Millie Mackintosh speaks out on her ‘toxic’ marriage to Professor Green as she admits she was drinking and ‘medicating with Xanax’ as they tried to ‘fix each other’

Millie Mackintosh has spoken about her ‘toxic’ marriage to Professor Green, admitting her divorce caused her drink problems to spiral. 

The Made In Chelsea star, 35, has rarely spoken about her two year marriage to the musician which ended in divorce in 2016.

She went on to marry her MIC co-star Hugo Taylor, with the couple proud parents of two young daughters, but Millie has admitted that it’s only recently that she has realised how toxic her first marriage was. 

Speaking on Brogan Garrit-Smith’s podcast Getting There, Millie said she went through ‘a really hard time’ when she divorced.

‘I think we [Professor Green] both were in our own struggles, and I think we maybe both thought we could fix each other,’ she reflected of her marriage. ‘But we couldn’t.’

‘And ultimately, we both had our own struggles, and it just magnified it. And it was actually quite toxic.’

Millie added that she knew before her lavish 2013 nuptials at Babington House in Somerset that the relationship ‘wasn’t right but I was too scared to call it off because of the shame of letting everyone down.’

Her drinking and self-medicating intensified during this time period as she explained the public nature of her split meant ‘I had to do it [drink] privately.’

‘I had just got divorced and was with Hugo. I was incredibly anxious, I barely eating, I was medicating with Xanax. I was not well. And just whenever the feelings would come up, I just remember just taking another pill. I was it was a really hard time.’

Millie happily revealed that she and her ex are ‘actually in a nice place now. We both moved on and started families. We’ve sent each other pictures of our kids. It feels like there’s no bad blood.’

Millie and Green finalised their divorce in May 2016, the same week that Millie chose to go public with Hugo, her former Made In Chelsea co-star boyfriend with whom she had reunited.

They got engaged on the Greek island of Mykonos the following year, and tied the knot in Sussex in June 2018. They welcomed daughter Sienna in 2020 and daughter Aurelia the following year.  

Millie appeared on the Mail’s Life Of Bryony podcast this month where she discussed going sober more than two years ago after becoming an ‘angry’ drunk.

She said: ‘I just remember a night where you would go over to a mum’s house, there would maybe be like eight of you there, and it would be an episode of like Desperate Housewives Of Chiswick where I’d suddenly be in a catfight with some woman I had just met.

‘And then trying to get home and can’t get the keys in the lock, waking Hugo [Taylor] up and the baby and you’re just like a complete mess.’

Millie also described the downward spiral effect that alcohol had on her relationship with husband Hugo.

The mother-of-two, who wed Hugo in 2018, said: ‘For me I’d actually started to get quite angry and nasty. 

‘But it wasn’t, like if I was on a night out that I’d just be in an immense rage with a stranger, it would be at the end of the night and directed at him.’

Millie said she would also be in constant fear of being caught drunk on camera after she shot to fame on Made On Chelsea in 2011.

She said: ‘The fear of being exposed was constant. I was terrified someone would catch me on camera at my worst.

‘I was living in constant fear that there was going to be pictures of me wasted, [I was] always waiting for a call from my agent to be like ‘Millie, what the f*** is this?’

‘You know with camera phones, it happened to me a couple of times. So then every time I was out and I was drinking in public, I was then terrified the next morning that someone had posted evidence of it somewhere.’

She added: ‘For me, it feels impossible to do all these things and go to these events and parties and do it alcohol free but it feels so scary but on the other side of that fear is the most beautiful life and don’t wait to do it.

‘It’s the ultimate self-love choice to put yourself first.’

Millie decided to go and see a sober coach, who helped her and has now steered clear of booze for more than two years.

Millie took to Instagram in August to celebrate two years sober.

She said: ‘Today marks a big milestone for me – two years since I discovered alcohol-free life.  

‘It’s hard to put into words just how much this journey has transformed my life, but I want to share my experience and reflect on the incredible changes that have come with it.

Ever feel like life is a bit…too much? Bestselling author and journalist Bryony Gordon is here to ditch the shame and dive headfirst into life’s messier bits. Search for The Life of Bryony wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes released every Monday and Friday.

If you need help, contact Alcohol Anonymous: 0800 917 7650 / help@aamail.org