Celebrity Race Across The World (BBC1)
Here’s an answer to Britain’s overcrowding crisis. Let’s send all the celebrities overseas to be adopted.
For some reason, in villages along the equator, cheerful farmers and hard-working artisans adore our semi-famous personalities.
Perhaps they’re dazzled by the whiteness of their teeth.
Chirpy chappie Jeff Brazier and his 16-year-old son Freddie arrived at a shack in remote northern Brazil, in Celebrity Race Across The World, and were welcomed like prodigals.
Farmer Jose didn’t say much, it’s true — he was busy butchering half a cow that was hanging from a tree, and laying scraps of meat on the hut’s corrugated iron roof, to cure in the blistering heat.
Chirpy chappie Jeff Brazier and his 16-year-old son Freddie arrived at a shack in remote northern Brazil , in Celebrity Race Across The World, and were welcomed like prodigals
Within just a few hours, the Braziers were part of their new adopted family
In another state of this vast country, Radio 2 DJ Scott Mills and his fiance Sam were staying with 80-year-old Elsa, who scraped a living by boiling up fruit to make into jam and sweets.
With their bags packed, Scott and Sam arrived all smiles in Brazil
But his beaming wife Maria welcomed the Brits with open arms, ushering them into her barn where she was grinding up sweetcorn for maize flour.
Freddie was terrified of the scrawny chickens that scurried underfoot, until Maria picked one up and thrust it into his hands.
A few hours later, the Braziers were part of the family. ‘I only had one child,’ Maria cooed, in Portuguese. ‘Now you are one more.’ And she added in English, ‘My son!’
In another state of this vast country, Radio 2 DJ Scott Mills and his fiance Sam were staying with 80-year-old Elsa, who scraped a living by boiling up fruit to make into jam and sweets.
They couldn’t understand a word each other said. Even sign language failed them.
But Elsa was thrilled to take selfies with the duo, and after they taught her to grin and say ‘Cheese,’ she couldn’t stop chanting it.
Then she danced with them, chuckling, ‘These are granny’s boys.’
With or without celebrities, Race Across The World has become one of the Beeb’s most successful formats.
It strikes the right balance between showing us parts of the planet we might never have dreamt existed, and giving us an insight into the bonds between those couples taking part.
Confessions on a boat: Former glamour model Kelly Brook, sweetly besotted with her judo champion husband Jeremy, was in a rush to tell us about herself
Actor Kola Bokinni, one of the stars of the AppleTV+ football sitcom Ted Lasso, is travelling with his cousin Mary Ellen – but we’ve seen less and less of them, which is an intriguing sign
Former glamour model Kelly Brook, sweetly besotted with her judo champion husband Jeremy, was in a rush to tell us about herself, and clearly wants to use the show as an opportunity to shed her old skin.
‘My happy place is my garden,’ she declared, ‘in my wellies, like no make-up and hair up. To think that I was a pin-up doing calendars — it’s all just an illusion, not who I am at all.
‘Kelly Brook doesn’t actually exist, it’s not even a real name, it’s never even been on my passport.’
Actor Kola Bokinni, one of the stars of the AppleTV+ football sitcom Ted Lasso, is travelling with his cousin Mary Ellen.
We’ve seen less of them so far, which is always an intriguing sign on a reality show.
It’s only a few weeks since brother and sister James and Betty, on the previous Race series in the Far East, set millions of viewers choking back sobs.
After drifting apart as teenagers, they ended the show closer than they’d ever been. Who wouldn’t want to adopt them?
