Davina McCall has admitted she did things she thought she would never do and ‘really hated herself’ when she got clean after her drugs and booze battle.
The TV presenter, 57, spoke candidly about how she disappointed herself and those close to her while trying to overcome years of struggling with addiction.
Davina began taking cocaine in her young teens, as well as drinking and smoking. By the time she was in her early 20s she was taking heroin.
Her friends and family – led by her grandmother – held an intervention and Davina overhauled her life and began attending Narcotics Anonymous meeting.
Discussing that period of her life with Closer, Davina said: ‘I hated myself when I got clean. I really hated myself. I did things which I said I would never do. I’d let myself and other people down.
She felt like she was ‘infected by a dark shadow’ and said it took her a long time to love herself again, having got ‘all of the mad stuff’ out of her system by the time she landed her first TV job with MTV at 25.
Davina McCall has admitted she did things she thought she would never do and ‘really hated herself’ when she got clean after her drugs and booze battle
Davina also revealed her fury over losing out on a job to Scarlett Moffatt
At the age of 31, Davina started fronting a show called Streetmate from 1998 for three years, a reality dating game show which has now become a cult favourite.
Davina hosted a one-off Stand Up to cancer special in 2016 and was involved in discussions to bring the show back, which ultimately ended in disappointment.
She said: ‘It was so fun doing it again and Channel 4 were like “let’s bring it back”.
However, Davina shared her bitter disappointed when the job was given to Scarlett Moffatt, 34.
She said: ‘Two days before they announced its revival, bosses told me they were going with Scarlett. I was like “no!” but Scarlett presented it, it didn’t go well, so I was like “we have to let go of that now”.
When the planned reboot was going ahead in 2017, the new frontwoman said she had been asking original host Davina for tips ahead of the show’s return.
The popular I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here 2016 winner said: ‘Hopefully I’ll do Davina proud.
‘I’ve actually had a chat with her about it and she wished me luck, which was really nice.
At the age of 31, Davina started fronting a show called Streetmate from 1998 for three years, a reality dating game show which has now become a cult favourite
However, Davina shared her bitter disappointed when the job was given to Scarlett Moffatt, 34
‘I said I hope I don’t let her down. It’s hard this dating business! Love is complicated.’
However it the end the revival plans were scrapped.
In November, Davina revealed she was diagnosed with a colloid cyst, a rare type of benign brain tumour and underwent a six-hour operation.
Speaking about the terrifying ordeal at the time, Davina admitted her tumour – whom she called Jeffrey – made her ‘angry’.
But last month the star insisted she’s ‘not scared of dying anymore’ following her life-changing brain tumour.
Speaking at Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place Festival at Gunnersby Park Davina explained how it has shifted her perspective on life.
‘I am not afraid of dying anymore and it was the biggest journey of my life from August 2023 to November 2024’, she admitted.
‘I want to help people on their deathbed on my Begin Again podcast now so they can say “I have lived the life I wanted and not think things like “I wish I had not done that job. I wished I had not stayed in this relationship”.
Davina McCall pictured with her partner Michael Douglas
‘Sometimes I feel like there are other powers at play. All the fear that comes around the word “tumour”. Fearne and I understood each other at that time.
‘I mean, it’s a really amazing place to get to, not being scared of dying. I think having no regrets and feeling like you are living fully in the life you want to be in, it’s quite rare.’
Davina has long credited regular exercise and a healthy lifestyle with helping her stay strong – both mentally and physically.
