Barry Diller: ‘I Was Never Closeted’ About Being Gay

Hollywood mogul Barry Diller, who came out as a gay in his new memoir after decades of marriage to fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg, is now insisting that he was never in fact ‘closeted.’

Diller, 83, who has a net worth of $4.6billion, spilled his juicy showbiz secrets in his autobiography Who Knew, which was published Tuesday.

The former Paramount Boss says in the book he knew he was gay from the age of 11, but his older brother was a drug addict and he did not want to inflict the shame of two ‘broken’ children on his parents. 

His sexuality was an open secret in Hollywood for decades, but the wealthy entrepreneur is just now confirming it for the general masses.

Now in a new interview, he has claimed that the ‘door was always open,’ saying: ‘If I was in a closet, it was made of glass and full of light.’ 

He maintained that he ‘wasn’t ever lying’ and ‘never pretended anything’ but merely ‘never declared,’ according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Hollywood mogul Barry Diller, who came out as a gay in his new memoir after decades of marriage to Diane von Furstenberg, is now insisting that he was never in fact ‘closeted’

The tycoon discussed the ‘casual cruelty’ of hearing a Paramount executive making gay jokes in front of him while he, Diller, was head of the company.

‘I wasn’t closeted – I just never declared,’ he stated, adding that he felt the ‘reaction’ to a viral excerpt of the book in which he came out as gay was ‘wild.’

The 83-year-old billionaire marveled: ‘Suddenly I’m “coming out.” At my age! Diane, my wife, and I laughed about it. It was absurd. The door was always open. If I was in a closet, it was made of glass and full of light.’

Of the responses to the book, he said: ‘People can say what they want. I didn’t want to live a hypocritical life. That was the main thing. So I just lived as I lived. But yes, of course it left a mark. Any minority experience does. That’s universal.’

However he also doubled down on the misgivings he expressed in his memoirs about not having been more candid about his sexuality to the general public.

‘I do wish that I had made a declaration,’ he acknowledged. ‘I wasn’t ever lying. I’ve never pretended anything. I never hid. People in my circle knew about my life with both men and with Diane. The only thing I didn’t do was make a declaration. I chose not to for a lot of complicated reasons.’

Diller said again: ‘I was never hiding. But I didn’t issue a press release either. And yes, there were moments, especially early in my career, when I was aware of how people might react. But in practical terms, it didn’t hold me back.’

Although he never let his sexuality impede him professionally, he observed that the ‘internal part – the shame, the concealment – that leaves a mark,’ which he explained is ‘why I wrote about it’ in the autobiography.

And now he’s giving a glimpse into who exactly he was messing around with decades ago while separated from his wife Diane von Furstenberg in the 1970s

Diller reflected that in this day and age ‘the idea of “coming out” in the old sense – it’s mostly obsolete now. Young people may still struggle, but we’ve come so far. And that momentum can’t be stopped, no matter who’s in office.’

In the book, he gave a a glimpse into who exactly he was messing around with, having revealed his wife was the only woman he could ever love. 

Diller allegedly had liaisons with Michael Bennett, famous Broadway director and choreographer behind A Chorus Line, as well as Johnny Carson’s stepson, according to The New York Times. 

Columnist Maureen Dowd didn’t name the stepson and the book isn’t out for another 10 days. But Carson only had one stepson – Joe Holland – who died of AIDS in 1994. 

Diller’s other lover Michael Bennett was also killed by the disease in 1987 aged just 44.

And, at the time, the lifestyle choice could have ended his career, telling the outlet that it was ‘better to be called a failure than a fairy.’ 

However, that didn’t stop Hollywood from nearly outing him over the years. 

In 1974, he caught wind that People was planning on writing a ‘mean and homophobic’ piece on him. But when it came out, it mainly criticizing his business acumen, leaving the New Yorker relieved at the time. 

Diller allegedly had liaisons with A Chorus Line’s Michael Bennett (pictured) and one of Johnny Carson’s stepson

Twenty years later, while he was working at QVC and was trying to acquire Paramount, a rumor about him having AIDS began circulating. 

When a Times reporter contacted him to ask him about it, he said he was shocked and told the reporter he was fine. 

His friend, Michael Eisner, outed him to Disney executives in 1995, writing in an internal board memo that ‘the fact that he is homosexual should have no weight’ when considering him for the role of CEO of the company, The Times reported. 

It doomed his chances of getting the job, the publication said. 

And throughout his marriage to von Furstenberg, they lived separately – him in the Carlyle hotel on the Upper East Side, her above her business in the Meatpacking District. 

Although he doesn’t reveal which stepson of Carson, The Times revealed both his lovers died of AIDS. Carson had one stepson, Joe Holland (pictured), who died from complications with the disease in 1994. It is unclear if Holland and Diller had sexual relations

The first time he met the ‘deliriously glamorous’ fashion queen von Furstenberg at a super-smart Manhattan dinner party in 1974, she’d rudely brushed the reserved movie man aside to talk to someone else.

As Diller describes it, he was an outsider in her snooty world: ‘I was standing alone next to the fireplace feeling I did not belong in this group when “Prince” Egon von Furstenberg [Diane’s first husband] walked up to me and said, “Your pants are too short.”‘ 

But when he and Diane met again a year later at another fabulous soiree, she was suddenly all over him.

‘I was instantly bathed in such attention and cozy warmth I couldn’t believe it was the same woman I’d been dismissed by a year earlier,’ he recalled. Later… ‘We stood at the door, and I said, “I want to call you,” and she said, “I want you to.”‘ 

But overall, Diller is ready to tell the truth after all these years in his upcoming book. 

‘I wanted to tell the story, and I knew if I told the story, I had to tell the truth,’ he told The Times. 

Diller says he knows most people had guesses his sexuality long before he came out and joked that he was in a brightly-lit, glass closet prior to coming out.

He said not doing so helped him achieve incredible career success – partly because he believes all his anxiety was centered around being outed, which meant he was a decisive and fearless leader.

But Diller says he’s also ashamed he didn’t come out sooner and wishes he could have served as a role model for gays of his generation who felt ashamed of their sexuality.