Cheryl Fergison has revealed she self-harmed for years as she struggled to come to terms with having womb cancer.
The actress, 58, who played Heather Trott on BBC soap EastEnders, revealed back in April she was diagnosed with stage two cancer in 2015 and had a hysterectomy.
Cheryl, who received the all-clear last year, was told to be mindful of any unusual symptoms in case any cancer cells remained but this instruction from her doctors sparked obsessive behaviour.
The soap star revealed she became obsessed with washing herself with scalding water as she wanted to ‘wash away’ cancerous cells.
In a candid interview, Cheryl said it is only since last year that she stopped self-harming.
Cheryl Fergison has revealed she self-harmed for years as she struggled to come to terms with having womb cancer
The actress, 58, who played Heather Trott on BBC soap EastEnders, revealed last month she was diagnosed with stage two cancer in 2015 and had a hysterectomy
‘I hate the word self-harm but I was harming myself,’ Cheryl told Closer Magazine. ‘I was getting hot showers three of four times a week, the hottest I could and aiming it up my vagina thinking I would wash away the cells.
‘I was bleeding. I was sore, they could never put a speculum up me and relations with my husband were hard. I stopped that harm at the end of last year. It’s taken all this time.’
When Cheryl received her diagnosis, her husband Yassine, 38, was away in Morocco dealing with a family bereavement,
The actress decided to keep it a secret from her son Alex, 24, who she had during her first marriage to first marriage to Jamshed Saddiqi, as he was doing exams.
Cheryl said she had ‘never hidden’ anything from her son before, but that cancer ‘affects friends and family’, not just the person.
The actress had a hysterectomy shortly after her diagnosis and said she felt like her chance to have a baby with her husband was ‘taken away from us’.
‘We always said if we were going to have a baby that was our chance and that choice was taken away from us. Psychologically that was hard. I’m 58 now. I ‘ve been blessed and humbled to have my son Alex but my baby-making days are over,’ Cheryl said.
The actress decided to keep it a secret from her son Alex, 24, (right) and her husband Yassine (left) was away when she received the diagnosis
Cheryl received the diagnosis back in 2015, and felt sad that ‘any thought of having a child together had been taken away’
Cheryl kept her health problems private after getting the terrifying diagnosis nine years ago but in April, announced her secret health battle.
She told Ok! Magazine: ‘There were some dark moments, especially at night, when I thought, “Am I going to die? Am I going to leave my husband without a wife, my son without a mum?”
‘But the time is right to talk about it all now. I’m hoping my story might empower other women.
‘I’ve been through a lot but I’m still here. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’
Cheryl received her diagnosis after attending a regular smear test, which came back clear.
But after she started experiencing back pain and spotting blood which she knew wasn’t normal.
She then went to see her GP and she was referred for tests and a biopsy at a local hospital in Kent.
Four months after that she received the news she had stage two womb cancer.
Cheryl has now told how hearing the doctor’s diagnosis was like an ‘out of body experience’.
She said: ‘I was in absolute shock; stunned to the core. I couldn’t believe the doctor was talking about me.’
Following X-rays, Cheryl was also recommended for a full hysterectomy just weeks later.
She told how this hit her hard in case she had wanted to have another child – after her chances of doing so were already reduced due to an early menopause.
The star shared the devastating news with a few pals in the industry at the time, including Dame Barbara Windsor, June Brown, and Steve McFadden.
She also confided in entertainment icons Paul O’Grady and Julian Clary.
Only last year, Cheryl was given the all clear.
Cheryl came to fame playing loveable Heather Trott on EastEnders for five years, before being viciously killed by Ben Mitchell in 2012.
Her character’s death came at the decision of the soap bosses, not Cheryl herself, who previous admitted she burst into tears after being told.
She told Best magazine: ‘It was a bittersweet day. What you get with one hand, you get taken away with another!
‘When they told me Heather was for the chop, (the boss) had to get me a tissue. Sometimes a character is sacrificed to make other stories work. I get it. I knew it was going to come but it was still a shock.’
