Geordie Shore star Holly Hagan has detailed her battle with postpartum anxiety following the birth of her son Alpha-Jax, two.
The reality personality, 33, who has launched a new career move hosting CBeebies Parenting Helpline podcast, admitted she questioned her choice to become a mother at the height of her battle with her mental health.
Holly shares Alpha-Jax with husband Jacob Blyth, a footballer for semi-pro Wythenshawe Town, with whom she would ‘bicker’ at her lowest points.
The star, who shot to fame on the MTV show at 18, told MSN: ‘When it’s your first child, you don’t realise that everything’s a stage – but it was a bloody long stage…
‘He would whinge all the time, nothing made him happy. I think he hated being a baby. All he wanted to do was walk, talk, eat, crawl. I wondered if I’d made a mistake in choosing to be a parent…
Geordie Shore star Holly Hagan has detailed her battle with postpartum anxiety following the birth of her son Alpha-Jax, two
The reality personality, 33, who has launched a new career move hosting CBeebies Parenting Helpline podcast, admitted she questioned her choice to become a mother at the height of her battle with her mental health
‘I loved this child to bits, I felt such a strong bond, but to not be able to do anything that made him happy was difficult. Every day, I was like, ‘This has to get better, it can’t go on like this.’
Holly discussed how she could not get any rest due to her fears over her son which made her feel worse, saying: ‘I had postpartum anxiety and it sounds so morbid but I couldn’t sleep when he was sleeping…
‘ I thought he was going to stop breathing, so I would just stare at him all night. And considering we were pretty much perfect before children, me and Jacob were bickering every day…
‘But if you can get through that first year, you can get through anything.’
Her new chat comes after Holly heartbreakingly revealed she suffered a miscarriage in March. Last month she held a Q&A on Instagram on Thursday in which she was asked about having more children.
When asked: ‘Are you having anymore children? Your a great mum [sic]’, Holly, who shot to fame on the MTV show in 2011, replied with the heartbreaking news and urged fans to stop quizzing her on children.
Layered over the top of a picture of two pregnancy tests, Holly wrote: ‘Just because 90% of the questions are about when we’re having another and I do get constant comments like ‘AJ needs a sibling’ and I’m like I KNOWW!!…
Holly discussed how she could not get any rest due to her fears over her son which made her feel worse, saying: ‘I had postpartum anxiety and it sounds so morbid but I couldn’t sleep when he was sleeping’
Jacob is pictured with son Alpha-Jax in 2023
Layered over the top of a picture of two pregnancy tests, Holly wrote: ‘Just because 90% of the questions are about when we’re having another and I do get constant comments like ‘AJ needs a sibling’ and I’m like I KNOWW!!’
‘I did want to speak about it at the time but didn’t know how and didn’t know how and didn’t want any sympathy (and still don’t so please don’t message lol) but we did miscarry in March…
‘Just a reminder to be mindful when commenting saying ‘when’s the next’ because holw on earth would we know that.’
Holly is often candid on social media and has frequently opened up about the ups and downs of motherhood since welcoming Alpha-Jax in June 2023.
For help, contact Pre and Postnatal Depression Advice and Support (PANDAS) – helpline on 0808 196 1776 (11am to 10pm every day) or email info@pandasfoundation.org.uk
