Protection (ITV1)
Right now, according to a series of stodgy captions that prefaced the police drama Protection, up to 3,000 people in the UK are officially living in secrecy.
All I can say is, if I ever have to go into the witness protection scheme to escape vengeful TV presenters fed up of my mockery, I’ll stay well away from police safe houses. A false beard and sunglasses will be more use.
I might borrow Siobhan Finneran’s blonde wig, too, if she’s finished with it. It’s about the most convincing thing in the opening episode of the six-part series, in which she plays DI Liz Nyles — tasked with keeping a family safe from the organised crime boss who wants them dead.
Liz is so hopeless that the adults were dead before the first ad break, and their 12-year-old daughter, Amy (Tilly Kaye), escaped only by sheltering from the gunmen in a laundry basket. Clever Amy — the basket was such a good hiding place that a police forensics team searched the house and didn’t find her either.
It was only when Liz arrived that the wicker hidey hole was discovered. Maybe she should have bundled the whole family into laundry baskets and covered them with dirty clothes. It might have been their safest bet.
Instead, Amy’s mum, dad and their little dog were dead in pools of blood. At least the dog barked a warning, giving Amy time to hide. That was better protection than anything Liz could manage.
I might borrow Siobhan Finneran’s blonde wig (pictured), too, if she’s finished with it. It’s about the most convincing thing in the opening episode of the six-part series
She plays DI Liz Nyles (left) – tasked with keeping a family safe from the organised crime boss who wants them dead. Pictured: Finneran as Liz with Nadine Marshall as DCI Amanda Kelman
‘Something must have gone wrong with our security protocols,’ said another protection officer, Raj (Chaneil Kular, left, with Katherine Kelly as DCI Hannah Wheatley, right, and Finneran as Liz). He’s a bright lad
Liz hasn’t mentioned it to her boss, or to the detective leading the murder hunt, but it might be her fault that the gangsters were able to find their victims
‘Something must have gone wrong with our security protocols,’ said another protection officer, Raj (Chaneil Kular). He’s a bright lad.
Liz hasn’t mentioned it to her boss, or to the detective leading the murder hunt, but it might be her fault that the gangsters were able to find their victims.
Liz is having an affair with a married colleague, DS Paul Brandice (Barry Ward). On the night before the murders, he told his wife he was going out for a run, and instead nipped round to Liz’s place for a spot of hello-hello-hello. He lay in bed for ages afterwards, chatting. Perhaps his missus thinks he’s training for a marathon.
Wouldn’t you know it, DS Paul is not to be trusted. Next morning, he paid a visit to the safe house, even though he wasn’t supposed to know anything about the family. Minutes later, the hitmen turned up.
Now he’s in hospital with gunshot wounds, and Liz has discovered a folder of photos that prove he’s been following her. She doesn’t mention this to her superiors either. Well, it’s probably not relevant, eh?
In an effort to make Liz more sympathetic, writer Kris Mrksa gives her an irascible dad with dementia. But that doesn’t count for much, weighed against the affair with a married man, the suppression of crucial evidence and the deaths of people she was meant to save.
If I keep watching till the end, it’s only to see whether she goes to prison as she deserves.
Leave a Reply