Kristin Cavallari got real about the vicious thought loop that tells her she is ‘fat’ – and the insecurities with her body she faced that even infiltrated the filming of Laguna Beach.Â
While the star has flat abs and the type of body she has long dreamed of, Cavallari still battles an inner voice telling her she is anything but.Â
The insecurities began in her childhood, when Cavallari, 38, felt she was ‘kind of fat’.
So self-conscious she was with her figure, she even shielded her belly with a purse while filming episodes of Laguna Beach.Â
‘Growing up, I always had a really negative loop playing about body image,’ Cavallari confessed on her podcast, Let’s Be Honest. ‘I always felt like I was kind of fat growing up.Â
‘And especially living at the beach, and a lot of girls in high school, their bodies were perfect and I always had a few extra pounds on me and it was always in my belly, and I was really, really self-conscious about it.
Kristin Cavallari got real about the vicious thought loop that tells her she is ‘fat’ – and the insecurities with her body she faced that even infiltrated the filming of Laguna Beach; pictured in 2005
Cavallari said she would cover her belly on Laguna Beach due to her insecurities over that particular body part
‘On a few episodes of Laguna Beach, if we were doing walking scenes, there was this one scene in particular and I would, like, hold my purse in front of my stomach because I didn’t want to show it on camera.
‘It’s crazy because when we have these thoughts and we’ve had them for so many years, it’s really hard to change and I’ve been working on this in the last few years too.’
The harmful thoughts continue to appear, despite her being happier than ever with her physical appearance. Â
‘I feel the best I’ve ever felt in my body. I’ve worked really hard, I still work really hard in the gym. I eat really well. I hardly ever drink alcohol. I test all my hormones and my vitamin levels and my gut. I do all of the things and I think I look the best I ever have. That’s not me bragging.’
‘I can go back and look at photos of myself. I’m like, “I actually think I look the best I ever have” and I feel the best I ever have.’
‘But I still sometimes have this f***king loop in my head that’s like, “you’re fat,” whatever it is, and I have to stop myself and be like, “Oh my God, you look the best you ever have.”‘
Now Kristin wishes she could assure her teenage self that she would have the body of her dreams at age 38.Â
‘If you could talk to 18-year-old Kristen and be like, ‘Look what we’re going to look like when we’re 38.’ Just stop, just stop. It’s so insane you guys.’
But the star has the type of body she has long dreamed of, and is determined to quash the damaging thought loopÂ
MTV cameras followed Conrad and her high school peers for their wildly hit reality show Laguna Beach
Cavallari starred with Lauren Conrad, Stephen Colletti, and more on the showÂ
‘What I’ve told myself in the last few years is, “You have your dream body. You have your dream body. Like, enough already.”‘
The emotional revelation came as Cavallari offered tips to listeners on how to break negative thinking patterns, prompting her to reveal the ‘loop’ she still is attempting to silence.Â
Cavallari was one of the teenagers MTV cameras followed around for their hit reality show, Laguna Beach.Â
From 2004 to 2005, cameras followed her various high school dramas – in particular the one involving her with co-star Stephen Colletti and Lauren Conrad.
Cavallari and Conrad were entangled in a love triangle over Colletti, and the drama engrossed millions of viewers who soon began to pick sides between ‘team Conrad’ and ‘team Cavallari.’Â
But recently Cavallari buried the hatchet with Conrad as they filmed the Laguna Beach reunion, and she uploaded a selfie which she captioned, ‘everyone can put away their team Lauren and team Kristin shirts now.’
‘I just got back from Laguna. I filmed the Laguna Beach reunion, which was awesome,’ she said on a recent episode of her podcast.
Kristin was embroiled in a love triangle with Lauren Conrad over CollettiÂ
Cavallari wishes she could assure her teenage self that she would have her ‘dream body’ at age 38
‘So between that and now you being here, I just feel like the world is healing… like you’re back on the pod, Lauren and I are friends.’
Conrad revealed she initially did not want to participate in the reunion but is now ‘really happy’ she did, finding the experience ‘healing’ and ‘therapeutic.’
‘I don’t even know what I’m allowed to say or not say,’ she said. ‘It was such a great time.’
‘I’m not trying to be cheesy but it really was healing in a lot of ways,’ she said.
‘It was very therapeutic,’ she added. ‘It’s funny ’cause, if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t actually want to do it…. And I’m really, really happy that I did.’
It also marked a ‘nice way’ for Cavallari to close the Laguna Beach chapter.
‘It was such a great experience and just a nice way I think to end the whole Laguna Beach of it all,’ she said.
‘That’s going to come out in the spring, I think April, but TBD on that, I’ll keep everyone posted,’ she added.
