Professor Green has admitted fame almost killed him as he opened up on his father’s devasting suicide in a heartbreaking new interview.
The British rapper, 41, opened up about his childhood and personal struggles in a candid chat where he admitted he thought being successful would solve his problems.
Green, whose real name is Stephen Manderson, was born when his mother and father were just teenagers and spent much of his childhood being raised by his nan and faced abandonment issues.
Tragically, his father took his own life when he was just 25 years old.Â
Speaking about fame, Professor Green said:Â ‘I think the largest problem with fame are the preconceived ideas and notions of it that people have before they achieve success because that’s all I ever wanted to be was successful in music.
‘I didn’t want to be famous, the fame being a byproduct and the illusion of it absolving you of all your problems up until that point.’
Professor Green has admitted fame almost killed him as he opened up on his father’s devasting suicide in a heartbreaking new interview
The rapper said he’ll never let his young son Silmane, pictured, experience the same trauma he went through as a result of the heartbreaking loss
He continued to host James Smith on The Problem With… podcast: ‘I had this stupid idea that if I became successful in music, if I became successful as a musician, that I would be absolved of all of the problems I had in my life. It would be solved. Everything.
‘And it wasn’t, because it wouldn’t be, would it? Because there is no one thing that can solve all things and once things have happened, they’ve happened, you can’t change them.
‘All of the things that came with the success I would say at various points has nearly killed me. And my own suffering in some relatively recent years where like I’d never done things in isolation before and I found myself not coping, coping by not coping and doing things that was so scary because I wasn’t coping with everything.
‘I think 40 years of being me nearly killed me, genuinely.’
Professor Green was diagnosed with ADHD and autism as an adult.Â
The musician, who shares son Slimane with ex-partner Karima McAdams, revealed he foolishly mixed alcohol and drugs during a difficult period, which could have cost him his life.
He admitted: ‘I’d never done anything in isolation before and taking myself away from things that were going on at home that were really difficult to deal with that weren’t being dealt with and not being able to tolerate how I felt, not really understand everything that was going on with me at the time and doing those things in isolation could have quite easily led to me dying.
‘In one of my worst moments, I went back to a hotel and took four volume after doing about….I don’t even want to think.
Professor Green opened up about his childhood and personal struggles in a candid chat where he admitted he thought being successful would solve his problems
‘My mate made a really valid point about that cause I was like I was just being stupid. He’s like “did you know you could have died?” and I went “yeah”.
‘That realisation for me at that point was really f***ing tough because my dad took his own life. I said I would never and could never.Â
‘Actually, just out of discomfort and unhappiness and fear and all of these things I was feeling at the time I’d done something that could have put my son through something that I went through and that’s f***ked up.’
He concluded: ‘I think it’s good to talk about this stuff because you can do stuff socially, recreationally for fun and another one of my rules that I broke was for enhancement is fine and for escape is not. And I broke it. I did it to escape how I was feeling and there’s nothing good at the end of that.’
Last week the Read All About It hitmaker emotionally shared the struggles of co-parenting his young son.Â
He discussed missing out on bedtime and birthdays as a result of his split from Karima.
Professor Green explained: ‘Co-parenting really sucks. It sucks for the child, first and foremost he doesn’t get mum and dad in the same bed, he doesn’t get a cuddle from mum and dad at the same time.
‘Question marks over special occasions, can’t be the same birthday twice. Sucks for mum, sucks for dad. It’s the bits of incidental parenting you get to do around, parts of life going into your social contract, your job, whatever social life you might have.
Professor Green and Karima were first linked in July 2019, with the star proposing seven months after they welcomed SlimaneÂ
‘Obviously that comes secondary, but it all requires time and getting home after work, being able to give your kid a kiss on the head while they sleep, knowing that in too fewer hours that you’ll be woken by their hand or their foot.’Â
He continued: ‘Even if you only get to see them before you briefly shoot back out to work, those bits are not there, you can’t echo good night once you’ve said it. Once the phone is put down, goodnight is goodnight. It’s not a good night, it’s not a great night.
‘You don’t get to cuddle, you don’t get to kiss, you don’t get to play fight – it ain’t right.’
Professor Green and Karima were first linked in July 2019, with the star proposing seven months after they welcomed Slimane.
Karima, who is half Moroccan and half Irish, is best known for starring in the spy series Deep State alongside Game Of Thrones actor Joe Dempsie.
Professor Green revealed last month how he and Millie Mackintosh are back in touch almost a decade after their split.
The ex-couple married in 2013 but divorced just three years later.
Professor Green and Karima called off their engagement in 2023 but they have continued to amicably co-parent their son.
If you’ve been affected by this story support is available from the Samaritans by calling 116 123 or emailing jo@samaritans.org.
