Victoria Beckham has reflected with fondness on her Spice Girls years, admitting that she suffered from loneliness when the group disbanded after six years.
Whilst she has previously sought to distance herself from her pop roots – refusing multiple reunion offers over the years – her new Netflix docuseries sees the star admitting that her time in the group ‘was the first time that I ever felt that I belonged.’
‘When people say “The Spice Girls changed my life, The Spice Girls made me accept who I am and what I am and how I look” they did that for me too,’ she declares in the opening scenes of the three part series.
Fans will also see footage of Victoria auditioning for the pop group aged 19, and her ‘eccentric’ choice of song – Mein Herr from Cabaret.
‘I think I’m more eccentric than I ever really realised, either that or I’m bats**t crazy,’ Victoria laughed, revealing that her bandmates Mel B, Mel C, Geri Halliwell and Emma Bunton ‘made me more light-hearted, more fun,’ after she bullied during her school years.
But after six fast-paced years with her bandmates, the pop bubble burst in 2000 with the group’s split.
Victoria Beckham has reflected with fondness on her Spice Girls years, admitting that she suffered from loneliness when the group disbanded after six years
Her new Netflix docuseries sees the star admitting that her time in the girl group ‘is the first time that I ever felt that I belonged’
The sudden split has affected Victoria’s work ethic to this day, she admitted in the Netflix show.
‘I feel an enormous amount of pressure to achieve because I know what it’s like to have something one day and then lose it all the next,’ she explained.
Victoria was a newlywed and mum to young son Brooklyn at the time of the split, and she said it was that transition from girl power advocate to wife and mother that proved to be the most jarring.
‘I went from being up here with The Spice Girls, being on tour, traveling the world, everything was so fast, we were like a tornado then all of a sudden it stopped,’ she admitted.
‘When the Spice Girls finished it was so extreme, one minute I’m spreading the word of girl power and then the next minute, I’m a wife in a flat in Manchester, not really having any friends, living a long way away from my family. And I found that transition really, really difficult.’
David is also seen admitting that he didn’t realise the extent of his wife’s loneliness, particuarly as he was at the peak of his football career at the time.
Whilst her husband advised her to ‘take this rest’ he soon realised ‘she’s not patient enough for that’.
Later in the documentary, Victoria also admitted that a further knock to her confidence during her music career left her feeling that she didn’t want to smile.
Fans will see footage of Victoria auditioning for the pop group aged 19, and her ‘eccentric’ choice of song – Mein Herr from Cabaret
Victoria mused that her bandmates Mel B , Mel C , Geri Halliwell and Emma Bunton ‘made me more lighthearted, more fun.’
‘When the Spice Girls finished it was so extreme, one minute I’m spreading the word of girl power and then the next minute, I’m a wife in a flat in Manchester,’ she explained
She explained that she lost her way when she attempted a solo singing career, releasing Out of Your Mind with Dane Bowers.
Yet she didn’t have much backing from the public, with Victoria recalling: ‘At that point, people were questioning, the media were questioning, what was I doing?
‘I’d be lying if I said I was the best singer or dancer, but when people are mean and you’re hearing things and you’re seeing things and you’re constantly made to feel you’re not good enough, that really hurts. I became so self conscious.’
David also noted a change in his wife’s demeanor at the time, saying that when they met, Victoria was ‘smiley, bubbly and confident’ but that slowly disappeared.
‘People thought I was a miserable cow that never smiled and they’re not wrong!’ Victoria explained, revealing how the constant public attacks weighed on her self esteem.
David Beckham is also seen admitting that he didn’t realise the extent of his wife’s loneliness, particuarly as he was at the peak of his football career at the time
As a result, she began to tense up whenever she knew she’d been spotted.
‘The minute i see a camera, I change,’ she explained. ‘The barrier goes up, my armour goes on and that’s when the miserable cow who doesn’t smile comes out.
‘I’m so conscious of that and I don’t like that, I’d rather not be that person. I’d love to have the confidence to walk out of a restaurant and smile but I just can’t do it.’
Victoria Beckham is streaming on Netflix now.
