Hayden Panettiere Opens Up About Motherhood Struggles

It's been eight years since relinquished custody of her 11-year-old daughter Kaya Evdokia Klitschko to her ex-fiancé .

'It was a living nightmare, and I felt so out of control. There's nothing that I could do about it,' the 36-year-old Heroes alum recalled in her Us Weekly cover story Thursday.

'There's so much of me that wanted to fight, but I had to ultimately take into consideration the most important thing, which was how this was all going to affect my daughter.

'Sometimes that means having to do the hardest things in the world, for their sake. Wlad is an incredible father, and I know he was doing what he felt was best for our daughter.'

Panettiere's downward spiral with postpartum not only lead to the end of her nine-year on/off relationship with the 50-year-old retired heavyweight boxer in 2018, but she felt like she was 'incapable of being a semi-decent mom.'

'I was nowhere near the mom that I had sworn to myself that one day I was going to be and that was devastating,' the two-time nominee said.

'[It] was heartbreaking. I'm such a perfectionist in so many ways that being at least a good mother was just so, so important to me. And such a crushing blow when I was incapable of being, an even semi-decent mom, in my mind.'

Left untreated, postpartum depression can last for many months up to three years, according to the Mayo Clinic.

'I feel like I would be lying if I said that I have, even to this day, been able to fully process them, those emotions in a healthy way,' Panettiere said.