Courtney Stodden has posed topless for an Instagram post.
The 30-year-old reality TV star had her blonde hair down over her chest as she wore nothing but a gold Van Cleef & Arpels necklace.
The star – who weighs 109lbs these days – said she has been sober for 43 days so far.
‘Last Days of 30… and My First Birthday Sober Since 17,’ she began her Instagram caption. She turns 31-years-old on Thursday.
‘I don’t know how to put into words what I feel tonight… The last days of being 30 have been quiet and heavy. I catch myself in the mirror and wonder if anyone truly sees me.
‘I’ve spent years learning to be strong… to smile… to perform… and yet some nights I feel invisible ✨ Please 31… be gentle. God, guide me back to the part of myself that still feels alive.’
Courtney Stodden has posed topless for an Instagram post. The 30-year-old reality TV star had her blonde hair down over her chest as she wore nothing but a gold necklace
The pinup added: ‘Day 43 without alcohol. I try to be proud… I try to be grateful… and I am… even when it doesn’t fill all the spaces inside,’ added the icon.
‘Women like me are always seen through contradictions… strong yet fragile… celebrated yet misunderstood… I hold all of myself… even the messy, tender pieces.’
Stodden then said that she trusts the God has her back.
‘Perhaps this year I will carve out a place where I belong/ For now… this is my truth… the rest… I leave beneath the surface #birthdayweek.’
The pinup – who resembles Marilyn Monroe – shared a note earlier this month about her traumatic past as a teen bride.
‘Everything I thought would ruin me ended up making me stronger,’ began the wife of movie producer Jared Safier.
‘Trauma became my greatest teacher, and my “why” pushes me past bitterness into peace. I forgive not for anyone else, but for myself because pain can be a superpower if you let it. What’s the most powerful thing your pain taught you?’
Stodden showed off her thinner frame in a sheet earlier this month
Earlier this month the actress told the Daily Mail that her ‘body, mind, spirit’ are better off without the booze as she feels more like herself.
‘I am healing from past trauma,’ added the blonde beauty who is married to movie producer Jared Safier. ‘It’s my sober journey for my overall health. I used alcohol to deal with pain, but all it did was make things more difficult.’
Stodden also said she feels ‘calm’ after leaving the champagne – her choice was Veuve Clicquot – behind to have more ‘clarity’ over her life.
The star also showed off her weight loss while in ruby red lingerie which she compared to her more fuller figure in a blue swimsuit weeks ago.
In one image she was seen barefoot on her scale which showed she is 109lbs.
This comes after she talked about how her much-older first husband Doug Hutchison – a 65-year-old actor whom she calls her former ‘groomer’ – got her started on drinking alcohol when she was very young.
The Washington native said he would drink ‘bottle and bottles of alcohol’ a day and pushed her to drink too so he could ‘control’ her.
She has told DailyMail.com that tying the knot with 65-year-old A Time To Kill actor Doug Hutchinson was a bad move and she won’t pretend otherwise; seen with Doug in 2013
But these days Stodden does not want to feel ‘out of control,’ so she is staying away from the booze even if the journey is challenging.
The cover girl also noted that many of her friends are not happy that she has decided to be sober as they won’t know what to do with ‘healthy’ Stodden, but she will stick with her plan no matter what and won’t take up drinking again just to please her pals.
‘If people don’t get it, then maybe they shouldn’t be around,’ said Stodden who wore a beige bra with two Van Cleef & Arpels necklaces.
The caption read: ‘The painful truth.’
