Hoda Kotb has opened up about the grief she felt in the weeks after losing her father, who died suddenly from a heart attack when the TV host was still in college.
During Thursday’s episode of Today with Hoda & Jenna, the 60-year-old star and cohost Jenna Bush Hager were discussing being ‘strong women’ – as well as always feeling the need to have a ‘tough exterior’ – when Hoda had a flashback.
‘Sometimes it’s so funny, I just had a weird memory. A long, long time ago when I was in college, my dad had passed and I still remember one of my sorority sisters… it was weeks after and I was just trying to get back on the train of college, and she walked in.
‘All she did was she sat next to me for a second and she looked at me and she goes, “can I ask you something?” and I said, “yeah,” and she goes, “how are you for real?” Because usually I’m like, “I’m good, it’s all good, I’ve just gotta study…”
‘And I looked at her and it was like the dam burst. It was almost like when you are sitting across from someone who in all sincerity asks you… some people want to hear “good” because they want to peace out and I get it.
Hoda Kotb opened up the aftermath of her father’s death during Thursday’s episode of Today with Hoda & Jenna
Kotb was a junior at Virginia Tech when her dad, Abdel Kader Kotb, died of a heart attack at the age of 51. She is pictured with her father and sister, Hala
‘But I still remember her name was Amy and she looked at me and she said, “no, for real” and the dam exploded. And it wasn’t like she was one of my besties, she was a really good friend but it just reminds you sometimes just being asked is…’ Hoda trailed off.
Jenna, 42, replied: ‘Yes and also the courage it takes to ask that, because talking about things like that can be kind of awkward, so the courage it took for her to come sit next to you and really ask it.’
Hoda previously revealed that she struggled to get back into her studies after her father’s sudden death
‘And the other thing I learned, and anyone whose lost someone knows this, sometimes people say, “I don’t want to invade their privacy, so I’m not gonna go, I’m not gonna call, I’m not gonna reach out,”‘ Hoda continued.
‘I learned, for me, always call, always reach out, always show up. Give the person the right to say, “no thank you,” but if you don’t show up, you are making the decision for them.
‘They might actually need you. Even if you show up with a casserole, even if you just write a note, even if you say, “I just called to hear your voice, I’m gonna hang up, I love you,” something… but the idea of I’m just gonna give them time, I think it’s best just to ask.’
Jenna agreed: ‘And when people do show up for you, you never forget it,’ as Hoda concluded: ‘There’s nothing better.’
Hoda was a junior at Virginia Tech when her dad, Abdel Kader Kotb, sadly died of a heart attack at the age of 51.
Speaking about her loss during an episode of Today with Hoda & Jenna in August 2023, Hoda referenced another friend who showed up for her during that difficult time.
Hoda told her cohost Jenna Bush Hager that she learned you should ‘always reach out’ to someone who has lost a loved one
‘My dad had passed, and I was in a class and didn’t care about my class, didn’t care about anything,’ Hoda explained
Hoda’s good friend Peggy Fox once walked out of college class with her in order to console her following the death of her dad
The mother-of-two revealed how long-time pal Peggy Fox failed a class to be by her side when school became too much for her to handle.
‘My dad had passed, and I was in a class and didn’t care about my class, didn’t care about anything,’ Hoda explained to Jenna.
‘There was a quiz, and I remember I looked at the teacher, and the teacher said, “you got to take the quiz,” and I wasn’t feeling it, and I said, “I’m leaving.”‘
The teacher warned her that she would fail the class if she didn’t take the quiz, but she still grabbed her backpack and walked out.
‘I felt someone [else] pick up their backpack, and I just kept walking. I didn’t say a word,’ she said. ‘I walked all the way to the duck pond, which was a very peaceful spot, and I sat on a picnic table, on top of it, and she sat next to me.’
Hoda, who is still close friends with Peggy, explained that the simple gesture was exactly what she needed at the time.
‘When I was ready, I go, “I can’t believe you just failed that class with me.” She said, “Well, I wanted to be here, sitting with you,”‘ she said. ‘That’s it. Not, “Do you want me? Do you need me?” It’s like, you turn, and they’re sitting there.’
