Tim Allen has amusingly described meeting Tom Cruise during the Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning premiere and how Scientology played a part in the exchange.
Speaking to the crowd at Laugh Factory, the famed comedy club in Los Angeles, on Thursday night, Allen, 72, revealed that he often yells out while watching movies in a theater, before giving the example of when he attended the last Mission: Impossible premiere.
‘You know, this celebrity s**t, I say hi to these people like I know them. When I go in there, I want the swag. I want the Mission: Impossible hat,’ he started the joke, according to a Daily Mail reporter who attended the show.
But about 30 minutes into the film, he couldn’t help himself and shouted ‘bulls**t’ during a scene that he claimed was too unrealistic.
‘Some BMW seven series goes off of a parking structure, lands – nose first – flips over. Cruise gets out and just does this…,’ he told the crowd as he motioned the action star looking perfectly put together after a car crash.
‘It would’ve killed Batman, so I said “bulls**t”!’ he spilled.
Tim Allen shared his story about meeting Tom Cruise with the audience at Laugh Factory in Los Angeles on January 8
The comedian insisted he humiliated Cruise at a Mission: Impossible premiere after shouting ‘bulls**t’ following a car crash scene that he did not find believable (Cruise is pictured at The Final Reckoning premiere in New York City on May 18, 2025)
He went on to say the ‘whole theater’ went quiet and everyone turned to look at him.
‘”Yeah, it’s kind of funny Mr. [Buzz] Lightyear?”‘ he recalled a theatergoer shouting at him, referring to his popular animated character in Toy Story.
‘I try to apologize. “Yeah, I’m just f**king around,”‘ he said, while noting, ‘Cruise’s ears are bright red.’
After the movie ended, Allen said that Cruise didn’t forget what he had shouted in the theater, and ended up confronting him about it.
Allen continued his story: ‘He walks down the f**king aisle, looks at me. I’m scared to death, even though the dude is literally this tall,’ motioning his 5′ 7″ height.
‘My grandpa always said eat crow while it’s fresh, so I apologized. I said, “hi, bye.”
‘And the guy was a nice guy, you know. I think he put a spell on me though because he’s a Scientologist. His eyes got really red and something hit me.’
Allen ended the story by telling the audience that considers himself a ‘religious guy’ since he was ‘forced to’ follow religion when he was a kid, and still goes to church ‘every Sunday’ with his family. He’s married to wife Jane Hajduk and has two daughters: Elizabeth Allen-Dick, 16, and Katherine, 36, whom he shares with his ex-wife, Laura Deibel.
Allen joked that Cruise, a Scientologist, ‘put a spell on me’ and that his ‘eyes got really red’
Allen appears to be a longtime fan of the Mission: Impossible franchise having attended the Mission: Impossible 2 premiere in Los Angeles in 2000
Cruise has been a longtime Scientologist and was previously an outspoken advocate for the Church of Scientology.
He wasn’t the only celebrity who Allen mocked during his hour-long set.
When speaking about Tom Hanks, Allen recalled how the Forrest Gump star landed a role he was vying for – Detective Scott Turner in 1989’s Turner & Hooch.
After learning he was beat by Hanks, 69, Allen joked to the crowd that he told ‘the guys at Disney’ that he was a ‘no talent motherf**ker’ and added, ‘He has no p***s.’
Allen also threw shade at Ryan Reynolds when he joked about superhero costumes and his distaste for having to wear costumes, especially playing Captain Zoom/Jack in 2006’s Zoom movie.
He said that every time he sees Deadpool, he isn’t sure if Reynolds, 49, is actually in the costume or not.
‘Every time I see Deadpool… Ryan Reynolds isn’t even in this costume right now. He’s back getting his nails done in his trailer,’ he said, suggesting that his stunt double perhaps takes over for certain scenes.
During the set, Allen revealed that it was his Santa Claus outfit that he found to be the worst costume of his career, with the actor having to wear a ’58 pound’ fat suit and be in the makeup chair for six hours. The actor played Santa Claus many times, including in 1994’s The Santa Clause, 2002’s The Santa Clause 2, 2006’s The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, and a Disney+ series in 2022 called The Santa Clauses.
Allen brought up Ryan Reynolds during his stand-up show, suggesting that the Deadpool star gets ‘his nails done in his trailer’ while his stunt double takes over for certain scenes
The Home Development star told the Laugh Factory audience that he wanted to star in 1989’s Turner & Hooch, but rather the leading role went to Tom Hanks – someone he believes is a ‘no talent motherf**ker’ (Hanks and Allen both voice characters in the upcoming Toy Story 5)
Allen shared his annoyance over wearing his Santa Claus outfit in The Santa Clause movies since they weighed ’58 pounds’ and he was in the makeup chair for six hours
Allen remembered how when he first started out as the iconic cheery, white-bearded character, he would smoke cigarettes when cameras were not rolling and how ‘Disney folks’ scolded him since he was exhibiting inappropriate behavior in front of the 125 kids who were on set.
‘The Disney folks came up to me, they’re creepy… they said can you please stop saying “f**k” when you’re in a Santa suit?’ he said during his stand-up set – which is part of his ongoing 2026 tour.
He went on to say that he didn’t realize all the children on set were actually kids and not actors, and revealed that they often assumed he was the real Santa Claus – which he found ironic since he stated he ‘hates kids’.
Allen’s anti-woke sitcom, Shifting Gears, returned for the second season on January 7 after having a midseason hiatus. The ABC show features the comedian starring as Matt Parker, a widowed owner of a classic car restoration shop.
He returns as Buzz Lightyear in the much-anticipated Toy Story 5, which is expected to hit theaters on June 19. The cast coincidentally features the voices of Tom Hanks, Joan Cusack, Greta Lee, Ernie Hudson, Tony Hale and Conan O’Brien.
