Chris Tarrant: My Close Encounter with a Bear After a Vodka Bender

The first time Chris Tarrant was nearly killed by a bear he had a terrible hangover.

‘We were fishing for salmon in the wilds of Russia. We drank vodka the night before, then ate vodka jelly,’ says the broadcasting legend. ‘It’s like normal jelly but set in pure Russian vodka. We had a lot of that.’

The day was hot – Chris and his fishing friends were wearing waders and carrying a lot of gear, so he disobeyed orders and lagged behind.

‘I lay down and fell asleep by a path in the woods. I woke up to find a huge Russian brown bear standing over me, looking down like he was thinking: “What is that stupid English creature doing? Shall I eat him? Or shall I find the salmon?” Chris was terrified and froze, but luckily the bear chose the fish. ‘He just wandered off.’

The guide then reappeared to warn him that there was a very big, very aggressive bear somewhere in the vicinity and a shaken Chris confessed.

‘The guide was very angry and shouted at me: “You are a stupid!”‘ He imitates the Russian guide’s voice and fury, then laughs. ‘He was right. And I’ve never been on the vodka jelly since.’

A longer version of this story appears in his upcoming book For The Love Of Bears, based on expeditions he has taken to Russia, Alaska, Canada and Scandinavia.

These are the kinds of trips you can afford when you’ve made a fortune from hosting popular radio and television programmes, from the anarchic 70s kids series Tiswas to his long-running Capital Radio breakfast show to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? – the most successful quiz show in British history, of which he was the original host. 

Chris Tarrant’s new book, For The Love Of Bears, is full of grisly tales and blood-curdling facts about how uncuddly the animals can be

Chris has also been a shrewd investor in stocks and shares. His divorce from his second wife Ingrid in 2007 led to an out-of-court settlement reportedly worth £12.5 million, which would suggest he was worth at least twice that at the time. He was said to be earning £4 million a year at his peak, but this genial 78-year-old announced his retirement from television at the end of last year. ‘I’d just had enough.’

More about that in a moment, but first For The Love Of Bears. Alongside the superb photographs and pleas for conservation, the book is full of grisly tales and blood-curdling facts about how uncuddly these animals can be. ‘They can kill you in seconds,’ Chris says. ‘It doesn’t happen very often but it is a horrible way to go.’

The scariest of his own stories is from Norway, where he and a film crew were out on the water. ‘We pottered around taking shots of pretty scenery when suddenly I went, “Bloody hell!” This enormous polar bear came down a slope of snow. It was beautiful. Proper snow white.’

Somehow Chris managed to whisper narration for the camera, having taken a chance on financing his own documentary. ‘The polar bear slipped into the water and started to swim, a very graceful breast stroke. Five or six yards away from us.

It swam across the front of our little inflatable and just stopped. There was silence, then this incredible snort that echoed for miles. It was a threat. The bear was saying, “Back off!” It got to the far side of the water, climbed out and shook itself dry like a giant dog.’ They were all trembling. ‘Then we got another shock.’

One of their paddles hit the bottom. ‘The water was shallow,’ Chris says. ‘No more than three feet. That bear could have stood up at any time, towered over us and smashed us, killed us outright. It could have swatted the whole boat easily. Nobody could have saved us.’

Chris has just climbed out of the bear suit he wore for our photo shoot. The blond mop of old is white, but the tan remains. He’s matey, blokey and enthusiastic in a way that will be very familiar to anyone who has seen him on screen.

So what does his partner Jane Bird think of his extremely dangerous pursuits? ‘Silly old fool, but he’s got to do it.’

‘She leaves me to it,’ he says. ‘I have never told her about some of the things that have happened that are in this book.’

Why bears, though? ‘They were always my favourite animal when I went to the zoo.’ Their living conditions troubled him, though. ‘They were the animals that seemed the most unhappy being in a zoo. Even at the age of ten I thought: “This is awful.” The polar bear’s coat was all dirty and his teeth were bad. The grizzlies and black bears circled around all day, looking cheesed off.’

TV legend Tarrant recalls visiting the zoo in his youth and being in awe of the ‘most beautiful animals on the planet’

A lifetime of fascination was inspired by a moment of connection. ‘One summer we went to the zoo twice. The first time, a bear came across and looked at me, then, when I went back later, he did it again, as if he remembered. I thought: “He knows me, how cool is this?” They’re very bright.’

Unsurprisingly, he believes bears are precious. ‘They are one of the most beautiful animals on the planet. If you show them respect and don’t hunt or trap or poison them, they should stay around.’

Yet, incredibly, some wealthy people still kill them for fun. ‘Everybody thinks they’re all Yanks but there’s loads of British hunters,’ Chris says. ‘Surely we shouldn’t still be shooting lions or bears and bringing their heads back.’

What would he do if a trophy hunter was in the room? ‘I’d punch him on the nose. I hope they get shot and put over somebody’s mantelpiece. It’s despicable.’

