parent. I think I was also scared because of what my mom did to me that I might do that to my child.'

Hayden also said that she keeps in touch with Kaya, who lives with her father in Ukraine, via FaceTime calls and in-person visits when possible.

'I'm so blessed to have a great relationship with her. I fly over there as much as I can. I'm on FaceTime with her all the time.' 

Giving up custody of her daughter Kaya