Lola Young: Heartbroken Over Double Life, Goes Back To Women

Lola Young has revealed the devastating moment she learned an 'older man' she was dating for months was leading a double life as a married father.

The singer, 25, declared that she's 'back to women' after making the heartbreaking discovery when she overheard the man speaking to his wife on the phone.

Lola confessed she was dating the man for 'four months' and had been 'falling in love' with him before she discovered the truth.

She shared the tale during a segment of Spanish pop star Rosalia's concert at London's O2 Arena on Tuesday, and said she and the man had just slept together when she heard his conversation through his phone, which was still connected to the Bluetooth speaker.

Lola said: 'I was seeing someone for about four months, it was getting pretty serious.

'I have to confess I thought I was falling in love. He was a bit older, like an older human being. Men seem to mature a lot less quickly.

'We were seeing each other for four months and we got in bed and we do the deed, it was great.

'His phone rings just as he's about to finish and he jumps up and he's like, ''I'll be back in two minutes''.

'During the intercourse, the music was still playing on the Bluetooth speaker.

'He goes downstairs so he's on the phone and his wife is asking him to bring back nappies for his kids. I hear it all on the Bluetooth speaker.

'I didn't do anything wrong.'

'I lost the plot a bit. I was like, I can't do this, I'm back to women.'

Lola was invited out by Rosalia as a special guest, and she was taken into an on-stage confessional where she spoke about her experience, but didn't reveal when it took place or who the man is.

The Messy hitmaker, who was spotted on the dating app Raya earlier this year, has never labelled her sexuality, but replied to a fan on TikTok last year saying: 'i like p***y as well u kno.'

Lola recently took a break from the limelight after collapsing on stage back in September, and she revealed in March that she has been in 'drugs recovery.' 

In an interview in March Lola candidly opened up about her 'ongoing' sobriety journey and revealed she is 'doing a h*** of a lot better' since getting treatment. 

Speaking to The Sunday Times, she said: 'I think I would rather for the sake of my privacy not say too much. But what I would say is that recovery is an ongoing process. I'm not the finished article, but I'm doing a hell of a lot better.'

When asked to clarify, she added: 'I mean drugs recovery, yes. When you're in recovery … that doesn't necessarily need to mean drugs – but me specifically, yes.' 

The singer later revealed she checked into a 'holistic facility' that focuses on addiction and mental health, and she is now attending AA.

Lola also shared that she endured similar demons while recording her album I'm Only F**king Myself back in 2024.

She said: 'There were a lot of things going on for me personally — I was going through a lot of mental health issues, a lot of battling with addiction.'

The star sang about her battle with cocaine addiction and her previous stints in rehab on her previous record, with lyrics describing herself as 'a dumb little addict… trying to quit the snowflake.'

Lola had previously shared the criticism she faced for cancelling a string of concerts to focus on her recovery following her on-stage collapse.

She told Rolling Stone: 'There was a bunch of hate, but you know what? F**k it.

'[Going away] was a decision that I had to make . . . What else was I going to do? Die? That was the reality of where my addiction was heading.'

She continued: 'I chose to hurt myself and self-sabotage, and I also chose to get onstage and perform.'

Despite the traumatic incident, Lola said she is 'very grateful that it happened' because it was a turning point that allowed her to recover to have a 'better future and better herself'.

The singer also revealed that she was overwhelmed by supportive messages from fellow stars including Katy Perry, Elton John and Lady Gaga.

The British star has previously checked into rehab to tackle a cocaine addiction.

Earlier this year, Lola was nominated for five Brit Awards and last month picked up her first Grammy for Best Pop Solo Performance for her hit Messy.

After the win, the star revealed she planned to celebrate without alcohol and was spotted drinking an energy drink as she partied with icon Shania Twain at the star-studded Universal bash.

She said: 'I am going to have an In-N-Out burger with my manager and everyone. I don't drink, but it's going to be fun anyway.'

Lola revealed in 2022 that she had been diagnosed at the age of 17 with schizoaffective disorder.

She said in an Instagram post: 'I cant find the words to describe how much this diagnosis has affected my entire life, and my outlook on the world around me.

'I have struggled immensely learning to accept this part of myself, and I am still learning.

'I have to remind myself that I am a regular f****** person, I am human and I am, like everyone, capable of incredible things, my mental health condition does not define me. It is my superpower.'

Schizoaffective disorder is a mental health condition that is marked by a mix of schizophrenia symptoms, such as hallucinations and delusions, and mood disorder symptoms, such as depression, mania and a milder form of mania called hypomania, as per the NHS.

She made the discovery aged 17 after having suffered with what she thought was clinical depression and bipolar disorder.

She explained that she had an uncle on either side of her family who also had schizophrenia and who had both tragically died.

Lola believed that the condition may in part have been triggered by smoking cannabis as a way to manage childhood trauma, which she chose not to disclose the details of.

She said she can usually sense an oncoming manic episode when she starts getting strange thoughts, but is usually able to medicate to keep things under wraps, though she has previously been taken by surprise and ended up being sectioned.

Lola admitted the unpredictability of her illness makes touring difficult, and she sometimes has manic episodes that last a month and doesn't sleep for several days on the trot.

Lola said that her illness can present her with a lot of guilt and shame, and that she often feels ostracised after incidents in which she has been unwell in front of people.