“Alan Davies: Ex Julia Sawalha Called Him a ‘C***’ After Drunken Row Amid Family Abuse Impact”

Alan Davies has spoken about the impact his father’s abuse has had on his romantic relationships and how his ex-girlfriend Julia Sawalha branded him a ‘c***’ before flying home early from a trip together.

The comedian, 59, who said that he has been told ‘domestic disturbances are common in the lives of abuse victims’, referred to the ‘angry boy’ who would come out as a result of dealing with his past trauma.

Alan admitted he lashed out at strangers while under the influence of alcohol but also argued terribly with Julia, 56, who is best known for playing Saffy Monsoon in the hit sitcom Absolutely Fabulous, during a holiday to Australia. 

Alan and Julia, who co-starred in Jonathan Creek, were involved romantically during 2003 and appeared together at red carpet events, but kept their relationship private.

During an interview with the Telegraph, Alan expressed regret at upsetting Julia during the getaway, where he revealed he had resumed getting ‘blackout drunk’ after a period of abstinence from alcohol.  

He told the publication they argued so severely that she left the country early to fly home but due to his drinking he can’t recall why.

However, he does remember her being on phone to a friend, saying: ‘I’ve come on holiday with a c***.’

Alan is now married to his wife Katie and they share three children, Susie, 15; Bobby, 13; and Francis, nine.

But he admitted that while happy married their relationship has not come without trying times as he recalled a drunken row where he locked her out.

The police were called and he agreed to couples’ counselling. But Alan said he was left terrified that the media would find out and expose the row.

Speaking about how it felt including that information in his memoir, he said: ‘It was a big call, putting that in the book. If our family, our marriage is a train, then that was me driving the whole thing off the track and into a ravine, and the reasons for that are very complex and difficult to comprehend’.

‘There are a lot of people out there driving metaphorical trains and crashing them. Like me, they’ll have got very close to wrecking everything – losing kids they love more than anything.’ 

The focus of the interview was around the abuse he suffered as a child at the hands of his father, where he claimed his own brother ‘stopped speaking’ to him after he had his father arrested for the abuse.

Discussing his traumatic childhood in the interview, he admitted his family would have ‘preferred he didn’t say anything at all’ as he detailed his fractured relationship with his siblings.

Alan was sexually abused by his father between the ages of eight to 13, following the death of his mother from leukaemia when he was six years old.

During his rise to fame he found himself struggling with alcohol and anger as a result of his childhood, but it was only after a therapist helped him come to terms with what had happened that he went to the police eight years ago. 

He has since discussed the abuse and how his childhood led him down a troublesome path in his memoir, Just Ignore Him, which was released in 2020. 

Alan finally reported his father, who is still alive, in 2017, but was told that he wouldn’t be able to stand trial as he was in his eighties, had dementia and was in a care home. 

During an appearance on Lorraine in 2021, he told guest host Cat Deeley that ‘secrets and shame are terrible things to carry for a child’ while discussing his memoir Just Ignore Him, in which the abuse was detailed. 

Alan admitted that he had taken a ‘long time’ to find a way to discuss the ‘difficult’ aspects of his childhood, telling Cat that he wasn’t able to share his story on stage in his stand-up comedy routines. 

The Jonathan Creek star told how he’s had friends share their own experiences of childhood abuse after reading his words, with Alan feeling that this aspect was one of the most ‘important’ things to come from him penning the memoir. 

He explained: ‘It took me a long time to kind of find a forum as it were to talk about the more difficult things in my childhood, I haven’t been able to do it in stand-up comedy, I’ve done it in this book. 

‘Several people, people I know, one or two quite well known people, they’ve come to me and they’ve said “I’ve read your book and a similar thing happened to me” or “similar things happened to me” and then we’ve had a conversation about it as normal as talking about having a cup of tea.’ 

He continued: ‘I feel like that’s the most important thing to come from the book, what I hoped would come from the book was that other people would find someone to speak to. Because secrets and shame are terrible things to carry for a child. 

‘But also, you start carrying them as a child and then you carry them your whole life and they taint everything you do. They taint your whole life experience, all your relationships, everything.’

When asked if writing the book helps in anyway, he responded: ‘It does because recurring thoughts and recurring memories are just there every day. 

‘It took me a couple of years to write this and it felt like kind of extracting something and made something worthwhile, I did the best words that I could.’

Alan’s difficult childhood was made worse by the fact that that he had lost his mum to when he was just six years old, with the physical, emotional and sexual abuse at the hands of his father following. 

During the interview, Alan also spoke warmly about his mother Shirley, who sadly passed away from leukaemia aged 38, with the star suggesting that she may have influenced his future career.

He said of her: ‘She liked to laugh… she got leukaemia, so I was 6 when she died, I don’t have a lot. But I don’t remember being shouted at, I just remember trying to make her laugh or other people making her laugh.

‘I remember once we had someone doing some painting in the house, I must’ve been 3 or 4 and he said “Engelbert Humperdinck”. It was top of the hit parade at the time.

‘And she really laughed at that and I thought “what’s going on?” That didn’t sound like a name so I went “what’s your name?” and he went “Engelbert Humperdinck” again and she laughed again, she was a good audience.

‘I think she was my first audience maybe and her not being around, that’s what part of what made me or pushed me towards being a comedian, maybe I don’t know.’