Mrs Hinch Faces Fear of Time After Loss

candidly reflected on how losing her father made her develop a 'fear of time'. 

The cleaning influencer, 36, whose real name is Sophie Hinchliffe, said on Instagram on Sunday that she has struggled to set foot in the woodwork workshop at their £1.1million farmhouse in Essex after her father's passing. 

Sophie's father, Alan, died suddenly in his sleep on April 25, 2024, a month after he was hospitalised with respiratory issues. 

Mrs Hinch said her fear of time has made her worry how long 'we all have left' as she opened up on how losing her dad has changed her as a person. 

She wrote: 'I have developed a fear of time. Yes, time. Ever since losing my dad two years ago, I'm convinced my whole nervous system has changed. I'm constantly  thinking about how long we all have left. I look at strangers and wonder how they seem so calm when none of us know what's around the corner.

'Grief has taught me that life is short, but I never knew the fear of time could consume me the way it does. Every morning I wake up hoping it's gone, but it's still there'.

Mrs Hinch, who is a proud mum to three boys, went on to explain how she feels 'filled with guilt' she isn't using the woodwork workshop at their home. 

The pair had lovingly converted one of the outbuildings on her Essex countryside estate to be a workshop for keen craftsman Alan, before his tragic passing. 

She said: 'Losing my dad stripped me of the person I was before. I look back at old photos and barely recognise myself. Even hearing my voice in videos feels like I'm listening to someone else.

'I'm filled with guilt I haven't been able to step foot in our workshop since the day I held his hand for the last time. Everything is exactly as we left it. 

'Our project still sits unfinished, Dad's pen and fleece are where he left them. I don't even want the sawdust on the floor to be disturbed. I don't know how to walk back in the and made him proud. And that's something I carry the guilt every single day.'

Fans were moved by Sophie's words and offered their support in the comments. 

They wrote: 'Aww Soph you are such an inspiration. Your Dad will be so proud of you! Sending love to you and your beautiful family. Keep being amazing'.

'Crying at the last page...you are an incredibly gorgeous person who has done so well and deserve it all , thanks for the lovely post. Keep being you and remember your dad was so very proud of everything you achieved and would have no doubt it would continue.' 

Elsewhere, Sophie spoke about how she regretted having a gastric band fitted when she was 21 as it has given her 'lifelong complications'.

She wrote: 'I'm 5'10' so I'm tall and honestly, I have struggled to accept my height since I was 16. I've been a size 20 and I've been a size 6. I made a rushed decision to have a gastric band fitted when I was 21.

'And whilst it did its job, it wouldn't be something I'd do over again because of the lifelong complications I've been left with. Regardless of my weight, I've never felt comfortable in my own skin. I pick apart my appearance daily. I also have a complicated relationship with food.'

Sophie also opened up about her eldest son, Ronnie, six, who was diagnosed with autism in 2023. 

Autism is a difference in how your brain develops that affects how you see and experience the world. It is often called a type of neurodivergence, states the NHS.  

She wrote: 'My eldest son Ronnie is autistic. People often say I only share the 'happy side' of autism, but the truth is, I don't film or share my son during his struggles or moments of overwhelm. So yes, you'll mostly see the highs of my boys and that's how it will stay.' 

Sophie is also mum to Lennie, five, and Vinnie, 15 months.