Kerry Washington has explained how yoga helped her to process the shock discovery that her dad is not her biological father.
The 46-year-old actress revealed in her new memoir, Thicker Than Water, that she only learned in 2018 that Earl Washington, the man she called ‘Dad’, was not her biological father when she was invited to participate in an episode of Finding Your Roots.
Kerry told the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast that yoga enabled her to handle the emotional turmoil caused by the unexpected revelation of her parentage as she tried to come to terms with living with ‘two truths’.
‘In yoga practice, you must have this combination of being steady and strong but also flexible and yielding,’ she explained. ‘That’s the very practice of yoga, it only works if you can tap into the surrender of each pose combined with the commitment and strength for each pose.’
Kerry Washington has claimed that yoga was a key tool which helped her process the shock discovery that her dad is not her biological father
In her new memoir, Thicker Than Water, the actress revealed that her parents admitted to her in 2018 that they had secretly used a sperm donor to conceive their beloved daughter
She continued: ‘So that’s one of the places where I started to learn what that feels like in my body and to think about it.’
The actress then told the podcaster: ‘But, as I’m sitting here, even just my commitment to say – and to help my dad say – that it’s okay for me to have two energies in my life that represent father.
‘That this donor, this stranger… I have no idea who this person is. There’s a whole team of people on the search but I don’t know who this donor is.
‘That because of the amount of genetic material that they’ve poured into me, and therefore all kind of coding, that person represents some of the father story and energy in my life.’
She continued: ‘But my dad is my dad. He represents the father energy in my life, he is the man who raised me and has loved me like a father and is also father. There’s no way for me to live my life without embracing those truths. It just is the fact of my life.’
The truth about her parentage came to light because Finding Your Roots uses genealogical records and DNA results to track family histories.
Kerry’s parents hadn’t realized this when she had first revealed that she would be taking part in the show.
‘When I said, “Spit in this tube,” they started freaking out,’ Kerry told The New York Times about her parents’ reaction to the DNA test. ‘My mom was like, “I didn’t know that this was going to happen”.’
Kerry explained that the discovery has helped deepen her bond with her father, Earl, and her mom, Valerie, pictured here during her childhood
Kerry explained on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast that yoga was the surprising tool she was able to lean on when trying to live with the ‘two truths’
The Scandal star says practicing yoga helped her to be able to process the fact there are now two energies in her life that represent a father
The Prophecy star said her father began having panic attacks and suffering from insomnia, and decided to pull out of the show.
After being advised by Gates to reveal the information while all parties were still alive, her parents scheduled a meeting with the Emmy winner.
During their 2018 get together, Kerry’s parents revealed they had used an anonymous sperm donor after they had trouble conceiving naturally.
Kerry said the secret of per parentage inspired her memoir, Thicker Than Water
Recalling the aftermath in her chat with Jay Shetty, Kerry explained: ‘This was shocking to me. And also not… It made so much sense to me because there had been this sense… I felt like I didn’t know myself.’
She continued: ‘I felt a disconnect to my parents and I felt a disconnect with myself. I never knew what to ascribe that to, I never knew why. Suddenly the pieces all fell into place.
‘It was like there was this beautiful puzzle on the wall of our home that had this one wrong piece in it but it was close enough that everyone just pretended that the painting was perfect.’
The actress admitted: ‘When my parents told me it was like somebody finally took that wrong puzzle piece that had been jammed into place and pulled it out and we all got to be honest.
‘And we don’t even know what the missing piece is because I don’t know who the donor is but at least now the painting is honest.’
Kerry has since gone through family therapy with her parents and her husband Nnamdi Asomugha, 42
Before finding out the truth, Kerry said she had always felt like something wasn’t quite right as a child
Noting that her father had struggled with the idea of her knowing the truth, she added: ‘To my dad, I am his and he is mine and there’s no point in acknowledging any other truth … It doesn’t matter … He is my dad, he will always be my dad.
‘There’s more complexity, there’s more nuance. … Yes, we belong to each other and there is this other figure that’s 50 percent of my genetics.’
The Little Fires Everywhere star revealed that her mom had originally planned on revealing the truth to her in a note which she would leave in a safe after she and her husband died.
Kerry admitted to Jay that she was relieved to not have discovered the truth that way, and explained that finding out now helped her build a closer bond with her parents.
‘Once I had this truth, I now have the opportunity to show my father what it feels like to be actually loved unconditionally,’ she said. ‘From this point on every time I say “I love you” it’s despite this truth that you thought was too horrible to bear … It felt like such an opportunity for healing.’
Thicker than Water is now available to buy.
