Kelsey Parker: Grieving Son Harder Than Husband

has opened up on grieving the losses of her husband and her stillborn son, while still being a mother to her two children.

The media personality, 35, first faced tragedy in 2022 when her husband, The Wanted star , died from a brain tumour aged 33. The pair had two children together, Aurelia, six, and Bodhi, four.

Two years after the singer's death, Kelsey found love with partner Will Lindsay, 28, and announced they were expecting their first child together in January last year.

However, the couple were left devastated in June, when their baby boy, Phoenix, was tragically stillborn, a week before his due date.

And discussing navigating the painful losses to Georgia Jones on their Mum's The Word podcast, Kelsey said she found grieving Phoenix 'harder than with Tom'.

The author explained that it was much more challenging to explain to Aurelia and Bodhi, because they were older and understood more than they did when their father died.

She said: 'It was so hard. I think with Phoenix, it was harder than it was with Tom. I think because [the kids] were so much younger, it's like I could just be like, "Daddy wasn't coming back."

'And you know, when I said about the angels taking daddy and we won't see daddy again, it was like they accepted that and we sort of moved on.

'And now as time's gone on, they asked me more questions about their dad and stuff, but that initial I suppose with Bodhi as well. He was 18 months old. It wasn't a question that he even thought.'

Kelsey went on to describe how different it had been with Phoenix, with the kids much more aware and asking more questions, revealing that Aurelia in particular had 'massively struggled' with the loss and became 'so angry'.

'Obviously when Phoenix died, they knew the reality of that as well, so, they knew "We're never going to see Phoenix and we're never going to get to meet Phoenix",' she said.

Georgia also pointed out that the kids had been there through Kelsey's pregnancy, spending nine months looking forward to meeting their little brother.

Kelsey replied: 'And we still have all the baby stuff in the house now. We've not got rid of it, it's all still up. And Aurelia will go and play with Phoenix's cot and put her babies in.

'I'm going to keep it all. Phoenix is very much there in the house. We obviously talk about Phoenix as well because he's very present in the house and there was a baby that was coming and the baby didn't come.'

She candidly shared how Aurelia had been 'angry for such a long period of time', after the devastating loss and admitted being at a loss how to answer the kids' difficult questions.

'They obviously asked at the time "Why?" And well why do people die? Because they do? There's not really an answer is there,' she said.

'I said "Phoenix is with Daddy now". And I think now that gives them peace. At the time it didn't give Aurelia any peace whatsoever, but I think it's given her peace now.

'She massively struggled. She was angry for such a long period of time. I would say probably like until October, November last year. She'd get so angry and that is so out of character for Aurelia.'

The entrepreneur also shared how she coped with her own feelings of pain and loss while still focussing on being a mother to Aurelia and Bodhi, as she declared that grief 'never goes away'.

'I'm grieving whilst being a mum. That doesn't stop me. And motherhood doesn't stop me grieving. You don't have a choice', she said.

'The thing is with grief, it never goes away. So you have to sort of get on with it because that pain is never going anywhere. I think you're forever grieving.

'People say time is a healer but time is just time. And I do think the further you go on obviously you don't have that waking up going "Oh my god"  but then something will happen during that day to think I've not got a baby here.'