Josh Brolin stripped down to his underwear and took a cold plunge while hosting the newest episode of Saturday Night Live.
The 56-year-old performer – who recently garnered attention for writing a poem for Timothee Chalamet – began the show by speaking about how, the first time he served as a host of Saturday Night Live, Adele was featured as a musical guest.
‘Now she’s a global superstar. The second time I hosted, the musical guest was Gotye, and now he’s just someone that I used to know,’ he quipped.
The performer then made a reference to his role as Thanos in several Marvel Cinematic Universe entries, and stated that the character had ‘a scrotum chin that snapped all the population into dust.’
Brolin also revealed that he wrote poems about all of his costars, and recited one he had penned about his Dune costar.
Josh Brolin stripped down to his underwear and took a cold plunge while hosting the newest episode of Saturday Night Live
The 56-year-old performer – who recently garnered attention for writing a poem for Timothee Chalamet – began the show by speaking about how, the first time he served as a host of Saturday Night Live, Adele was featured as a musical guest
Brolin also revealed that he wrote poems about all of his costars, and recited one he had penned about his Dune costar
He said of the actor: ‘Your cheekbones jut toward what are youth eyes that slide down a prominent nose and on to lips of a certain poetry. I mean, it’s weird, yeah. But I – no, I don’t want to sleep with him.’
After he stated that hosting the program ‘is like jumping into an ice bath, you know. Scary, it’s exhilarating, your penis is in your stomach,’ he then jumped into an ice bath, after which he concluded his opening monologue.
The first sketch of the night took place in a Chase bank, and a robbery started while a couple attempted to deposit a check.
Heidi Gardner’s character then bent over, and Brolin’s asked the robbers if he would have to ‘watch helpless as you have your way with my supple wife?’
Brolin and Gardner’s characters then tie themselves up, and the latter told the robbers: ‘You probably are going to take my chick in the back and lay her on a bed of quarters and make a smut film in the vault. You make me sick.’
Brolin and Gardner then strip down to their underwear, and the former quips: ‘Isn’t it your lucky day? We just opened up our marriage.’
After one of the branch workers encourages the couple to ‘shut up so they can rob us in peace,’ an accomplice of the robbers walked in, and Gardner called him a ‘barely legal Latino.’
Brolin and Gardner’s characters then strip down before the police arrive, and another branch worker shoots down the idea of filming them with the officers.
The first sketch of the night took place in a Chase bank, and a robbery started while a couple attempted to deposit a check
Heidi Gardner’s character then bent over, and Brolin’s asked the robbers if he would have to ‘watch helpless as you have your way with my supple wife?’
Brolin and Gardner’s characters then tie themselves up, and the latter told the robbers: ‘You probably are going to take my chick in the back and lay her on a bed of quarters and make a smut film in the vault. You make me sicK’
Brolin and Gardner’s characters then strip down before the police arrive, and another branch worker shoots down the idea of filming them with the officers
The next skit takes place on a flight to Phoenix, during which a passenger refused to buy a pair of headphones and sang about watching Josh Brolin’s screen for the length of the ride.
The passenger then crooned that, as his ‘Kindle is dead,’ he would have to be ‘raw-dogging this flight.’
Brolin, who was watching the Brad Pitt film Ad Astra, attempted to pause his movie before being stopped by the passenger, and he then sang: ‘His breath is on my neck, I can’t keep watching like this, I go to turn off the movie, his hand grabs my wrist.’
An air marshal portrayed by Kenan Thompson then interrupts the number and belted pout: ‘If your Kindle is dead and you’re raw dogging this flight, then you will watch what he watches, the man to your right.’
The third sketch took place at a ‘people pleasers support group’ and focused on a group of individuals who have become terminally scared of conflict.
When Brolin’s character told everyone that he tried breaking up with his girlfriend, he stated that the split ‘Went really well. I proposed, and we’re getting married. Is that good?’
Another member showed off a tragic haircut and the leader stated that she ‘knew it was bad immediately, but you just watched them do it and then you said I love it, thank you.’
Ariana Grande, who also served as the evening’s musical guest, showed up late to the meeting and stated that she got hit by a car, and I was like, oh, my god, I’m so sorry, car, I hope you’re okay.’
The next skit takes place on a flight to Phoenix, during which a passenger refused to buy a pair of headphones and sang about watching Josh Brolin’s screen for the length of the ride
The passenger then crooned that, as his ‘Kindle is dead,’ he would have to be ‘raw-dogging this flight’
Brolin, who was watching the Brad Pitt film Ad Astra, attempted to pause his movie before being stopped by the passenger, and he then sang: ‘His breath is on my neck, I can’t keep watching like this, I go to turn off the movie, his hand grabs my wrist.’
