Country singer Sara Evans has revealed she and husband Jay Barker are back together, over two years after her divorce filing and his arrest for assault.
Evans, 53, revealed they had reconciled and were remaining married on the debut episode of her podcast, Diving Deep with Sara Evans – where she opened up about the incident that led to his arrest in 2022.
Barker, 51, was arrested after he allegedly attempted to strike Evans and her friend with his car, but missed. He was charged with felony aggravated assault with a weapon and ultimately submitted a ‘best interest’ plea for a misdemeanor charge of reckless endangerment.
The arrest also came four months after Evans had filed for divorce from Barker, a radio personality and former pro football player, after 13 years of marriage.
On her podcast, Evans reflected on the night he was arrested, the painful aftermath, and their reconciliation.
Country singer Sara Evans has revealed she and Jay Barker are back together, over two years after her divorce filing and his arrest for assault; pictured 2019
Evans explained that while both she and Barker are now ‘happy’ – she didn’t want to send the message she was ‘advocating’ for others to remain in a bad relationship.
She also revealed they had been struggling in their marriage for some time. Evans also said she learned after their wedding that she was ‘very submissive’ – a trait she says her husband ‘took advantage of.’
Evans referred to the day he was arrested as Barker hitting his ‘rock bottom’.
Their arguments began during lunch, when they got into a fight at a restaurant, and the troubles continued later that evening when Evans and her daughter went to a friend’s house for a bonfire.
Evans – who has daughters Audrey, 19, Olivia, 21, and son Avery, 24, from her previous marriage to Craig Schelske – said: ‘We met for lunch, we got into a fight because what he was hoping for was I would just forgive him like I always had and without us having to do the hard work and go to therapy… He got mad because he wasn’t getting his way,’ she explained.
While at her friend’s home for a bonfire, Evans claimed her ex was sending her numerous text messages citing her as the reason for their marriage ending.
‘That night we went across the street to my friend’s house, we had a big bonfire. It was one of my children, my friend, and her daughter. And we were just having a bonfire and he had just been texting me all night, “Can’t believe you’re doing this to us,”‘ she recalled.
But when the bonfire was over, Evans was frightened to discover Barker was waiting outside for her.
‘So we were leaving the bonfire and he had come over in his truck and was sitting on the side of the street,’ she said.
She opened up about the relationship on the debut episode of her podcast, The Whole Truth
On her podcast, Evans reflected on the night he was arrested, the painful aftermath, and their reconciliation
Barker, 51, was arrested after he allegedly attempted to strike Evans and her friend with his car, but missed. He was charged with felony aggravated assault with a weapon and ultimately submitted a ‘best interest’ plea for a misdemeanor charge of reckless endangerment
‘It really scared me, and it scared all of us, especially my child that was with me,’ she said. ‘So the friend of ours was driving me. We were getting ready to pull into the driveway, and… [Barker] had a verbal altercation with my child, who had never seen that side of him, ever. And it scared the s*** out of her.’
‘Then he jumped in his truck, and he [was] sort of backing up at a very high speed. I knew Jay, so I didn’t feel the same way that my child felt. My child thought he was gonna plow our car down, that he was backing up towards our car, and that she was about to watch something horrific, or at the very least, at the very least, an accident, which would have been his truck hitting my side of the car, where I was in the front seat. She was terrified and called 911.’
‘He sped away and cops came, we were all standing in the foyer of our home, and the cops were questioning.’
‘My child was more upset than I was because I’ve been privately having these experiences with Jay for 13 years of 14 years. It was a first for her, to see her dad, like that,’ she said. ‘Because he was so good to the kids, he loves my children.’
A warrant was issued for his arrest despite Evans’ protestations, and he was ultimately arrested.
Evans and Barker were married for 13 years before she filed for divorce in 2021; pictured 2011
‘I just felt so ashamed and so stupid, and my child was so mad. So mad. Not at me, at Jay. But you know that she was standing there thinking, “He’s about to hit my mom with a truck.” I don’t know how close he got honestly, and I don’t know what it looks like to her. But I heard her scream so loud,’ she said.
She later said: ‘I really did not think that he was trying to hit our car. I think he was trying to back up as fast as he could to see who I was in the car with, to see if I was with another man. And my child thought, “He’s gonna run into them.”‘
She truly believed her marriage was over, and she remained on her couch for the next week with her children.
‘For a week, none of us left the cloud couch. Like we just stayed on the cloud couch. I couldn’t function,’ she said. ‘We immediately turned off all commenting on my Instagram. I didn’t do anything.’
After the news broke, she said: ‘I was just getting call after call after call after call, and I was like, “I cannot believe this is happening to me and my children again. I’ve lost the love of my life,”‘ she explained.
‘To me, he’s just gorgeous, he’s funny, we have so much in common. We feel the same about everything, raising kids, family structures, politics, religion, everything. We just love each other. We’re best friends.’
Then, several months later, Barker sent a text message to Evans that eventually led to their reconciliation.
Nowadays, Evans says her husband is a ‘completely different person’ and she is ‘happier than I’ve ever been’
‘I was on the bus one night, I’m back on the road, and I got a text from Jay…’ she recalled. The message said, ‘Everybody says that I shouldn’t contact you, but you are still my wife.’
The message touched Evans and they opened up a line of communication after.
‘A lot of women will judge me and want to judge me. When he said, ‘But you are still my wife,’ I don’t know. I just melted because I thought, ‘I am still your wife, and we can talk if we want to. We’re both adults,’ she said. ‘So I texted him back and I think I just said something short and sweet like, ‘How are you? I’m on the road’ and we sort of tiptoed back to each other.’
She initially kept their reconciliation to herself but said they had to go to therapy and marriage counseling if they were going to give things a second try.
‘I just did not want to divorce again and start over. I just pictured myself being alone and missing him and thinking, “We could’ve tried harder.” But it took me filing for divorce, I think, for him to realize, “Oh s**t, she’s serious. This is it,”‘ she said.
‘Some people have marriage problems that are like, they fight all the time. We didn’t fight all the time. He fought me. When he was in his low spots, he fought against me, he pushed me away, pushed my love away. So every situation is different. I would never encourage anybody to stay in a dangerous situation.’
He even repaired his relationship with Evan’s daughter.
Nowadays, Evans says her husband is a ‘completely different person’ and she is ‘happier than I’ve ever been.’
People reports that Evans’ and Barker’s divorce was dismissed last February.
