Erika Jayne revealed that she contemplated suicide while dealing with the fallout of Tom Girardi’s legal problems during her special that aired on Wednesday on Bravo.
The 52-year-old reality star was the focus of the two-hour special Erika Jayne: Bet It All On Blonde that showed her preparing for her Las Vegas comeback show.
‘There was nothing hopeful on the horizon for years. That’s when you’re like, ”Well, why am I here?” I thought about killing myself many times,’ Erika said.
‘I would talk to my son ”I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be here” and he’s like ”That’s great but here’s what you are going to do. You are going to dig your heels in and you’re going to fight like a motherf***er and you’re going to show everyone that they were wrong and you were right and then we can have this conversation after that, but until then, you’re going to fight”,’ she added referencing her son Tommy Zizzo, 30.
When the episode opened, Erika was in Las Vegas with only 24 hours to take the stage for her new residence at the Mandalay Bay resort and casino. Mikey Minden, her creative director, told Erika that everyone was waiting for her to come alive.
Erika Jayne revealed that she contemplated suicide while dealing with the fallout of Tom Girardi ‘s legal problems during her special that aired on Wednesday on Bravo
‘Yeah, I’m not here,’ Erika said as Mikey started sobbing.
‘We are less than 24 hours from opening night,’ Erika’s manager Alexis Fisher said to her. ‘This is everything you’ve ever wanted and we need to make the most of it, because you are not going to get this moment back again.’
The show then flashed back 30 days earlier to Erika at her house in Los Angeles on the first day of rehearsals.
‘Between divorce, competency hearings and indictments, and losing everything, and bankruptcy, the last three years have sucked,’ Erika said.
Erika said 20 years ago her estranged husband Tom Girardi, 84, was known as a great plaintiffs lawyer.
‘I could never have predicted that I would be in this situation with him,’ Erika said. ‘But more importantly that he is where he is – disgraced, disbarred and indicted and in a home for Alzheimer’s, dementia.’
Erika said she was married to him for more than two decades and could not ‘shrug that off.’
‘I feel terrible about the clients and that they did not receive what they were entitled to receive,’ Erika said. ‘These people have been wrong, harmed. They want answers from a law firm that they put their trust in.’
Tom Girardi, shown with Erika in June 2016 in Los Angeles, was a powerful attorney before he was accused of defrauding his clients and disbarred in 2022
‘There was nothing hopeful on the horizon for years. That’s when you’re like, ”Well, why am I here?” I thought about killing myself many times,’ Erika said
Mikey Minden, her creative director, told Erika that everyone was waiting for her to come alive
The 52-year-old reality star was the focus of the two-hour special Erika Jayne: Bet It All On Blonde that showed her preparing for her Las Vegas comeback show
‘I’ve lost everything and I’m starting over,’ Erika said.
Erika went to her first rehearsal. When she got home after a long day, she carried her old dog Tiago out for a walk. Erika shared that when she first moved in with Tom that she showed up with two garbage bags of clothes.
‘Tom was a mentor to me,’ Erika said.
Erika said her birth father left her family when she was only nine months old. Her mother remarried but once took her to uncover her stepfather cheating. She said there wasn’t a lot of trust in men in her family.
A member of Tom’s legal team showed up at her door and said they wanted to talk to her before Tom’s competency hearing. Erika said she would have her lawyer get in touch.
‘You got to be f***ing kidding me,’ Erika said.
Erika felt overwhelmed preparing for her show and said she had one chance to prove she could sell her tickets. Erika asked for a $100,000 budget increase for her show, but it was denied by the promoter.
Later, Erika said that she didn’t think her castmates on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills understood that she was grieving the loss of a marriage and a person.
‘I’ve lost everything and I’m starting over,’ Erika said
When she got home after a long day, Erika carried her old dog Tiago out for a walk
‘They care about their own skin,’ Erika said. ‘There’s a whole lot of judgment and accusations.’
Erika said her situation felt dark.
She later applied for a $100,000 personal loan to come up with the extra money for her show herself, but she didn’t get the loan because of the litigation that she was tied to and because of the Girardi name.
‘We are going to have an incredible show no matter what,’ Mikey said. ‘Stop obsessing on the budget.’
Mikey encouraged Erika in rehearsals to give it her all.
‘Sorry guys she just doesn’t know the show at all,’ Mikey said to the cameras while walking off. ‘She is not checked in one bit.’
Erika confronted him.