But he had a gun for self-protection on the Norway trip. Had a huge polar bear come straight at him, would he have fired? ‘If he got that close you’d have to, because otherwise it would kill you.’

Chris left Millionaire in 2014. He’s worked on other shows since, but that’s all behind him now. ‘Fifty-two years is a long time on air. I loved what I did. I had a really good time. But I went to the funerals of five really good mates, who were about the same age as me, and I thought, ‘I don’t know how long I’ve got left in life, but I don’t want to spend it locked away in a studio.’

One of those mates was the late, great Sir Terry Wogan. ‘We were part of the Lord’s Taverners cricket charity together and went to a lot of dinners. He did like a drink and I like a drink,’ says Chris. ‘One night we were at an event at the Savoy Hotel when midnight came around. We were both getting up really early the next morning to do breakfast shows, but like naughty boys we said: “We’ll just have one more drink.” We left that bar about three.’

Chris was driven home, but barely had time to sleep. ‘You’ll know that thing where you put your head down and the alarm goes off straight away. You think: “No! It can’t be!” Must have been 5am. My driver Jim was outside and I was feeling like death.’ He made it to the Capital studio. ‘God knows what I talked about, I was in a real state. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that across London an older man on air for Radio 2 would be feeling a lot worse.’

Tarrant has gotten up close and personal with bears in the wild more than once since his retirement from television

Next time they met, ‘I said: “How were you the morning after?” My bloody head! My tongue was furry, I was all over the place.’ Terry smiled mischievously and said he had not actually got up until about midday that day. Chris imitates Terry’s soft Irish brogue: ‘Didn’t I tell ya? I had the week off!’ He chortles happily. ‘Terry stitched me up!’

Chris was forced to reconsider his work-life balance after a mini stroke on a plane in 2014. ‘I had a lucky escape. I can chat to you now, this is all working,’ he says, looking down at his body, ‘But I did have to have speech therapy. It took a while to get everything back. It was scary.’

So does he spend eight hours a day in the gym now? ‘Christ no! Eight hours in the pub more like!’ That’s a joke. ‘I have changed my habits. I cut out whisky, because I didn’t think drinking that was a very good idea. I still drink wine. Jane’s got me on quite a healthy diet, but I do break free occasionally.’

How does he keep fit? ‘I walk a lot. I’ve got 40 acres of land and woods. I’m not a gardener, but I do quite a lot of cutting things down.’ He and Jane live in the village of Bucklebury, Berkshire, where the Princess of Wales grew up. But retirement meant they could flee to the Caribbean for six weeks in the winter (hence the tan).

‘The kids would ring and tell us how freezing cold it was at home and we’d go: “Bless you. We’re going to the beach.” When we returned in the middle of February, I picked up the post and saw the house was all right then went: “Why are we here?” Jane went: “I don’t know, let’s go back.” So we went straight back to the Caribbean for another three weeks. That’s the joy of being retired.’

Chris has four children and two stepchildren, two of whom have followed him into radio presenting. Toby has a show on Radio X, while Fia is on Heart. With all the hostile talk about nepo babies these days, is it an advantage having the name Tarrant in radio? ‘I’m not sure. Toby got a bit of that when he started, all about having a silver spoon in his mouth,’ Chris says. ‘It’s not true. I didn’t help him. I advised him a bit, but now he’s his own guy, he doesn’t need me. With both of them I said: “What about changing the name?” They said: “What are we going to call ourselves?”‘

Toby Tarrant, son of Chris, says he was accused of ‘having a silver spoon in his mouth’ when starting out on his broadcasting career. He is now a Radio X host

As for himself, could no offer tempt him back to telly? ‘Nothing. I did four fishing films for Channel 5 and hated it. The crew didn’t fish so they would say things like: “What time will you catch the first salmon?” I’d say: “I don’t know!”

‘I’m glad I’ve stopped. When I started, the quality of light entertainment was very good: Cilla Black, Michael Aspel, Michael Parkinson, Michael Barrymore at his peak, Des Lynam. They don’t have that sort of star quality now. Ant and Dec are brilliant, but there is very little else.’

Has he watched his replacement, Jeremy Clarkson, on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? ‘No. We get on fine, we meet once in a blue moon and chat, but I don’t watch game shows. I did one for 15 years, I’m not interested. I watch Netflix and sport.’

His breakthrough show, Tiswas, was a loose, wildly unpredictable live show in which celebrities were pelted with custard and foam and nobody knew what was going to happen or be said next. ‘You couldn’t do that now, you’d get cancelled,’ he says.

Now he’s done with telly, his next project will be a book about going on safari, getting close to animals just as dangerous as his beloved bears. But he won’t be going near vodka, even as a jelly. ‘I’m not stupid. I don’t want to die. I’ve had such a good life and I want to have some more yet!’

For The Love Of Bears by Chris Tarrant will be published by Great Northern Books on July 11, £25