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    Entertainment

    Simon Webbe, from the band Blue, bravely opens up about he and his wife Ayshen’s devastating third miscarriage in a powerful reflection on their challenging fertility journey.

    BintanoBy BintanoOctober 10, 2023No Comments6 Mins Read
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    Blue star Simon Webbe and his wife Ayshen has spoken out on their complex journey to have children.

    In a post on pregnancy charity Tommys Instagram page to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week, the couple revealed they have experienced a third miscarriage.

    Simon, 44, and Ayshen, 43, welcomed their daughter Cyan in April 2021 following two devastating miscarriages and a failed round of IVF.

    Writing for Tommys the couple gave an update on their hopes to add to their family, explaining: ‘It’s not been easy but we are still on this journey and trying to stay positive.’

    Speaking about their daughter, Simon said: ‘She’s everything I dreamt of and more. We felt truly blessed and so lucky to have this beautiful healthy baby.’

    Family: Blue star Simon Webbe and his wife Ayshen has spoken out on their complex journey to have children - pictured with their daughter Cyan, two

    Family: Blue star Simon Webbe and his wife Ayshen has spoken out on their complex journey to have children – pictured with their daughter Cyan, two

    He explained though that since Cyan’s birth they’ve also had another miscarriage and an unsuccessful frozen embryo transfer.

    Simon reveals that both he and Ayshen struggled with their mental health after the losses: ‘All I wanted was to get my wife through it, I didn’t really have the time to grieve myself,’ Simon wrote.

    The pop star said he wanted to speak out to help others, in particular other dads and partners going through a loss, telling them: ‘Please don’t go through it alone and in silence.’

    ‘Sometimes it’s about admitting what you cannot do. You can’t fix it but you can be there and listen. Find a way to cope with your own emotions, whether that’s a beer with a mate or a walk.’

    Ayshen has previously praised Simon for his support after a difficult pregnancy and birth with Cyan.  

    The couple’s daughter was delivered early by caesarean section, after doctors discovered she had developed fetal growth restriction. 

    At 37 weeks, doctors discovered the child’s legs had stopped growing and concluded they needed to deliver her early by caesarean section.

    ‘I was so worried and emotional,’ Ayshen told Hello! as she recounted her experience.

    Loss: In a post on charity Tommys Instagram page to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week, the couple revealed they have experienced a third miscarriage

    Loss: In a post on charity Tommys Instagram page to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week, the couple revealed they have experienced a third miscarriage

    Speaking out: Writing for Tommys the couple gave an update on their hopes to add to their family, explaining: 'It's not been easy but we are still on this journey and trying to stay positive"

    Speaking out: Writing for Tommys the couple gave an update on their hopes to add to their family, explaining: ‘It’s not been easy but we are still on this journey and trying to stay positive’

    Daughter: Simon, 45, and Ayshen, 43, welcomed their daughter Cyan in April 2021 following two devastating miscarriages and a failed round of IVF

    Daughter: Simon, 45, and Ayshen, 43, welcomed their daughter Cyan in April 2021 following two devastating miscarriages and a failed round of IVF

    ‘But when I thought, ‘I can’t do this’, Simon, who’d nursed me for months when I was suffering from extreme morning sickness, was a calming influence and support.

    ‘With his reassurance and patience, he showed me that together we could get through anything.’ 

    The couple wed in an intimate ceremony at the Corinthia Hotel London, with Blue members Lee Ryan, Antony Costa and Duncan James serenading guests with a medley of the band’s greatest hits.

    The musician popped the question to Ayshen during a Jamaican getaway on Valentine’s Day in 2017, following a three-year relationship.

    They met at a celebrity football match years ago but Ayshen – who was in band Fe-Nix at the time – had a boyfriend at the time.

    Over ten years, the two continually crossed paths and Simon slowly carried out his mission to convince her that he was The One. 

    Simon is also a father to 26-year-old daughter Alanah from a previous relationship with shop assistant Nicola Jones. 

    If you have been affected by this story, you can seek advice at www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk or www.tommys.org or by calling 01924 200 799 

    What causes a miscarriage?

    It is highly unlikely that you will ever know the actual cause of a one-off miscarriage, but most are due to the following problems:

    • ABNORMAL FETUS

    The most common cause of miscarriages in the first couple of months is a one-off abnormal development in the fetus, often due to chromosome anomalies. ‘It’s not as though the baby is fine one minute and suddenly dies the next,’ says Professor James Walker, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of Leeds. 

    ‘These pregnancies fail from the outset and were never destined to succeed.’ Most miscarriages like this happen by eight weeks, although bleeding may not start until three or four weeks later, which is worth remembering in subsequent pregnancies. ‘If a scan at eight weeks shows a healthy heart beat, you have a 95 per cent chance of a successful pregnancy,’ says Professor Walker.

    • HORMONAL FACTORS

    A hormonal blip could cause a sporadic miscarriage and never be a problem again. However, a small number of women who have long cycles and irregular periods may suffer recurrent miscarriages because the lining of the uterus is too thin, making implantation difficult. 

    Unfortunately, hormone treatment is not terribly successful. 

    ‘There used to be a trend for progesterone treatment, but trials show this really doesn’t work,’ warns Professor Walker. ‘There is some evidence that injections of HCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin, a hormone released in early pregnancy) can help, but it’s not the answer for everyone.’ The treatment must be started as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed, at around four or five weeks.

    • AGE 

    For women over 40, one in four women who become pregnant will miscarry. [One in four women of all ages miscarry, but these figures include women who don’t know that they are pregnant. Of women who do know that they’re pregnant, the figure is one in six. Once you’re over 40, and know that you’re pregnant, the figure rises to one in four]

    • AUTO-IMMUNE BLOOD DISORDERS

    Around 20 per cent of recurrent miscarriers suffer from lupus or a similar auto-immune disorder that causes blood clots to form in the developing placenta. 

    A simple blood test, which may need to be repeated several times, can reveal whether or not this is the problem.’One negative test does not mean that a women is okay,’ warns Mr Roy Farquharson, consultant gynaecologist who runs an early pregnancy unit at the Liverpool Women’s Hospital. 

    Often pregnancy can be a trigger for these disorders, so a test should be done as soon as possible,’ he adds.But it can easily be treated with low dose aspirin or heparin injections, which help to thin the blood and prevent blood clots forming – a recent trial also showed that women do equally well on either. ”We have a 70 per cent live birth rate in women treated for these disorders,’ says Dr Farquharson, ‘which is excellent.’

    • OTHER CAUSES

    While uterine abnormalities, such as fibroids, can cause a miscarriage, many women have no problems carrying a pregnancy to term. An incompetent cervix can also cause miscarriage at around 20 weeks. 

    While this can be treated by a special stitch in the cervix, trials suggest it is not particularly successful, although it may delay labour by a few weeks.Gene and chromosomal abnormalities, which can be detected by blood tests, may also cause recurrent miscarriages in a small number of couples. 

    A procedure known as preimplantation genetic diagnosis can help. After in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), a single cell is taken from the developing embryo and tested for the gene defect. Only healthy embryos are then replaced in the womb.

     It is an expensive and stressful procedure – and pregnancy rates tend to be quite low – but for some this is preferable to repeated miscarriages or a genetically abnormal baby.

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