Billie Eilish is looking back at her success.
The 21-year-old crooner told the Best Of Beauty Issue of Allure that she is still grappling with her enormous fame.
‘I’m starting to do better, but I’ve not been doing so great, to be honest. For a while. I have impending-doom feelings most of the day,’ shared the star who had a hit song on the Barbie blockbuster.
‘When I think too much about it, how I can never have privacy again, it’s enough to make you want to do all sorts of crazy things. But you have to let it go.’
One of her issues is control and learning to let go a bit.
Thrice as nice: Billie Eilish is looking back at her success. The 21-year-old crooner told the Best Of Beauty Issue of Allure that she is still grappling with her enormous fame
Up close: ‘I’m starting to do better, but I’ve not been doing so great, to be honest. For a while. I have impending-doom feelings most of the day,’ shared the star who has sung songs for a James Bond movie, and more recently, the Barbie blockbuster
‘There was this moment when I was in Paris, we were driving around, and I was in a bad place. It was not a good time for ol’ Bill. I was not getting better, and didn’t know when I would.
‘And this motorcycle pulled up next to the car, and this guy’s helmet had a sticker on it that said in all caps, ‘Move on.’ I was sitting there like, Oh. Message received.
‘I have a really big problem with control, so I’ve been trying to teach myself that there are things out of your control and you have to move on. I have settled many times with things and people and life. I’ve settled for less than I deserved, and I’m not going to do that anymore.’
As a teen she was more comfortable: ‘When I was 17, I was like, I found it. I found the person I am, forever. This is how I’m going to do it. I found all the ways!’ she told writer Arabelle Sicardi.
‘These are my boundaries. These are the things that make me happy, and this is my recipe for how I’m going to make music and be happy.’
But things changed.
‘Then I grew up a little, and suddenly life was like, These aren’t going to work. You’ve got to change. You’re not that person anymore.’
In red: ‘When I think too much about it, how I can never have privacy again, it’s enough to make you want to do all sorts of crazy things. But you have to let it go,’ she said
Red-y for more: One of her issues is control and learning to let go a bit
On her advice to fellow artists and women: ‘But the thing is, people should know—women should know— you don’t have to be exceptional. You can just be a person, and you should get awards for just being.
‘Sometimes artists don’t have plans, and that’s fine, but I did, and I wasn’t going to waste them.’
On co-writing ‘What Was I Made For?’ with her brother-collaborator Finneas O’Connell for the Barbie soundtrack: ‘We wrote it in a period of time where we couldn’t have been less inspired and less creative. That day we were making stuff, and were like, ‘We’ve lost it. Why are we even doing this?’
‘And then those first chords happened, and ‘I used to float / now I just fall down’ came out and the song wrote itself.
‘I have the whole video of us writing the song, and the first thing we wrote were those lines in the first 10 minutes. We wrote most of the song without thinking about ourselves and our own lives, but thinking about this character we were inspired by.
‘A couple of days went by, and I realized it was about me. It’s everything I feel. And it’s not just me—everyone feels like that, eventually.’
Her moody shoot was by photographer Cho Gi-Seok.
Allure’s inaugural Best of Beauty: The Live Event on October 21 at Chelsea Industrial in NYC, see here. The Best of Beauty special print issue will be available at the Best of Beauty: The Live Event.