An air marshal portrayed by Kenan Thompson then interrupts the number and belted pout: ‘If your Kindle is dead and you’re raw dogging this flight, then you will watch what he watches, the man to your right’
The third sketch took place at a ‘people pleasers support group’ and focused on a group of individuals who have become terminally scared of conflict
Another member showed off a tragic haircut and the leader stated that she ‘knew it was bad immediately, but you just watched them do it and then you said I love it, thank you’
Ariana Grande, who also served as the evening’s musical guest, showed up late to the meeting and stated that she got hit by a car, and I was like, oh, my god, I’m so sorry, car, I hope you’re okay’
The meeting ended with a group prayer, during which they recited: ‘God, grant me the serenity to say no, but if you’re too busy with heaven, then no worries. Amen. Or ah-men, whatever you prefer’
She then revealed that she was only staying at her job for health insurance, and although she attempted to roleplay an exit from the company, it completely backfired.
The meeting ended with a group prayer, during which they recited: ‘God, grant me the serenity to say no, but if you’re too busy with heaven, then no worries. Amen. Or ah-men, whatever you prefer.’
The next sketch was set during a wine and cheese night, and a cat named Tiger cuddled up on Brolin’s lap as he spent time with his friends.
The Dune actor’s character then stated that he had been ‘closing down nursing homes and turning them into top golfs’ before turning his attention back to the cat.
After Tiger hopped into another friend’s lap, Brolin told the cat’s owner that his pet was ‘a s***, busting it open for every lap at this lame-a** wine and cheese night.’
The actor’s character then admitted that he had been farting all night and pulled Tiger back into his lap, after which the cat bit into his arm and opened up a sizable wound.
When one of the hosts told him to go a hospital, they pulled knives on each other, after which the sketch concluded.
The fifth sketch took place in Vienna in 1893 at a ball and Kinski, played by Brolin, told his friends he was planning on winning the affections of a duchess with a tower of shrimp cocktails.
The next sketch was set during a wine and cheese night, and a cat named Tiger cuddled up on Brolin’s lap as he spent time with his friends
The Dune actor’s character then stated that he had been ‘closing down nursing homes and turning them into top golfs’ before turning his attention back to the cat
After Tiger hopped into another friend’s lap, Brolin told the cat’s owner that his pet was ‘a s***, busting it open for every lap at this lame-a** wine and cheese night’
The actor’s character then admitted that he had been farting all night and pulled Tiger back into his lap, after which the cat bit into his arm and opened up a sizable wound
When one of the hosts told him to go a hospital, they pulled knives on each other, after which the sketch concluded
The duchess arrived at the party and began to flirt with Kinski, although she began to worry him after she started dancing closely to his arrangement.
Brolin’s character abruptly pushed the duchess out of a window and rationalized his actions by stating: ‘We must protect the shrimp tower at all costs.’
The duchess attempted to climb back in before Kinski hit her in the head with a bottle, and although she barged in looking worse for wear, she stated that she was impressed by the shrimp tower and wanted to marry him.
Kinski celebrated by eating a shrimp by the tail and accidentally knocked over his tower in the process, after which he jumped out of a window while his friends raised a toast to the happy couple.
The sixth routine of the evening took place on a Jerry Springer-esque show, during which a woman revealed her suspicions about her husband’s infidelity.
Although the audience was initially rooting against the husband, it turned out that he was a quadriplegic, after which many of the show’s attendees began leaving the room.
The quadriplegic then revealed that he broke his neck and became wheelchair-bound after performing oral sex on his wife and said that he began losing weight after she stopped feeding him regularly.
The group began discussing a paternity test, and it is then revealed that Brolin’s character is not the father of his wife’s half-Black baby.
The fifth sketch took place in Vienna in 1893 at a ball and Kinski, played by Brolin, told his friends he was planning on winning the affections of a duchess with a tower of shrimp cocktails
The duchess arrived at the party and began to flirt with Kinski, although she began to worry him after she started dancing closely to his arrangement
Brolin’s character abruptly pushed the duchess out of a window and rationalized his actions by stating: ‘We must protect the shrimp tower at all costs’
Kinski celebrated by eating a shrimp by the tail and accidentally knocked over his tower in the process, after which he jumped out of a window while his friends raised a toast to the happy couple
The sixth routine of the evening took place on a Jerry Springer-esque show, during which a woman revealed her suspicions about her husband’s infidelity
Although the audience was initially rooting against the husband, it turned out that he was a quadriplegic, after which many of the show’s attendees began leaving the room
The quadriplegic then revealed that he broke his neck and became wheelchair-bound after performing oral sex on his wife and said that he began losing weight after she stopped feeding him regularly
The group began discussing a paternity test, and it is then revealed that Brolin’s character is not the father of his wife’s half-Black baby
After all the guests left the set of the program, Brolin’s character celebrated by spinning around in his wheelchair.
