Christina Applegate is clarifying her recent remarks about how she no longer ‘enjoys living’ amid her battle with multiple sclerosis.
She made the confession on the June 4 episode of her MeSsy podcast as she spoke about struggling with ‘real depression’ and feeling ‘trapped in the darkness’ since being diagnosed with the chronic autoimmune disease in 2021.
‘This is being really honest…I don’t enjoy living. I don’t enjoy it. I don’t enjoy things anymore,’ Applegate, 52, told co-host and fellow MS survivor Jamie-Lynn Sigler, 43.
After sparking fan concern, Applegate felt compelled to clarify her statements on this week’s podcast episode, which was released Tuesday.
She explained that although she struggles with ‘dark thoughts,’ it is ‘healing’ for her to be able to speak honestly about her mental health.
‘I’m going to address something that recently happened … I was talking about some dark stuff that I was thinking and feeling,’ the Married With Children star began.
Christina Applegate is clarifying her recent remarks about how she no longer ‘enjoys living’ amid her battle with multiple sclerosis; seen in January 2023
‘I feel like when we hold things in we give them power. I also think that there’s so much shame a lot of people feel when they’re going through mental health issues … and when people hold those in, because they’re so afraid to say how they truly feel, we give it immense power,’ she explained.
Applegate said it bothered her that people made a ‘big deal’ out of what she said because it perpetuates a stigma around discussions of mental health.
‘By making such a big deal about it you’re making other people think, ‘Oh, s**t, I can’t talk about this,” she explained to listeners. ‘And that is not OK with me. I think it’s important to be able to say these things.
‘And, no, I’m not sitting here on suicide watch, OK? I am not. Nor have I ever been. But f*** do dark thoughts come through my head sometimes when you’re dealing with something that has taken a huge part of you away.’
Applegate continued: ‘I dare anyone to be diagnosed with MS or any kind of chronic illness that has taken who you were prior to that moment and go, ‘This is great.’ You know?
‘No, you have moments of feeling, ‘This is tiring and I don’t want to do this.’ But you do it, and by having friends like [Sigler] and my beautiful friends that I have saying this s**t loud it releases the pressure in the balloon, man.’
Applegate’s co-host Sigler — who was diagnosed with MS back in 2002 when she was just 20-years-old — shared that she, too, has struggled with depression and that the illness has left her feeling like she didn’t want to ‘wake up’ some days.
‘I can promise you, Christina, I have had moments where I have prayed that I didn’t wake up. Where the days just felt so hard. It just felt so daunting. It felt so scary. It felt so overwhelming,’ Sigler admitted.
‘And like you said, it was a moment. It was a moment and they’re very real. And you have to express them and get them out.’
Applegate clarified that it’s not that they don’t want to live anymore but that they ‘pray to not wake up [with MS].’
This sparked concern from fans and Applegate felt compelled to clarify her statements on Tuesday’s episode of her podcast
She explained that although she struggles with ‘dark thoughts,’ it is ‘healing’ for her to be able to speak honestly about her mental health; seen in 2022
Applegate said it bothered her that people made a ‘big deal’ out of what she said because it perpetuates a stigma around discussions of mental health; seen with daughter Sadie Grace in 2023
‘Of course, you want to be there. You know, we have children. We have family. We have loved ones. It’s OK for us to say, “I don’t want to wake up like this,”‘ she continued.
‘This does not serve me. And I want to wake up like how I used to.’
Earlier this month, Applegate described the mental anguish she had been feeling on her podcast, admitting she had been in a ‘real’ depression as she copes with her chronic condition.
Christina admitted she has been in a ‘real, f**k it all’ depression that has begun to scare her.
The episode – which was recorded in early 2024 – also saw Christina reflect on her appearance at the Emmys, which she described as the most challenging day of her life.
‘This is being really honest…I don’t enjoy living. I don’t enjoy it. I don’t enjoy things anymore,’ she admitted.
‘If someone can come over and lay in bed with me and talk, like you have and like a girlfriend of mine did the other day… that’s enjoyable. I enjoy that,’ Christina added. ‘But if someone’s like, ‘let’s get up and go for a walk’ or ‘let’s go get a coffee’, I’m like, I don’t enjoy that process.’
Jamie, 43, who also suffers from multiple sclerosis, advised her friend to avoid comparing her current state to her past: ‘It’s so hard to live in a disabled body. It is so hard. I will not take that away from you and I am right there with you,’ she said.
‘But what makes it harder is when you compare it to how it used to be. I mean I still do it all the time, but in the moments where I have just a little more acceptance.. it takes a little bit of the suffering out of it,’ she continued.
‘Once we get you to this place where we’re accepting that this is how it’s going to be, maybe forever… to me it’s not a reason enough for you to stop living because I sit here across from you and you still make me laugh like nobody else can.
‘You still make me smile. You still make me feel loved.
‘I can’t let you give up. I can’t do it. I need you to do it for me,’ she added. ‘I’m hoping that this podcast will also show you even more of your value and show you yourself how incredibly strong you are and how much you deserve to give yourself a chance,’ Sigler said.
Earlier this month, Applegate described the mental anguish she had been feeling on her podcast, admitting she had been in a ‘real’ depression as she copes with her chronic condition
The episode – which was recorded in early 2024 – also saw Christina, 52, reflect on her appearance at the Emmys , which she described as the most challenging day of her life; pictured
She said she slept for two days following her Emmys appearance
Christina went on to describe the state of her mental health, revealing: ‘I’m in a depression right now, which I don’t think I’ve felt that for years. Like a real, f**k it all depression.
‘Like, real depression, where it’s kind of scaring me too a little bit because it feels really fatalistic. It feels really ‘end of’, you know not saying that, I don’t mean that, I just mean like I’m trapped in like this darkness right now that I haven’t felt like that in I don’t even know how long, probably 20 something years.’
She also called her appearance at the Emmy Awards ‘the hardest day of my life’ and admitted she slept for ‘two days’ following the event.
But Christina is seeking support – she contacted a therapist who she planned on seeing soon.
However, she had long avoided therapy in an attempt to prevent facing the emotions: ‘I have avoided therapy since I’ve been diagnosed because I’m so afraid to start crying and that I’m not going to be able to end crying.’
‘I just am so I’m so afraid for those floodgates to open and that I won’t be able to stop,’ she added.
But Jamie urged her to truly feel her emotions: ‘I feel like you owe it to yourself to cry and really, really go there….You gotta allow yourself to feel that stuff. You can’t keep pushing it away, otherwise you’re gonna be where you’re at right now. You’re like in a purgatory, you know?’
Christina was diagnosed with MS in 2021 while Jamie received her diagnosis at age 20.
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