Kelsey Parker has revealed that she feels ‘anxious’ going out to events in London and often struggles to digest other people’s ‘sadness’ for her after the tragic loss of her third child.
The TV star, whose husband Tom Parker died of glioblastoma in March 2022, aged 33, suffered further heartbreak in June when her unborn baby – her first with boyfriend Will Lindsay – was stillborn.
And Kelsey, who is a mother to Aurelia, five, and Bodhi, four, shared her feelings with fans on Instagram on Friday as she headed off to Claridge’s Hotel in London for a Christmas event.
In a video, she said: ‘I do feel like since losing Phoenix though, going out to London and doing things like this, not that I have anxiety because I don’t want to claim that I’ve got anxiety, because I don’t have anxiety.
‘I don’t know what the word is, because it’s not even worry, I don’t know what the word is, I feel a little bit anxious about going out. Not that I don’t have the energy, it’s almost like, do you know when you could say no, I could just be like, I could talk myself out of going.
‘Which, I’m trying not to do, because I need to go out and I need to do things because it’s really good for me.
Kelsey Parker has revealed that she feels ‘anxious’ going out to events in London and often struggles to digest other people’s ‘sadness’ for her after the tragic loss of her third child
The baby, whom she named Phoenix, was her first child with boyfriend Will Lindsay. Kelsey’s husband, Tom Parker, died in March 2022 from glioblastoma – they share children Aurelia, five, and Bodhi, four
‘But this is a message for people that are doing that to themselves. Try and say yes to everything and go. Because I do feel like we’re fed a bit of a narrative that it’s like “just say no,” but maybe just say yes.’
She continued: ‘I think also for me what the problem is, is I know how deeply sorry people are for me, and I think I don’t take well to sadness, I think I find it hard to digest from other people’s sadness for me.
‘Obviously, even people coming up to me after Aurelia sang, they were like “Oh, we cried”, because I think people in the back of their minds are thinking “Oh, she’s had so much loss in her little life of you know, six years of being here, she’s gone through so much.
‘And I think that’s my thought about going out, that I know people feel deeply sorry and sad for me, and I can feel that energy, and then I probably overcompensate, and I’m like “I’m fine”, which I’m not going to do, I’m not going to do that guys.’
In June, Kelsey took to Instagram to share her heartbreaking news about her third child, who died one week before his planned due date.
Breaking the news in a poem, she wrote: ‘The world grew quiet as you arrived, So loved, so longed for, yet not alive. Our precious boy, our angel light, Born with wings, took silent flight
‘We named you Phoenix, brave and bright. A soul of love, of warmth and light Though we never heard you cry, You’ll live in hearts that won’t ask why.
‘No breath you drew, no eyes to see, Still, you mean everything to me. You’ll journey with us, softly near, in every sigh, in every tear.
Uploading a video to Instagram on Friday as she headed off to Claridge’s Hotel in London for a Christmas event, Kelsey shared her feelings with fans, admitting she could easily talk herself out of going to events
She said: ‘I do feel like since losing Phoenix though, going out to London and doing things like this, not that I have anxiety because I don’t want to claim that I’ve got anxiety, because I don’t have anxiety’
She continued: ‘I don’t know what the word is, because it’s not even worry, I don’t know what the word is, I feel a little bit anxious about going out. Not that I don’t have the energy, it’s almost like, do you know when you could say no, I could just be like, I could talk myself out of going’
She added: ‘I think also for me what the problem is, is I know how deeply sorry people are for me, and I think I don’t take well to sadness, I think I find it hard to digest from other people’s sadness for me’
Taking to her Instagram stories: she added: ‘Before I receive an influx of lovely messages and heartfelt wishes, I wanted to just say that I truly appreciate everything you are all going to say and share.
‘But with the news being so raw, I would really like to ensure that we as a family are given space and time to process this devastating and earth-shattering news.
‘I love you all and thank you for your understanding and space. Love always, Kelsey, Will, and the Parker Family.’
Kelsey was left devastated after her husband Tom lost his battle with brain cancer, but found love again last year, meeting Kent tree surgeon Will on a night out and announcing their romance in September.
The podcaster later admitted to being targeted by online trolls for moving on with her new partner.
Speaking on ITV’s Lorraine, in their first joint interview together in March, she explained: ‘It’s been three years, this is Tom’s three-year anniversary of his death, and it’s almost like people want me to feel guilty for moving on.’
In June, Kelsey took to Instagram to tell her followers that her baby Phoenix had died
Kelsey pictured with Tom who lost his battle with cancer
She added: ‘I’m always going to have guilt, but what’s so hard is that Tom’s not here anymore, so what do people want me to do?’,
‘Our house was full of so much sadness, but now it’s full of happiness. The kids deserve that more than anything.
‘They’ve been through so much, I feel like we are taking the steps forward to heal, but I just want other women to feel like it’s OK to move on, it’s not taking anything away from the love I had for Tom.’
If you have been affected by anything in this article, please contact The Lullaby Trust on 0808 8026868.
