Gwyneth Paltrow shared the regrets she has from the early days of her marriage to Brad Falchuk.
The Talented Mr. Ripley star, 52, and the Glee creator, 54, appeared together on her Goop podcast, which was released on Tuesday.
The pair discussed how they had a difficult time blending their families for the first year of marriage, and decided to not live together.
Gwyneth has two children, Apple, 20, and Moses, 19, from her previous marriage to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin while Brad shares his children, Isabella, 20, and Brody, 18, with film producer Suzanne Bukinik.
‘One thing we did that was maybe a little bit different was, we got married and then didn’t move in together for a year,’ Brad said. ‘Would you have done the same thing this time? Again?’
Gwyneth said that though they thought they were doing ‘the right thing’ then, she would have done thing differently now.
Gwyneth Paltrow, 52, shared the regrets she has from the early days of her marriage to Brad Falchuk, 54, on a new episode of her Goop podcast; She is pictured in 2024
The pair discussed how they had a difficult time blending their families for the first year of marriage, and decided to not live together
‘We were trying to kind of land the plane very, very gently and slowly and get everybody on board. But I’m not sure that it didn’t just prolong that thing of like, we don’t know what we’re doing. What do you think?’ the Oscar winner asked.
Brad agreed that them not living together made things more complicated.
‘I think them having agency is really important. But power, to actually keep these two adults from living together? I think it made them more uncomfortable and more like, “Okay, this is not something that is solid.”‘
Elsewhere on the podcast Gwyneth also opened up about her ‘rough and rocky’ time becoming a stepmother.
‘In an ideal world, the relationship that you have your kids in works out, and your kids never have to experience divorce or blending families or anything like that. But a lot of times, that’s not the case,’ she said.
‘Step-parenting is a pretty tricky arena. It requires a great deal of accountability, vulnerability, understanding your triggers – and nothing quite seems to trigger somebody, especially women, like stepmothers,’ she said.
The actress revealed she struggled to bring Brad into her children’s lives after separating from Chris.
‘What seems to happen every time is the dad is in the middle. The kids are having a hard time understanding and adjusting, they don’t want to let go of the family dynamic they had, and the dad is trying to appease both and play both sides.’
Gwyneth said that though they thought they were doing ‘the right thing’ then, she would have done thing differently now; They are pictured in 2019
‘We were trying to kind of land the plane very, very gently and slowly and get everybody on board. But I’m not sure that it didn’t just prolong that thing of like, we don’t know what we’re doing,’ the Oscar winner said; The pair seen in 2024
Gwyneth has two children, Apple, 20, and Moses, 19, from her previous marriage to Coldplay frontman Chris Martin while Brad shares his children, Isabella, 20, and Brody, 18, with film producer Suzanne Bukinik
‘And the woman is like: Hey! Your kids are having a hard time! It’s very easy to take it personally.’
‘I think women come in wanting harmony and good intentions, and it’s like the dream that it all is like the Brady Bunch and it blends really well.
‘But the truth is, the only place to act out is against the stepmother – because they don’t want to push the dad away.’
Gwyneth ‘consciously uncoupled’ from Chris in 2014 after ten years of marriage, when Apple was nine and Moses eight.
She started dating film and television producer Brad later that year after they met on the set of TV series Glee, which he produced and in which she had acted.
They tied the knot in 2018 in the Hamptons – two years after Gwyneth and Chris’ divorce was finalized.
Gwyneth claims it was actually his children – rather than her own – who helped her understand what it meant to be a mother.
‘To be maternal… actually, it was your kids who really helped me define this. When I look back, we traversed through some really rough things. The lessons you learn from your stepchildren have been really profound for me,’ she said.
‘One of my most profound lessons that I learned from my relationship with your daughter, which is now so fantastic, is that there was testing going on.’
Gwyneth and Brad tied the knot in 2018 in the Hamptons – two years after Gwyneth and Chris’ divorce was finalized
‘She was testing me all the time to see at what point I would reject her. And at some point, I decided, I just need to be exactly that – the essence of maternal: without opinions, without words, without corrections.’
‘What does it mean to embody the essence of the maternal? I landed on this metaphor of the sun. The sun is incredibly warm and casting off light and sunshine, ray of light, and doesn’t need anything back in order to be it.
‘It just gives off – it just emanates. And that’s what I thought Izzy needed from me. I was just going to be that presence for her, always loving and forgiving.’
‘It’s interesting because I’ve never had a clear opportunity to ascend to my highest self more than in my role as a stepmother because I think it required a mastery over my own impulses, my own damage, you know, my own weaknesses, my own my ego, all the things.’
‘I had to talk to myself. I had to actively remind myself to be the adult at all times, and there were, like, a few moments that were really, really hard.’