Grande then took to the stage to perform her new track We Can’t Be Friends (Wait for Your Love), which was featured on her newly-released album Eternal Sunshine.
The 30-year-old singer performed her song on a set designed to look like an old living room, and she began by pretending to change a television channel.
The hitmaker donned a fur coat on top of a black dress during the show, and she also sported a patch on top of her left eye.
The set’s background changed over the length of the song, and Grande finished up in a snowy version of the first set.
A fake PBS special hosted by Ken Burnt was focused on an older version of the 2001 film Moulin Rouge!, and Bowen Yang and Grande began by performing an awkwardly paced medley of love songs.
The melody finished with the happy birthday song, and Burnt stated: ‘They knew they could get the rights to happy birthday, so they fell back on that a lot.’
After Grande’s character coughed up blood into a napkin, Yang commented that the action was ‘movie for dying’ before they started up with another bad medley.
Grande then took to the stage to perform her new track We Can’t Be Friends (Wait for Your Love), which was featured on her newly-released album Eternal Sunshine.
The hitmaker donned a fur coat on top of a black dress during the show, and she also sported a patch on top of her left eye
The set’s background changed over the length of the song, and Grande finished up in a snowy version of the first set
A fake PBS special hosted by Ken Burnt was focused on an older version of the 2001 film Moulin Rouge!, and Bowen Yang and Grande began by performing an awkwardly paced medley of love songs
After Grande’s character coughed up blood into a napkin, Yang commented that the action was ‘movie for dying’ before they started up with another bad medley
Brolin arrived on set and quoted Lady Marmalade before Grande’s character almost died again, although she was instantly revived for another medley.
The next sketch took place in an office building, and a group of workers lamented being stuck in a four-hour meeting before being interrupted by Brolin as ‘Tommy Fling, the sandwich king.’
When the workers shut down his offers to sell them sandwiches, he began staring wistfully into the distance while Billie Eilish’s track What Was I Made For? played in the background.
After the workers let him know that their accounting group would be ordering from an Indian restaurant, a montage of the sandwich maker’s life began playing before it was revealed that Tommy had been singing the song out loud.
Tommy then offered the group sandwiches for free after the pizza they ordered did not show up, although it turned out that his food is covered in mold, and one of the workers appeared to seize up after taking a bite.
Grande then returned to the stage to perform her new track Imperfect For You, which was also featured on Eternal Sunshine.
The Nickelodeon alum had changed into a flowing dress that changed color along with the set of the show.
She also and tied most of her hair back into a loose bun, although much of it fell onto the sides of her face as she performed for her fans.
Grande concluded her second performance of the evening while being surrounded by digital fireflies.
The final sketch of the evening took place in a sports bar, and a group member announced that she had paid for the whole table after they finished their food.
Brolin arrived on set and quoted Lady Marmalade before Grande’s character almost died again, although she was instantly revived for another medley
The next sketch took place in an office building, and a group of workers lamented being stuck in a four-hour meeting before being interrupted by Brolin as ‘Tommy Fling, the sandwich king’
When the workers shut down his offers to sell them sandwiches, he began staring wistfully into the distance while Billie Eilish’s track What Was I Made For? played in the background
After the workers let him know that their accounting group would be ordering from an Indian restaurant, a montage of the sandwich maker’s life began playing before it was revealed that Tommy had been singing the song out loud
Tommy then offered the group sandwiches for free after the pizza they ordered did not show up, although it turned out that his food is covered in mold, and one of the workers appeared to seize up after taking a bite
The final sketch of the evening took place in a sports bar, and a group member announced that she had paid for the whole table after they finished their food
She then realized that she had tipped on top of an automatic gratuity and began attempting to erase the markings on her receipt, violently shaking the group’s table in the process
The character also made several references to sleeping with Brolin and admitted: ‘I just ate 32 habanero wings. I’m not riding you’
The episode ended when Brolin hugged Grande and special guest Scarlett Johansson, who appeared in the program’s cold open, and thanked Lorne Michaels for making Saturday Night Live into ‘the greatest show on earth’
She then realized that she had tipped on top of an automatic gratuity and began attempting to erase the markings on her receipt, violently shaking the group’s table in the process.
The character also made several references to sleeping with Brolin and admitted: ‘I just ate 32 habanero wings. I’m not riding you.’
A waiter then made it to to their table and told them to leave, as one of the members of the group had been stealing soap from the restaurant’s bathroom.
The episode ended when Brolin hugged Grande and special guest Scarlett Johansson, who appeared in the program’s cold open, and thanked Lorne Michaels for making Saturday Night Live into ‘the greatest show on earth.’
