Kristin Cavallari bared her soul about the process of mourning her brother Michael, whom she lost suddenly at the end of 2015.
Michael died at the age of 30 after crashing his car in rural Utah and succumbing to hypothermia three miles away from the wreck.
His body was found at the bottom of a hillside, almost two weeks after his empty car was discovered and he was reported missing.
Kristen has been candid about the fact Michael struggled with drink and drugs, and she has wondered aloud if he might have been bipolar.
Now, in a sneak peek for her podcast Let’s Be Honest, the 37-year-old reality star frankly discussed the way she grapples with her grief.
Kristin Cavallari bared her soul about the process of mourning her brother Michael, whom she lost suddenly at the end of 2015
Kristin shared that ‘the three-year anniversary was the hardest, and I remember my mom said: “It’s because at three years it becomes real”‘
She reflected that ‘grief is a wild thing and I actually feel like it is like a drug,’ describing the sensation as ‘a bit of a haze’ and comparing it to a ‘rollercoaster.’
The Very Cavallari star said: ‘It comes in waves. You know, you finally think you’re okay, and then it’s like – BAM! It hits you again.’
Kristin shared that ‘the three-year anniversary was the hardest, and I remember my mom said: “It’s because at three years it becomes real.” That’s when you’re like: “He’s not coming back. Like, Mike’s not coming back.”‘
She added that mourning ‘just takes time. It just takes time and I think you have to really allow yourself to feel every emotion, and it is every single emotion.’
On the three-year anniversary of his death, Kristin heartbreakingly posted a playful black-and-white picture of herself and Michael, both with drinks in hand.
‘Home from a busy morning and thinking of my brother,’ the mother of two wrote in the caption of her in memoriam post.
‘Today is the 3 year anniversary of his passing and I think this year is one of the hardest- as it’s real now. He’s not coming back and the shock is finally gone. Today and every single day, Mikey, we miss you.’
In late November 2015, Michael’s abandoned car was discovered in the Utah desert with the airbags deployed and the motor running.
She reflected that ‘grief is a wild thing and I actually feel like it is like a drug,’ describing the sensation as ‘a bit of a haze’; she and Michael are pictured as children
A nearly two-week manhunt ensued, culminating when the authorities located his body and determined he had died of hypothermia.
A little over two years later, Kristin appeared on Hollywood Medium told host Tyler Henry: ‘Mike dealt with, we think, bipolar disorder.’
She explained: ‘He would go into these manias and think that everything’s great, everything’s fine and then he would just crash and would be depressed.
Kristin recalled a ‘constant up and down, up and down. And then you throw drugs and alcohol into the mix and it would just enhance everything.’
During the emotional TV episode, she shared: ‘And it went on for years. He was dealing with some demons. There’s no doubt about it.’
