Kelsey Parker has revealed how she’s told her children she will ‘never leave them’ following the death of her baby, three years after her husband Tom died from a brain tumor.
The podcaster, 34, shared the devastating loss last month as her unborn baby Phoenix – her first with boyfriend Will Lindsay – was ‘born sleeping.’
She has now revealed to Daily Mail how she’s explained the tragedy to her two children, Aurelia, six, and Bodhi, four, who she welcomed with Tom.
She said: ‘Well I do think I’m a little bit of a pro now when it comes to grief. I just felt what was natural and I think your children lead you as well into where they want to go with the conversation around death.
‘So my daughter wants to talk about it all the time and Bodhi is more quiet, so I then take the lead and when they want to have a conversation, we talk about it, but I’m very open and I’m very honest.
‘I don’t use words like anyone’s gone to sleep, you know, they are dead and they’re not coming back. So I just try my best.’
Kelsey Parker has revealed how she’s told her children she will never leave them following the death of her baby, three years after her husband Tom died from a brain tumor
The podcaster, 34, shared the devastating loss last month as her unborn baby Phoenix – her first with boyfriend Will Lindsay – was ‘born sleeping’
Kelsey found the best thing for her children was to get them ‘straight back into a routine’ so they went back to school on the Monday after the loss.
She explained that her children are ‘so aware of death’ after losing their dad and how important it was that they knew she was ‘not going anywhere’.
She continued: ‘Well, I actually sent my children back [to school] on the Monday after we lost Phoenix.
‘They went straight back to school because I think routine is so good for your children in loss, because the adults are grieving and they’re hearing a lot of words and a lot of talking.
‘And I think for them, normality and being in school is really good for them. And routine, I think well, not maybe school such, but routine. Like living their routine was good for them.
‘They needed to see me be there, I was doing the school pickup because they needed to know that I was okay and that I’m not going anywhere.
‘So I think that’s really important, especially after since they obviously lost Tom as well.’
She added: ‘They are so aware of death and loss, so I think it’s more the other children in the class that haven’t gone through it and my children are talking about death, but it’s making and going to make my children the strongest of adults.’
She has now revealed to Daily Mail how she’s explained the tragedy to her two children, Aurelia, six, and Bodhi, four, who she welcomed with Tom
She said: ‘I think your children lead you into where they want to go with the conversation around death. My daughter wants to talk about it all the time and Bodhi is more quiet, but I’m very open and I’m very honest’
She added: ‘I don’t use words like anyone’s gone to sleep, you know, they are dead and they’re not coming back. So I just try my best’; pictured with Tom in 2021
Tom tragically died from brain cancer in 2022, at the age of 33, four years after marrying Kelsey.
The mother-of-two found love with tree surgeon Will Lindsay, two years after Tom’s death.
Following the recent heartbreak, Kelsey said her partner Will has been very supportive and it’s been ‘lovely’ to go through the grieving process together unlike when she lost her The Wanted singer husband Tom.
She told Daily Mail: ‘Do you know what obviously losing Tom, I didn’t have a partner and it was really, really hard, the nights were lonely.
‘I love being around people, and I think with Tom, I really, really struggled with that because how many times can you actually have your family around your house and go, “can you stay here until I fall to sleep”, because I don’t actually want to be on my own.
‘But with Phoenix, it’s been so lovely to be able to go through that with a partner and to have someone to talk to and actually, it’s a lived experience together.
‘But I just think with grief it is every day. With Tom, it’s not a day that goes past that I don’t think about Tom, when we don’t celebrate Tom. I’ll talk about him, like it’s terrible with these people that you’ve lived a life with.’
Kelsey revealed that she shows her children pictures and videos of Tom all the time and that they recently marked his 37th birthday during a camping trip.
However, during this difficult time she has credited an ‘angel’ bereavement nurse for helping her as she needed to speak to someone ‘other than my own family’.
Kelsey found love with Will , two years after Tom’s death and following the recent heartbreak, she said her partner has been very supportive and it’s been ‘lovely’ to go through the grieving process together
She said: ‘Even losing Phoenix, the phone calls you have to make, I have a really special bereavement nurse that I’ve spoken to near enough every day and she has literally been my lifeline during this.
‘I think I’m very spiritual. I think she’s been sent to me for a reason because she is just amazing and I needed that and I needed to talk to someone that wasn’t just my family.
‘Like, she’s dealing with baby loss or children that are dying every day, so she’s just been absolutely, well, she’s my angel. That’s what I say to her, you’re my angel’.
The podcaster also revealed she has ‘peace of mind’ as her baby ‘Phoenix sends her signs all the time’.
She continued: ‘They will always be a part of you and their energy’s there and you get signs, with Phoenix they are simple signs.
‘Like, white feathers, electrics. Oh my gosh I honestly get loads and I think whatever gives you peace of mind when you’re going through grief, whatever you find within your loss that gives you peace of mind, I think you have to go with that.
‘I think you just have to be open to the signs and you will receive what you need to receive from whoever, but yeah, there’ll always be a part of you, you know, as well with Phoenix I carried him for nine months, that will always be a part of me.’
Following the tragedy, Kelsey, Will and her two children jetted off to Turkey for a ‘well needed’ holiday which allowed them time to ‘process’ the loss.
‘It was well needed. I think we needed to get away as a family and to spend time and process’, she said.
‘I think it was it was good for the kids they needed that the most, especially Aurelia who needed to get away and not be in the house and actually just have a break.’
As Kelsey now starts to ease herself back into work, she is supporting Virgin Media O2 latest campaign, which was developed during her pregnancy and postponed due to the tragic circumstances.
Now, Kelsey felt ready to move forward and is ‘taking each day as it comes’, despite it being hard at times due to being ‘scrutinised’ in the public eye.
She said: ‘I’m just taking each day as it comes and trying to get back to work as well because work gets me through grief and I found that with Tom, but this time I haven’t thrown myself back into the full workload.
Kelsey has credited an ‘angel’ bereavement nurse for helping her through the tough time as she needed to speak to someone ‘other than my own family’
‘I felt like I had to with Tom. I was like, I want to work, I have got two children that need to be fed and watered and have a roof over their heads.
‘So I’m going to slowly get myself back to work and continue with life for Phoenix and you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, you have to you know, I think there’s a lot of judgement and people look as well into what you’re doing and you know, being in the public eye, you’re scrutinised.’
Virgin Media O2 and environmental charity, Hubbub, are urging Brits to back up and donate old phones as new research reveals 46% are holding onto devices due to sentimentality.
To help Brits save their precious photos so they can be turned into a photobook, Hubbub has created a simple step-by-step guide to wiping and backing up old devices safely, making it easier than ever for people to preserve important memories before donating their tech.
It coincides with the fifth anniversary of the scheme, which rehomes phones with people who need them, so they can get online to access essential websites and stay in touch with loved ones.
Speaking about the campaign, Kelsey added: ‘I signed up to this campaign whilst I was pregnant with Phoenix and it meant so much to me with losing Tom and how precious our memories are, but also with people that haven’t got what some of us have.
‘We all have drawers full of phones that are dusty, but you could actually be giving them back to people that need them, the homeless, or a woman that has tried to flee a domestic violence relationship, you know, these phones that are a lifeline for people and that’s what drew me to getting involved.
‘My journey with Tom, it’s been all about giving back to people and helping people and doing as much as I can for charity and getting involved with Virgin Media 02 has just been so special for me.’
If you have been affected by anything in this article, please contact The Lullaby Trust on 0808 8026868
