Dawn French Opens Up on Fathers Suicide Struggles

revealed that she 'blamed herself' for not foreseeing her father's suicide as she detailed the 'anger, confusion and grief' she felt after his passing. 

Appearing on This Morning on Thursday, the comedian and author, 68, spoke to , 51, and , 49, about her new book Enough.

Dawn's dad, Denys Vernon French, tragically  

Live in the studio, Dawn detailed how the main character in her book, Etta, explains to her loved ones that she's 'had enough' - that she feels as if she has had 'a good life' and 'has had enough of everything'. 

Dawn said: 'She's thinking of taking her life by the end of that day, and she gives her kids this one day, it all takes place in 24 hours'. 

Ben pointed out: 'It is something you have experienced, you lost your father. I imagine that experience has massively informed [the book]?' 

Dawn said: 'It definitely has. I need to make it clear, what happened with my dad, who took his own life when I was 19, my dad has terrible depressive interludes in his life...

'Very different to this woman, who is well, she is mentally, and physically well. Which is why it is so shocking to her family...

'But yes, because of what happened to my dad, I guess I have had a lifetime of processing what happened...

'When I was 19 of course, I was furious, angry, confused, full of grief. As I have grown older, tried to understand mental ill health, which I do understand, you forgive. And then also, I have really thought this subject is something we need to talk about...

'Not put all this shame, taboo stuff, back in the day, this was illegal, sinful. I am the living proof you can get through something like this. You need to talk about it to understand it.'

Ben replied: 'I wonder how many times over the years Dawn, you've had the conversation with yourself would have been "What could I have said that might have meant that he didn't do it?"'

Dawn bravely said: 'Absolutely. Blame is everywhere around this subject. What if we had known, why didn't I see? What could we have done? My mum lived with a certain amount of that as well...

'That's why the more we talk about it, that's why everyone's experience is different. Everyone's reason is different. 

'My dad was an incredibly engaged dad. A cheerful man. But he had these black dogs, when they came, he took to his bed, they were deep and dark.  As kids, we didn't even know that. What we had was a great fun, dad for most of the time.' 

Back in 2023, Dawn broke down in tears as she reflected on her loss. 

The actress revealed in a BBC documentary that she had been unaware of her dad's illness as he had kept it secret from her and her brother Gary, telling them he suffered from headaches and had to have lie-downs occasionally.

She said: 'I grew up with a man who was completely jolly and cheerful most of the time and then would have what were referred to as "migraines" in our house, where dad was asleep and the curtains were drawn and you just had to be quiet.  

'But I didn’t know that because then he could come out of that and be perfectly jolly again.'

Speaking about his death, Dawn said it was 'shocking and dreadful' and left her reeling and 'angry'. She recalled: 'A grenade went off inside our family, it was shocking and dreadful, it was the worst thing you could imagine. 

'And I was furious and angry and just dripping with grief about all of it and shock at that age.'

However, Dawn said that as she grew older she learned from her mother the anguish Denys had been suffering and has come to 'forgive'.

Visibly becoming tearful, she said: 'As I grew up, I started to understand the awful, hellish place he was obviously in, the fight he'd put up for so long and you forgive.'

Dawn said that Denys had been a huge source of confidence for her and that he was always building up her self-esteem. She said: 'If you are a little fat girl you could trip into a big crack of self esteem. I think he knew instinctively that I needed armour...

'I remember him stopping me when I was going out the door and he told me I was beautiful and I should value myself. So I have always thought I was worth something.'

Dawn has previously spoken about her father, admitting his death made her question her own mortality.

Appearing on the Happy Place podcast back in 2018, she said: 'Until quite recently, I think I've always thought that I wouldn't make old bones.' 

She added: 'Being 19 and losing your dad made me think, "Oh God maybe we don't live very long".

'So I grasped any opportunity I could, but I was aware that I thought, "I need to get old enough to grow my daughter in to her twenties at least, then she'd manage without me after that".'

However, Dawn said that she soon realised how harmful those thoughts could be.

She said: 'I was thinking like that, which is ridiculous. It's possibly to do with losing my dad so early. You know, thinking life is a bit fragile and it can be a bit temporary. And we've just got to be mindful of that.'

For confidential support, call the Samaritans on 116123 or visit a local Samaritans branch. See www.samaritans.org for details 

This Morning airs weekdays from 10.00am on ITV.