Rylan Clark has admitted he suffered ‘bizarre stroke-like symptoms’ during his mental breakdown.
The TV presenter, 35, shared the physical toll of his breakdown for the first time in an interview on Jamie Laing’s podcast Great Company.
Rylan claimed he lost his vision and hearing when he was suffering with his mental health – following his divorce from ex-husband Dan Neal in 2021.
After taking four months off work and moving back into his mother’s house to heal and get better, Rylan – who is now strong, fit and healthy – has detailed the severity of his breakdown.
He said: ‘I lost my speech. I lost my vision for a little bit like it was all really just. It was like having a really bad stroke. It was just so bizarre. And yeah, it took me months to go back to work.
Rylan Clark, 35, has admitted he suffered ‘bizarre stroke-like symptoms’ during his mental breakdown
Rylan claimed he lost his vision and hearing when he was suffering with his mental health – following his divorce from ex-husband Dan Neal
‘I think I was off for like four or five months. And I rarely would have like, four hours off, let alone f****** four months.
‘So yeah, it was I mean, I needed to do it. And I need to start again. And I needed to reset myself.
‘But the only regret I’ve got from that is that I wish I’d never stopped and I’ve just dealt with it in a different way. But I didn’t. And then it was out of my control.
‘I see it as like a self destruct button, something in my mind was going to f*** up your seemingly perfect life.
‘F*** it up, press this button and blow it all up. And I went, “Yeah”. And what then unfolded was months of me thinking, “why would I do that? Why would anyone want to blow up their perfect life, if you like.”
‘For months, I was like, “why would I press that f****** button? Why would I pull the trigger?” Like that’s how it felt.
‘And then one day It’s almost like a letter appeared in the post, explaining exactly why I pressed that button and my brain went, “Oh, f***. That’s why I pressed the button.”
‘It was just realisation just understanding things, learning new things and just realising that I’m not f****** mad, basically.
The TV presenter shared the physical toll of his breakdown for the first time in an interview on Jamie Laing ‘s podcast Great Company
After taking four months off work and moving back into his mother’s house to heal and get better, Rylan – who is now strong, fit and healthy – has detailed the severity of his breakdown
He said: ‘I lost my speech. I lost my vision for a little bit like it was all really just. It was like having a really bad stroke. It was just so bizarre. And yeah, it took me months to go back to work’
He added: ‘But the only regret I’ve got from that is that I wish I’d never stopped and I’ve just dealt with it in a different way. But I didn’t. And then it was out of my control. I see it as like a self destruct button, something in my mind was going to f*** up your seemingly perfect life’
‘I thought I was crazy. Well, I was, because the only explanation is going to be. I’ve lost my mind. So when you stop believing something, you become it. So I was like, “well, clearly, I’m mad. Clearly, I’m unwell. Clearly, I’m not right.”
‘I was living with my mum at the time because I didn’t want to be in my own house. I didn’t want to do nothing. I couldn’t be trusted to be perfectly honest. Yeah, it was bad. I just have to be honest.’
If there was one thing Rylan could change about how he dealt with his breakdown, is that he wished to have coped with it without shutting everything and everyone out.
Rylan added: ‘You need to learn to be on your own before you’re fully happy with someone else. And all of this, all of these things you think f*** off.
‘That’s the last thing because you ain’t got a clue you aren’t going through it. From someone who’s been through it. Hate to say bite the bullet it’s true.
‘You do need time, time does help. You do need to slow down, you do need to spend a bit of time on your own to actually love yourself and things that, it’s important that self care is important.
‘It’s not just the moisturiser and the serum you use, you’ve got to look after the inside like diet and all that shit, which I never do, because I’m terrible. But mainly up here, just need to look after yourself.’
Great Company with Jamie Laing is available on all podcast providers.
