The Truth Behind ‘The Look’ Every Over-40 Woman Loves: More Than Botox and Blow Dries – Amanda Goff

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this is the era of women over 40.

There’s something in the air among the rich and famous. Whether you’re at Bills in Bondi or the Botanical in South Yarra, single women over 40 – often unkindly labelled ‘MILFs’ or ‘cougars’ – are looking hotter, happier, fitter and sexier than ever.

Maybe it’s the Pacific breeze. Maybe it’s Australia’s wellness culture that borders on the obsessive. Maybe it’s Botox (almost certainly) or another trendy jab – you know the ones I’m talking about.

But I have a feeling I know the real secret behind ‘The Look’ we keep seeing on local celebrities like Jackie ‘O’ Henderson, Sam Armytage, Shaynna Blaze and others.

Let me explain… 

Fifty-year-old Jackie’s glow-up is so stunning it could eclipse an eastern suburbs sunrise. Out are the floaty skirts and baggy ‘mum T-shirts’ of her married years – in are chic tailored shorts and thigh-skimming dresses that turn heads.

Speaking of which – her thighs are leaner and more toned than ever. Plus, her skin is flawless, and her hair is blown out to perfection.

She carries a relaxed confidence we never saw in her twenties, thirties – or even early forties.

Then there’s 49-year-old Samantha. I won’t pretend to be a fan – we have a history I’ll save for another column – but since her split from equestrian businessman Richard Lavender, Sam has transformed from humble farmer’s wife in plaid shirts and boot-cut jeans to a super-slim, peroxide blonde stunner who looks like she’s wearing a permanent Instagram filter.

A little further along the age spectrum, interior designer and The Block judge Shaynna Blaze, 62, is positively glowing.

With her chic blonde bob, pared-back beauty and quiet sophistication, Shaynna oozes the kind of confidence that only comes with maturity and experience. 

So what is it – the same skincare? The same aesthetician?

I don’t think so. I believe it’s something far deeper – and far more personal – than that.

These women may have smooth, unlined faces – almost certainly Botoxed and possibly filled – but they’re glowing with something no Rejuran treatment can deliver. 

One word: freedom. 

These days, whenever I see a woman in her 40s slim down, chances are she’s shedding more than just weight.

More often than not, she’s also cutting loose the dead weight of a marriage that no longer serves her.

Yes, I’m talking about the ultimate makeover: the post-divorce glow-up.  

This is the era when so many women truly find themselves. They’ve built wealth and success on their own terms, their kids are growing up, they’re surrounded by good friends – and they’ve stopped giving a damn what anyone else thinks.

They’ve found the confidence to walk away from relationships they’ve outgrown – and boom, seemingly overnight, they’re shining in ways that can’t be explained away by green juices, good exfoliants or a reputable injector. 

Maybe they’ve started dating again – perhaps someone a few years younger? (Yes, Jackie, I’m looking at you.)

And it shows – in their bodies, their faces, their energy. It’s the quiet glow of someone who’s been through something bloody hard and come out changed. It’s a new kind of beauty, deeper than skin – and many women recognise it instantly, because most of us know what it means to start over.

Including me – I’ve lived it. When my toxic relationship ended a few years ago, I was shattered. I’d lost my sense of self, my health, my looks – almost my sanity.

When we finally split, I felt reborn. As devastating as it was at the time, it was the best thing to have happened to me emotionally, not to mention aesthetically.

Like many women who’ve endured heartbreak, I came out stronger, happier and healthier than ever. I started taking care of myself again. I slept better at night without all the crying and arguments.

I stopped self-medicating with booze, and prioritised early morning Pilates instead. I began to relax, found a quiet sense of self-satisfaction in going it alone – and I was all the better for it. It took a decade off me.

That’s why I know this post-40 transformation isn’t about vanity, surgery or jabs – though for some women, that may be part of the journey. It’s about reclaiming your identity and power – something many women lose when relationships go south.

While we’re glowing with self-care and newfound confidence, what are the men doing post-break-up? 

Oh, dear. I won’t name names – and I’m certainly not referring to the exes of the celebrities mentioned – but many divorced men tend to age like an avocado left out in a Far North Queensland summer. They hit the wine and the dating apps, google ‘how to find a sugar baby’, and start squeezing into ripped skinny jeans.

Women put real effort into their recovery. Men, by contrast, often don’t. Friends who date post-divorce say it again and again: too many blokes simply fall off a cliff.

This isn’t about bashing divorced men – and of course, it’s not all of them. But let’s be honest: healing and self-work rarely top their priority list. And it shows.

I heard recently that men chase youth, while women create it. I suppose you could also say that while men go through a midlife crisis, women have a midlife awakening.

That’s why ‘The Look’ trending among stars like Sam and Jackie fascinates me. It’s not about a serum, a surgeon, a script or a stylist – it’s something money can’t buy.

The secret to ageing in reverse? Freedom. Peace. You can’t buy it, fake it, inject it or borrow it – and that’s exactly what makes it powerful.

So to Jackie, Sam, Shaynna… keep going. You wear it well.