‘I’m just so frustrated with the process of what’s happening in there,’ Mikey said.
‘We are going to have an incredible show no matter what,’ Mikey said. ‘Stop obsessing on the budget’
‘I need you to believe in me a little bit more,’ Erika said. ‘Let me go work on it. I just need a little practice.’
Nine days before the Vegas show, Erika went to Center Stage to see the mock up of her stage and started crying.
‘It’s holy s*** my show is coming up,’ Erika said.
Six days before the show, Erika was nervous about how things were going and Mikey was stressed out.
In the second part of the special, Erika traveled to Vegas and it was three days before her show.
‘It’s obvious I don’t know the show yet,’ Erika said. ‘And before I can be free and killing it in this performance, I’m having a hard time just committing it to memory.’
Mikey told Erika in her room to work on her bed scene with Jamie from her dance crew. A producer told Erika that Tom had a hearing and looked frail. Erika wondered how he was doing.
Erika said Tom called her all the time and he still tells her that his law practice was great.
Erika said Tom called her all the time and he still tells her that his law practice was great
‘As far as he’s concerned he’s practicing law and not in a memory care facility and not with all these legal problems,’ Erika said. ‘And then you will put down the phone and he will call two seconds later ”Hi, how’s it going?” like we never had the last phone call.’
Erika said she was trying to be patient and kind but the repetitive phone calls take her back to her past. Mikey showed an earlier video of Erika doing her song One Hot Pleasure and said she was free spirited and that he had given her no choreography.
Erika’s manager Alexis appeared on set and said she wanted to talk to Mikey and some of the others about sensitive matters but didn’t want the producers to film them. She told everyone to take their microphones off. The producer told her that it would affect the quality of the show. It was 24 hours before the show and Erika was not included in the meeting.
Mikey emerged and told Erika they wanted to cut the One Hot Pleasure song.
‘I feel like there is no spark,’ Mikey said.
‘I don’t feel confident about any of it,’ Erika said.
Mikey started crying. Alexis told her that she needed to make the most of it because she wouldn’t get this moment back.
‘As your friend, I feel like there is a piece missing,’ Mikey said.
‘I don’t feel confident about any of it,’ Erika said
Erika’s mother provided some much needed support
‘Yeah, I’m not here,’ Erika said. ‘I have to show up for myself.’
‘How do I make this better?’ Mikey cried at the camera. ‘All this would be fine if she would perform.’
Six hours before the show Mikey told her to go out there and have fun. Minutes before the actual show, a crowd started chanting Erika’s name. Mikey told everyone to have fun and have an amazing show.
The crowd cheered for Erika when she took the stage and did her first song Expensive and followed it up with Pretty Mess.
‘Thank you so much Las Vegas,’ Erika said. ‘This has been an amazing night.’
Erika hugged her dancers and her team backstage.
Mikey was thrilled with the results and proudly embraced Erika.
The crowd cheered for Erika when she took the stage and did her first song Expensive and followed it up with Pretty Mess
Erika elevated her performance during the show after struggling in rehearsals
The next day, Erika said that when she saw so many people rooting for her that she realized she wasn’t alone.
‘So many people were really rooting for me,’ Erika said crying.
The final slides at the end of the special said ‘Bet it All on Blonde’ opened to rave reviews and was a commercial success.
Viewers also were told that Tom was declared competent to stand trial by a federal judge on January 2, 2024.
An update also revealed that Erika’s dog Tiago passed away one month after the opening night of her residency.
The next day, Erika said that when she saw so many people rooting for her that she realized she wasn’t alone
The final slides at the end of the special said ‘Bet it All on Blonde’ opened to rave reviews and was a commercial success
Viewers also were told that Tom was declared competent to stand trial by a federal judge on January 2, 2024
An update also revealed that Erika’s dog Tiago passed away one month after the opening night of her residency
Erika and Tom got married in 2000 and she announced their separation in November 2020 and her intention to divorce.
A federal judge in December 2020 froze Tom’s assets after determining he had misappropriated at least $2 million in client funds that were owed to families of those killed in a 2018 airplane crash.
A Los Angeles Times article in December 2020 alleged that Tom ‘stole millions of dollars from vulnerable clients’ and improperly funneled more than $20 million to EJ Global, a company that financed Erika’s entertainment and singing career.
A judge ruled in August 2022 that plaintiffs in a $5 million civil fraud lawsuit could not prove that Erika had either knowledge or involvement in the alleged fraud.
