Married At First Site UK star Gemma Rose Barnes has opened up about her battle with a secret cocaine addiction before the show.
The hairdresser, 31, who appeared on the Channel 4 last year, revealed she was spending £1k a day on drugs and ended up homeless.
Gemma told The Cabin Recovery podcast: ‘The first stages where I was falling apart was probably my comedown from my addiction and I should never have been on that show.’
‘I should never have been cast by them, certainly not. Psychiatrists could obviously tell that I was a bit of a mess.’
Gemma, who is a mum to Ozzy, 11, and Cash, 4, from a previous relationship, explained: ‘I lost my home in the middle of all of that. I became homeless through my addiction… 12 years we were in that house.
Struggle: Married At First Site UK star Gemma Rose Barnes has opened up about her battle with a secret cocaine addiction before the show
Tough: The hairdresser, 31, who appeared on the Channel 4 last year, revealed she was spending £1k a day on drugs and ended up homeless
‘We went to a homeless place, luckily I got back on my feet financially and I’m able to afford a beautiful home for us again.
‘I can’t believe that I put them through that. I’ll never make that mistake. If I spend all my life making it up to them then I’ll be happy to do that.’
Gemma, who is now in recovery, went on to say: ‘There were days where I was sending a dealer a thousand pounds a day, and it was for other people, and for me.
‘You are so desperate to be high and to forget everything that you’ll just keep spending money on that disgusting, dirty drug. It makes you want it more.
‘You’re doing it because, like, your brain is screaming at you that you need it. My body started to get so poorly that the only time it felt alright was when I was using, so what a world away I am now. But it’s easy to forget those times.
‘Your body aches, and physically you feel sick at the thought of doing it, and you don’t wanna do it, and you desperately want to wash those drugs away, but you can’t because it’s got you.’
It comes after Gemma said she was left feeling suicidal after E4 ‘slut shamed’ her and ignored her concerns about being matched with ‘aggressive’ husband Matt Murray.
The salon owner told MailOnline she suffered ‘multiple panic attacks’, exhaustion, and believes she was ‘coerced’ by producers to stay on the show despite expressing on several occasions that she wanted to go home.
Gemma, who is a mum to Ozzy, 11, and Cash, 4, from a previous relationship, explained: ‘I lost my home in the middle of all of that. I became homeless through my addiction… 12 years we were in that house.’
Gemma revealed that she felt ‘scared’ and ‘vulnerable’ being married to tattooed barber Matt, 32, who she said ‘lied’ about her ‘masturbating in a restaurant’ to cover up for his own ‘toxic behaviour.’
Gemma accuses E4 producers of portraying her as promiscuous after they aired a series of sexual innuendoes and claims from her husband that he felt ‘uncomfortable’ by her remarks, which she says is untrue.
The mum-of-two says the show airing the false storyline that she pleasured herself in a restaurant made her want to ‘die’ and she will be taking her complaint with the broadcaster further.
She explained: ‘I feel that Matt slut shamed me, I feel like the experts did also.
‘He has the same sense of humour as me and made very similar comments on the wedding day, which didn’t make the edit.
‘He asked me ‘do you like it rough? I’m going to choke you in the bedroom.’ It’s been made to look like he was the victim when he just didn’t find me attractive.
‘Matt made that up to deflect what he did in that restaurant, which was getting aggressive, flipping a chair back, and storming away. It obviously did not happen.
‘I defended myself on more than one occasion and said that’s not f***ing true, but it didn’t make the cut because the storyline was too good.
‘I was told it wouldn’t be put into the final edit and I was disgusted when it did. E4 is not allowed to manipulate a storyline like that so I will be taking it further.’
Gemma, who’s from Devon, married Matt at first sight during filming of the series back in April, and says she believes welfare should have ‘removed’ her from the process amid fears for her husband’s actions.
‘I was disgusted’: Gemma says she was left feeling suicidal after E4 ‘slut shamed’ her and ignored her concerns about being matched with ‘aggressive’ husband Matt Murray
Devastated: Gemma’s time on the show was made worse after her marriage to Matt came crashing down once he struck up a romance with co-star Whitney – and the pair started an intimate relationship during filming
She explained that after being called early for filming and having to wait a longer duration of 45 minutes Matt became ‘aggressive’ and left her feeling ‘intimidated’ after he shadowboxed and told a member of a security ‘if I was looking for a fight, I’d take you with me.’
The incident happened before the couple filmed a dinner party scene with co-stars Chanita and Jordan.
She said: ‘There were a few occasions where I expressed that I didn’t feel safe in the experiment, and I don’t feel like that was heard.
‘There was one incident in particular where I explained to Matt that I found his body language aggressive.
‘Before we went to Chanita and Jordan’s dinner party, he was shadowboxing in the reception and his body language was coming off as really heavy and I was getting freaked out.
‘We were asked to film early but they ended up being late, so we were stood around for probably 45 minutes and he was banging the door down and shouting at the production team saying ‘when the f*** are we starting? You got us here early’ and I was saying to him to be professional.
‘He said to the security man ‘you’re a big guy, if I was looking for a fight, I’d take you with me’ it was intimidating. I did find him at times quite scary.
‘I told them I didn’t feel safe, and I should have been removed a few times in that instance. I felt very vulnerable as it was. Welfare was fantastic in the sense that they came to see you multiple times a day, which was great.
‘However, it wasn’t enough considering the toxic environment that we were in and I don’t cope well with that.’
Gemma’s time on the show was made worse after her marriage to Matt came crashing down once he struck up a romance with co-star Whitney – and the pair started an intimate relationship during filming.
Despite finding herself in a dark place and raising concerns over her wellbeing, E4 encouraged Gemma to remain on the show.
‘I felt trapped’: Gemma said she told her mum that she ‘wanted to die’ after watching the final edit along with E4 viewers and discovering words were ‘cut’ to ‘manipulate’ the storyline
The hairdresser, who owns Gem Rose Hair, described filming the series as ‘the worst experience of my life’ and has since struggled with how producers have unfairly portrayed her in the final edit.
Breaking down in tears, Gemma said: ‘I had multiple panic attacks. I feel like I didn’t sleep because I would wake up just as exhausted as I did when I went to bed.
‘It was the worst experience of my life. I felt trapped. We weren’t being held hostage but if you said ‘I have to go now’ – I wouldn’t call it manipulation but there was coercion on their side to convince you to stay.
‘At what stage will someone’s mental health come before making a TV show? I told my mum that I wanted to die. It was horrible. They cut out words and made it look like I was masturbating in a restaurant.
‘My mum told me to carry on being my strong self but I said you would want to die if this was happening to you.’
If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123 or visit: www.samaritans.org
