Is nobody going to say the bloody obvious about Ellidy Pullin? We fell in love with her story – now a bitter truth stares us in the face: AMANDA GOFF

Writing this column is no easy task.

I’m going to say something that many believe should be left unsaid. With kindness and empathy, I’m going to suggest a rewrite of a story that has inspired millions but now risks ending in unnecessary tragedy.

It’s a story of grief, love, family and finding inspiration after unthinkable loss. It’s also a story that feels deeply personal for many, because we have followed it for so long.

It’s the story of Alex ‘Chumpy’ Pullin – the champion snowboarder who, after his death in a freak accident at age 32, miraculously became a father when his girlfriend, Ellidy, posthumously harvested his sperm and conceived their child via IVF.

It made news everywhere, with Ellidy becoming something close to Australia’s sweetheart as she went on to raise their daughter Minnie, now four, as a single mother, start a charitable foundation in Chumpy’s honour, and eventually find love again with new boyfriend Brock Wadsworth.

When dealing with a saga as profoundly sensitive as this, I’m aware of the importance of not placing blame or making accusations.

But in my view, one thing is abundantly clear: Chumpy’s story was never meant to end like this. 

This week, the Daily Mail published an exclusive interview with Chumpy’s father Chris Pullin, who painted a tragic picture of his life today, following the deaths of his son and wife Sally, who lost her battle with a rare and aggressive blood cancer last year.

He spoke of his rift with Ellidy – stemming from disagreements over the shifting focus of the foundation bearing his late son’s name – which led to him becoming estranged from his only grandchild.

In the span of a few years, he lost his son, wife and granddaughter. He spent Christmas mostly alone, at his home in Eden, on the NSW South Coast.

Before I delve into the tragic end of this story, let’s start at the beginning. 

It began on July 8, 2020, when Chumpy drowned in a freak spearfishing accident on the Gold Coast. He was just 32. Ellidy, his partner of eight years, was ‘overwhelmed with sorrow’, she said, especially because they had been trying for a baby.

She acted fast. In the hours after Chumpy’s death, Ellidy asked doctors to retrieve his sperm so she could have the baby they’d longed for via IVF. 

‘I just knew in my heart it’s what Chumpy would have wanted,’ she later said.

And with the full support of his devastated parents Chris and Sally – which was required by law because Ellidy and Chumpy never married – that’s what happened.

She went on to welcome the beautiful Minnie, Chumpy’s daughter whom he never got to meet but whose birth was a beacon of hope in the face of unfathomable tragedy.

How could we not feel overjoyed? I certainly did.

That’s why seeing this unravel into a public feud is so heartbreaking.

And what has unfolded in the last week was like a bolt out of the blue; I didn’t see it coming – or perhaps I didn’t want to, even though the signs of discord were there, scattered in Reddit threads and gossip forums. ‘What happened to Chumpy’s dad?’

The origin of their rift is now widely known, after Chris opted to break his silence.

In Chumpy’s memory, Ellidy had launched the Chumpy Pullin Foundation to support underprivileged youth into traditionally expensive winter sports – a cause close to Chumpy’s heart as skiing and snowboarding are often out of reach for many families.

As a sporting nation, naturally we cheered. It was exactly what Australia needed: a chance for overlooked kids to pursue their sporting dreams.

But over time, the foundation pivoted its focus from sport to mental health. Ellidy did nothing wrong here, but the pivot upset Chumpy’s dad Chris. It strayed from Chumpy’s passion for helping to get kids on the slopes, he said.

It also inadvertently raised questions about Chumpy’s passing.

Chris said he’d been asked no less than four times if Chumpy died by suicide since the charity shifted its focus to mental health. Understandably this upset him and wife Sally, who died in April last year.

Personally, I share his confusion. In its early years, the foundation had its eye on clear, commendable goals, like building accommodation in Jindabyne to give young athletes access to the ski fields of Thredbo. Why change course?

I’m going to be brutally honest here – and I know this will ruffle feathers: we really don’t need another mental health charity.

It’s no secret I have bipolar, a chronic mental health disorder that I manage, yet as someone who has used the services of The Black Dog Foundation, let me tell you this: there’s no shortage of those kinds of organisations in Australia.

We have mental health services coming out of our ears. In recent years, it’s become a hot topic – as it rightly should – but now support is everywhere – online and face to face. Today, seeking mental health support is as simple as making an appointment with your GP, calling a helpline or reaching out to any number of charities.

So if Chumpy – an Olympic snowboarder with a passion for making sport equitable – died from an accident, what does mental health have to do with it? Make it make sense.

No wonder his parents were angry. I would be ropeable.

The foundation closed its doors in December 2024, but not before Chris sent an email to its board saying it was ‘not fulfilling its claim of upholding Chumpy’s ideals’.

More was said – and you can read the full story here – but Ellidy’s alleged response, or lack thereof, was clear: Chris claims she ‘blocked’ both him and his now-late wife after he questioned the charity’s change of purpose.

He also says she posted a gushing social media tribute to Sally after her death – despite having not seen her for many months before she passed.

Now, I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, or what kind of relationship Chumpy’s parents had with Ellidy before and after their son’s death. Grief can change people. It can make us behave in ways we usually wouldn’t.

And I am certainly not saying Ellidy is the bad guy here. I acknowledge her pain and grief just as much as I do Chris’s. I expect she will share her side of the story too, when she is ready. 

But Ellidy, if you’re reading this, here’s what I’ve learned in life: choosing grace can be easier on the heart than holding onto hurt.

And at the centre of this all is a little girl who risks growing up without a grandfather who clearly misses her.

Yes, some relationships are unsalvageable. Sometimes we have no choice but to choose peace and cut ourselves off from people who make us miserable.

But are you absolutely sure that’s the case here? There is a middle ground – which many of us tread – of maintaining relationships because it’s the right thing to do, even if they can be challenging at times. 

Say, for argument’s sake, that Chumpy’s dad has made mistakes or said things out of anger. It doesn’t change the fact that without his legal consent – which he gave in the hours after losing his own son – you might not have a child to tuck into bed at night.

Ellidy, as someone who has endured fractured family relationships, please reconsider.

For the sake of Minnie, don’t let your pain become her loss. Minnie was born partly because her grandparents saw your deep love for Chumpy and knew that allowing you to have his child was the right decision.

That baby is now a child who risks growing up not knowing her grandfather.

I saw your Instagram post yesterday – you stroking Minnie’s hair, calling her ‘the greatest gift in the world’ and saying ‘I will protect you at all costs’ – and wondered what you might possibly think you’re protecting her from. A loving, lonely grandfather?

Ultimately, it’s your life to lead and I don’t expect to convince you to change your mind. So I’ll leave you with the question many Australians are asking this week: is this what Chumpy would have wanted?

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