EASTENDERS
Will Sharon’s hen do excavate a smile from her permanently stressed expression? Complete with stripper, it’s the usual classless event we expect from Walford’s ‘ladies’ (I use the word ‘ladies’ very loosely), but Sharon still has trouble getting into the party spirit. Who can blame her.
Fearful that an on-the-edge Linda might let slip what she knows about Albie’s paternity, her attempt at a brave face looks more like someone jumping out of a plane – without a parachute.
The Mona Lisa is a veritable Laughing Policeman compared to Sharon these days. How many difficult conversations must the poor woman suffer? Karen, Keanu, Phil, Zack… and after bumping into Linda, she has a tense conversation with Kat outside number 55.
What’s all that about? Let’s just say they’re not exchanging Christmas cards. Looks like it’s going to be another miserable fairm-ly Christmas.
Sharon (right) has a tense conversation with Kat (left) after bumping into Linda
Kaffy definitely won’t be belting out It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, either. When Nish implies that Rocky was responsible for the cafe fire, Harvey just about confirms it; but will Rocky own up?
Will Kaffy ever have any luck with men? Give her a bag of Revels and she’d always end up with the vile coffee one. She couldn’t see a bad ‘un coming if he rode up on a giraffe.
It looks like the costume department have been raiding Elstree’s underwear department again, when Kim gives Denise new lingerie to help reinvigorate her relationship with Jack.
Forget the undies; just tell her to shut up for an hour. That would excite him.
The plan goes horribly awry when Jack overhears Priya and Denise discussing the latter’s affair with Ravi. See? I told you. Just zip it, Denise.
Should she be worried when Jack and Stacey (Cagney and Stacey – I feel a whole new show coming on) pair up to try to find Eve? They’ve just been shopping together, too. You’re going to need antlers to hang on to him this Christmas, Denise.
IT COULD BE YOU!
EastEnders eagerly awaits the identity of the Christmas Day Corpse wearing cufflinks.
‘It could be any of us,’ says Danny Walters (Keanu).
Hmmm. I doubt Keanu would know how to put them on.
CORONATON STREET
‘The evil that men do lives after them,’ says Mark Antony in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. Nowhere is this truer than in Weatherfield, where Stephen’s crimes continue to have a knock-on effect.
When Jenny finds a reference to ‘Infinity Seagull Ventures’ on Stephen’s laptop and takes it to the police, Swain says they don’t have the resources to try to crack the password. Of course not. If they couldn’t crack a serial killer, computer codes are going to be way above their paygrade.
Audrey (pictured) wants to keep hold of Stephen’s diary and calls into the Kabin explaining to Carla and Jenny that it’s Stephen’s journal
Insisting that her son wasn’t all bad (as serial killers go, it’s true he was no Jack the Ripper), Audrey wants to hold on to Stephen’s diary and calls into the Kabin explaining to Carla and Jenny that it’s Stephen’s journal.
Does it contain the vital passwords? Given the size of it, the greater likelihood is that it’s a catalogue of Gail’s dead husbands.
Evelyn’s back is against the wall when Terry threatens Tyrone and she realises she’ll have to return Terry’s dog, which Roy has taken to the rescue centre. It’s the start of a big puppy farm storyline so be warned: some viewers might find this distressing.
In better news: Crystal’s leaving for Glasgow. One-way ticket, hopefully.
Evelyn shows us her cuddly side
How far do you go to protect doggie rights? It’s the question Corrie’s Evelyn faces when, having stolen Terry’s dog, she’s confronted by the cruel owner.
Maureen Lipman (Evelyn) is a dog lover in real life, too, and thinks that working with them has shown a different side to Evelyn. Sadly, she didn’t get to work with puppies for the storyline. Just as well, perhaps: ‘I’d have been putty in their hands.’
EMMERDALE
Mack tails Amy… and sets a trap for Chloe
A worked-up Mack is always a joy to behold because his divine head of hair goes into floppy mode and makes it look even more luscious. He really does have the best head of hair in soapland. Be prepared for another lock fest when he follows Amy with the intention of finding out where Chloe has taken Reuben.
Frustrated by Amy’s lack of cooperation, he loses it and grabs her phone, hoping to lure Chloe to a meeting via text. Realising she’s walking into a trap, Chloe replies, telling Mack he’ll never see his son again. If it keeps whining Chloe out of his life, I’d say that’s a small price to pay.
Mack is frustrated by Amy’s refusal to cooperate and ends up grabbing her phone in a rage, hoping to lure Chloe to a meeting via text
What will Matty hitting Mack mean for his relationship with Amy? It looks to be on course when Matty returns home and tells her they can’t let other people’s problems keep them apart. Good luck with that in this village. It’s a breeding ground for other people’s problems ruining relationships.
Mind you, people make a good enough job of bringing about their own ruination. Take Tracy and Caleb, who now start to see themselves as kindred spirits. That must have been one mixed-up medium they consulted.
