Michelle Elman Questions Longevity Amid Health Struggles

This Morning star confessed 'I'm not sure I'll make it out of this' and said 'living a long life is overrated' in a heartbreaking health update on Monday.

The TV life coach revealed last week that she had been rushed to hospital for emergency surgery amid her battle with Hydrocephalus. 

Michelle was born with the condition which is an excess of cerebrospinal fluid on the brain. Doctors later discovered that she was also born with a brain tumour.

Last week she shared she had undergone her 19th operation that week, and on Monday Michelle took to Instagram as she said that after five months of surgeries she is unsure how much more she can take. 

She began: 'Maybe living the longest isn't the goal. Excuse my morbid mindset but it's been five months of this [surgeries] and I think if I've learnt anything it's that living a long life is overrated.

'There have been multiple moments where I've been near death or emergency surgeries and the last ting I said to my best friend, my dad, my sister whoever's been out here before I've gone into surgery is I don't want to live if I can't do the things I love.'

Michelle added: 'I want my brain and my body to work and if I'm confined to a hospital bed, I don't want it and if this is all the time I have left then I am happy with that.

'Frankly I've had more time than I ever thought I would get because I thought I wouldn't be here past the age of 21 and the longer this goes on, crossing the five month mark now, I'm not sure I'll make it out of this.'

Reflecting on what life means to her she continued: 'But what I do know, especially as a plus sized woman who's lived in a bigger body for the majority of my life and has had comment sections full of the fact that I am going to die young even though my health problems started long before I was plus sized, before the age of one, is that living a long life is not the goal.

'There are many people who live a long live hating on others, being judgmental, being cruel, being mean. 

'There are people who waste their lives sitting at home saying they are going to start after they have lost 10 pounds or after they get a boyfriend. 

'So 90 years on this Earth doesn't mean you get the most amount of life if you have spent most of that life just taking it for granted and that's one thing I have never done. I have not taken one second for granted.'

Michelle has previously revealed that she experienced what it felt like to die after she flat-lined following brain surgery when she was 11. 

Reflecting on the moment she continued: 'And maybe it's because I had the fortunate moment at 11 years old of flatlining, floating above my body and ever since that moment I've believed that death is peaceful. 

'Don't get me wrong the moments before dying are incredibly painful but just as you float out of your body, that peacefulness, that calm it's the literal embodiment of the feeling of relief.' 

'I think being aware of my mortality my whole life means that over the last five months I have come to terms with my mortality. 

'So if this is it for me, I have lived a good life and it's been an honour to be surrounded by so much love. 

'And I do hope I make it out of this, I'm going to give it all I've got but this idea of fighting to the very end I can't imagine anything worse. 

'And sometimes your fight being gone is not a bad thing, it is just replaced by peacefulness, calm and acceptance.'

Michelle opened up about needing surgery last November, as she revealed she had a new cyst on her brain and a magnet that needs replacing.

Michelle was born Hydrocephalus, an excess of cerebrospinal fluid, and doctors later discovered that she was also born with a brain tumour. The magnet helps control the flow of the fluid. 

The daytime TV star took to Instagram to explain she was back in hospital after having 'complex' surgery, sharing images of her with a heavily bandaged head.

Lying in bed at hospital, Michelle revealed how she had undergone the 'high risk' operation to fix a tube that had been put inside her skull to control fluid. 

And last week she revealed she had been rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. 

Sharing a snap from her hospital bed, she wrote: 'Ended up needing emergency surgery.

'So much for being a fresh start. Had surgery on the first day of the year and Chinese New Year.'

In a follow-up post, Michelle revealed she had been left with two new scars on her neck and collarbone, joking about her immediate concern when she woke up.

'Got two new scars on my neck and collarbone — the fact I woke up and was like 'you didn't destroy my tattoos?' Priorities.'

She later shared a sweet photo of a beaded bracelet made by her nephew, which read: 'Get better.'

Alongside the touching snap, Michelle reflected on her long medical journey, revealing she has now undergone a total of 19 surgeries.

'I think 19 surgeries is enough for a lifetime,' she added.

It is currently unknown what kind of surgery Michelle underwent.

It comes after the This Morning contributor revealed she had undergone a major surgery after a tube in her brain broke - leaving her 'skull filling up with water'. 

The TV life coach took to social media to open up on the 'complex' medical issue.