CORONATION STREET
When news of Toyah’s latest storyline broke on social networking sites on 1 April, everyone thought it was a joke. Surely Corrie wouldn’t be so daft as to inflict this implausible plot on us under another shroud of misery – would they?
Alas, our worst fears are realised when, looking for a missing Freddie at the Red Rec, Toyah goes bananas with a shovel when she sees three amateur sleuths digging up a rose bed.
Their theory is that Roy has buried Lauren’s body there, but what’s Toyah’s excuse? Her secret is out when she reveals to Nick that the location is where she buried the stillborn baby girl she had at 19.
There’s nothing about this that makes dramatic, let alone psychological, sense in terms of the character. Emmerdale had a very similar plotline last year, and with one of that show’s producers taking over Corrie, we can probably expect more of the same depressing stuff.
Where’s the light relief? The Tracy/Tommy storyline ended in little over the time it took Tim to sing, ‘There’s only one Tommy Orp.’ Unfortunately, there is only one, and what we need is a load of others, if only to bring us some more totty.
When Toyah (pictured) searches the park for Freddie, she comes across three sleuths digging up a rose bed who reveal that they saw Freddie digging in the same place and reckon Roy may have buried Lauren’s body there
Rowan is promising, and Leanne clearly thinks so when she opens up to him about all the bad things that have ever happened to her. Blimey. That’s going to be a long session.
Rowan listens intently and tells her he’s by her side every step of the way. That’s a lot of steps, mate. Sure your body’s up to it?
There’s also potential humour in the form of Steve’s disastrous love life, and the ever-reliable George has a new storyline when he decides to write his will. But will he come clean to Glenda when he discovers that Archie’s old will left half the business to her?
It’s probably not worth much now, anyway; there simply aren’t enough corpses. Where are those serial killers when you need them? When the only potential business on the cards is a missing woman and a dead baby, you know you’re in trouble.
EMMERDALE
The multi-layered nature of Tom’s manipulative behaviour is increasingly disturbing, and wonderfully portrayed by James Chase. The progression from passive aggressive to aggressive to downright bullying is fascinating, and now he’s found another angle to unnerve Belle.
Having attacked Vinny, and jealous of his friendship with Belle, he belittles him under the guise of wanting to find him a girlfriend. When Tom alights on Gabby, Belle is made to feel uncomfortable at seeing him enjoy spending time with her.
When Belle (left) spots Tom (right) seemingly bonding with Vinny (centre) she wonders what he is up to
Poor Belle. There’s very little she can do about all this, apart from stare hopelessly into the middle distance, much as you imagine the Horsemen of the Apocalypse might have done, arriving at the stable to find all the horses had bolted.
It’s time to wheel Manpreet out for another storyline when she realises she has a crush on Billy, who fails to notice she is flirting with him when he gives her a physical training session. No surprises there; Billy could probably sit through the whole of Titanic and think it was one long advert for a cruise.
If Manpreet is upset by Charles’s lack of interest, she’s in for a bigger disappointment with Billy. All she’s doing is changing cabins on… well, the Titanic.
Rhona provokes an online storm
With Rhona having been found not guilty of kidnap, how much can she and Marlon trust Gus when he promises them access in the hope of receiving a lighter sentence? Zoe Henry (Rhona) has been surprised at the intensity of viewers’ reactions to the storyline.
‘I dipped my toe into social media – and quickly out again,’ she says. ‘It’s complex. People feel that it’s Gus’s baby. But at the end of the day they’re both parents.’
EASTENDERS
After Lola, Jay’s joy at the chance to be a dad
Lola’s death affected everyone, and Jay is excited at being given the chance to be a dad. But when Nadine visits him to apologise for upsetting Lexi about the pregnancy, she’s shocked to see how serious Jay is about the baby.
How can she tell? You could count on one hand the times Jay has smiled in 17 years; he’s always looked as if he has not only the weight of the world on his shoulders but the entire universe.
Jay, who’s excited at the prospect of being a dad, is pictured with Nadine
Why would anyone be excited about having a kid in Walford when they’re such trouble, anyway? Whitney’s so keen on children, she bought one from Milton Keynes.
I’m sure she could have just hopped on the Tube at Walford East and scooped one up in West Ham, but she’s never been one to take an easy route when a Spaghetti Junction of trouble beckons.
Now, it transpires, Britney has Type 2 Usher syndrome, a condition that causes sight and hearing loss. Doubtless many people will be grateful to the show for raising awareness of it, but please, stop the BritWhit stuff #BritStop. When Whit departs, let’s hope it’s with a big enough case to accommodate the kid.
