Well, the secret’s out.
After slogging through nine excruciating episodes of Nine’s Golden Bachelor, Barry ‘Beige’ Myrden – sorry, Bear – finally picked his leading lady: the giggly, gorgeous and undeniably sexy Sunny Long.
Quite an upset, really: the hot favourite all along was Pilates teacher Janette Bendle.
Instead of walking off into the sunset with Bear, Janette was left windswept and ringless, confessing through tears that she was ‘blindsided’ by his decision.
They always are. I never am.
Hate to say I told you so, but I called Sunny – a 58-year-old powerhouse CEO and mother of two from South Korea – as the winner long before Bear made his decision.
After slogging through nine excruciating episodes of The Golden Bachelor, Bear finally picked his leading lady: the giggly, gorgeous and undeniably sexy Sunny Long (seen on Monday)
It was obvious to me that Janette Bendle (pictured on Monday) was destined to be runner-up after Sunny had made it clear she was ‘very sexually active’
Why? Because Sunny told Bear she liked sex. She didn’t shout it from the rooftops – she’s too classy for that – but she made sure Bear heard.
The moment Sunny hinted she was ‘very sexually active’, I knew the crown was hers. Game, set, match. And this was weeks ago.
She played the ‘sex’ line cleverly – not vulgar, just a deft nudge – and Bear’s eyes lit up accordingly. At that point, the ring was in the bag.
It didn’t matter that Janette was grounded, guarded, composed – lovely, even. Men pick sexy over sensible.
Every. Single Time.
And Sunny is no fool. Smart, savvy, completely switched-on – she knew precisely what Bear wanted to hear.
The way to a man’s heart might be through his stomach, but come on – a shortcut goes straight through his trousers.
If there’s one lesson from my former life as Samantha X, it’s this: throw sex into the mix and blokes are utterly hopeless. They simply can’t help themselves.
Even the way Sunny kissed Bear in the finale – her leg coquettishly raised, nudging into his thigh – was suggestive yet tasteful enough for prime time
As I wrote in my first book, Hooked: ‘When it comes to women and sex, men are like puppies. It’s hard to be angry at them.’
Men can show remarkable discipline in most aspects of their lives, but when it comes to sexual chemistry? They’re powerless.
I know exactly what men want – even blokes in their sixties like Bear. It’s not safety or slippers; it’s excitement, sex and proof they’ve still got it.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore Sunny – she is, in every sense, sunny: cute, giggly, whip-smart, successful. She’s an Energizer Bunny outside the bedroom – and made it clear Bear could expect the same inside it.
When it came down to the wire, Sunny used the final dinner party to determine her and Bear’s sexual compatibility. All his Christmases arrived at once.
‘I asked questions… everything I want[ed] to know about,’ she explained. ‘I was like, “Okay, now let’s find out what our chemistry is like. What do you think about sex?”‘
I mean, of course Bear picked her in the end. He chose using his primal instinct – desire. That doesn’t make it wrong, just don’t pretend it wasn’t the clincher.
It helps that Sunny actually loves sex and this wasn’t just a performance for Bear’s benefit. She made this abundantly clear in an interview with Refinery29, saying that sex shouldn’t be taboo just because you’re over 50.
‘Sex is a part of a lot of people’s lives, so I think it’s important to normalise talking openly about it, especially as an older woman, as it can be seen as taboo. Life doesn’t end when you’re [in your] 50s or 60s.’
So, will it last? A look in the rearview tells us it could go either way.
Remember 2016? Sweet, simple Richie Strahan seemed destined to choose nice Nikki. Then, out of nowhere, he picked sexy single mum Alex.
The hot favourite all along was Pilates teacher Janette Bendle, but I knew she wasn’t going to win – and deep down, she knew she wouldn’t either
Can we drop the faux outrage over Bear not picking Janette? Every bloke who half-watched the show with his wife knows precisely why old mate chose Sunny
Did that work out? It did not.
Then again, leaving the sexy one heartbroken isn’t always the right path either.
Take Dr Matt Agnew: the bespectacled astrophysicist was looking for emotional depth and ended up with wholesome chemist Chelsie.
In doing so, he snubbed none other than Abbie Chatfield, who wielded her sex appeal then – as now – with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
And still – no fairytale ending. Matt and Chelsie split within months. Sometimes you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Men claim to want ‘nice, sensible, safe’ in a wife. And yes, plenty marry these women. But inevitably, their eyes wander – to those who spark desire, prick their interest and offer real chemistry.
As they age, men gravitate to women who make them feel youthful again. Sometimes it’s a younger woman, but not always.
And Sunny the sparkplug ticked all the boxes for a randy silver fox like Bear.
Here’s the brutal reality: women today can dress for themselves, have careers and chase their own destinies. But let’s not kid ourselves: when it comes to male attraction, men want ultra-feminine and sparkly – and Sunny had that in spades.
Yes, she’s smart and successful – but crucially she wanted sex and wasn’t shy about telling him. Bear is only a man.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying Janette wasn’t sexy. She was beautiful, sensual – but guarded. She seemed like more of a challenge. Contrary to myth, men don’t always want that.
Sunny, on the other hand, radiated that effortless sexual energy that hypnotises men and rather intimidates other women.
Even the way she kissed him in the finale – her leg coquettishly raised, nudging into his thigh – was suggestive yet tasteful enough for prime time.
If Janette whispered comfort, Sunny shouted chemistry. And let’s be real -chemistry wins.
That’s why, dear reader, Sunny’s the one sporting the ring – while poor Janette never saw it coming.
As far as I’m aware, they are still together after dating in secret for seven months.
Now the secret’s out, Bear claims she was ‘always top of the list’. I believe him – and I know exactly why.
Don’t call me cynical for pointing out that their love was forged in the fires of pure physical chemistry. Honestly, as a woman of 51, I find it rather hopeful that two people in their golden years are still prioritising sex appeal.
With any luck, my own sixties will be half as fun.
So can we drop the faux outrage over Bear not picking Janette? Every bloke who half-watched the show with his wife knows precisely why old mate chose Sunny.
He may have hammed up the agony of his final decision, but I doubt he was ever truly torn. In truth, I don’t think it was a hard decision at all.
The moment sex entered the equation, the game was over.
For all the TV myth-making, Bear – the softly spoken Canadian widower who just loves his sons – is a man, plain and simple.
And what do men do? They choose the sexy pocket rocket, every time.
So here’s to Bear and Sunny – may the spark last long after the cameras stop rolling.
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