Rachael Kirkconnell is baring all about her love life — revealing she hasn’t had sex ‘in years,’ despite only recently splitting from her longtime boyfriend Matt James in January.
The former Bachelor star made the candid confession on the latest episode of Extra Dirty, admitting her long dry spell has her feeling like she’s starting from scratch.
‘I feel like a virgin again,’ she said. ‘I haven’t had sex way longer than you think. I’ll just put it that way. It’s been years. Years. It has been so long.’
Kirkconnell explained that the break from intimacy has changed her mindset, adding, ‘And that’s why I’m saying like I feel like a virgin again to where I don’t want to just give it up to anyone.’
‘It’s like almost like I can’t just like hook up with someone random at this point because it’s been so long that I want it to be incredible,”’ she continued.
Kirkconnell and James first met on his season of The Bachelor in 2020. After their split, she claimed James announced the breakup on Instagram just ‘three hours’ after ending things while they were on vacation in Tokyo.
Rachael Kirkconnell is baring all about her love life — revealing she hasn’t had sex ‘in years,’ despite only recently splitting from her longtime boyfriend Matt James in January
‘I feel like a virgin again,’ she said on the latest episode of Extra Dirty, adding, ‘I haven’t had sex way longer than you think. I’ll just put it that way. It’s been years. Years. It has been so long.’
‘I’ve been so chronically single. I haven’t been on a single date. I’m not on the apps,’ Kirkconnell explained.
She continued, ‘I’m not judging anyone who is on the apps, but I just don’t think that would work well for me,’ she added. ‘But honestly, if it gets to a point, I might have to jump on them.’
Kirkconnell also shared that she identifies with being demisexual — meaning she only feels sexual attraction once she’s developed a deep emotional connection with someone.
‘I just feel like I do have to have an emotional connection with someone,’ Kirkconnell said.
‘I just don’t think I could go home with anyone,’ she added ‘I have to feel safe and comfortable with them and be emotionally invested at least in a way that I could see us dating or I at least have a crush on them… It’s not a physical attraction, I guess.’
Batchelder then asked Kirkconnell if she felt an attraction to women as well, but the star said she was ‘confused’ about the difference between demisexual and pansexual.
Pansexual is a sexual orientation where people are attracted to any gender.
Kirkconnell said she is more focused on the bond than the attraction.
Bachelor star Rachael Kirkconnell, 29, revealed she is ‘demisexual’ after her shock split from Matt James, 33
‘I can say, “Wow, that person is really attractive.” I obviously find them really attractive, I think they’re really hot, but I don’t care after that, cause they could still be like a terrible person or have the worst personality ever and that would make me not want to sleep with them because that totally turns me off.’
‘I guess their attraction can only get so far for me. Maybe that’s my problem, I don’t know.’
In February, James removed the breakup announcement that reportedly blindsided Kirkconnell from Instagram.
The 33-year-old former Bachelor star dated Kirkconnell for four years before their split in mid January.
At the end of the month she appeared on Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy podcast to talk about the dissolution of their relationship at length.
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional bond with someone first
‘I just don’t think I could go home with anyone,’ she said. ‘I have to feel safe and comfortable with them and be emotionally invested at least in a way that I could see us dating or I at least have a crush on them,’ she told host Hallie Batchelder
The former Bachelor star dated Kirkconnell for four years before their split in mid January; They are pictured together
Now, there is so trace of the lengthy breakup news — which was written as a prayer — on his social media account.
Initially shared on January 16, Matt’s caption read: ‘Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts. Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding. Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord.’
The exes met during their turn on The Bachelor season 25, which aired in 2021.
Although she was the last woman standing, they did not get engaged at the end the season engaged and briefly parted ways due to resurfaced photos showing Kirkconnell’s involvement in an racist-themed college party.
At the time, she responded to widespread backlash in a statement that read: ‘While there have been rumors circulating, there have also been truths that have come to light that I need to address.
‘I hear you, and I’m here to say I was wrong. At one point, I didn’t recognize how offensive and racist my actions were, but that doesn’t excuse them. My age or when it happened does not excuse anything. They are not acceptable or OK in any sense. I was ignorant, but my ignorance was racist.’
On Call Her Daddy, Rachael laid out the reason for their breakup.
‘He said that at the end of the day there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife. There are things that we aren’t compatible with and the whole accountability and saying sorry and all that was really the main thing,’ she explained.
In February, James removed the breakup announcement that reportedly blindsided Kirkconnell from Instagram
The exes met during their turn on The Bachelor season 25, which aired in 2021
She continued, ‘It was just one of those things where he, I think, just had this realization that “I should want to propose to you by this time. Like, at this point in our relationship, I should be wanting those things and I should be ready for that. But I’m not still. I still don’t feel like we’re ready or I don’t feel like I’m ready. I don’t know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can’t actually see myself married to you.”‘
Before he posted the news of their split online, Kirkonnell said: ‘He didn’t even text me to give me a warning, like, saying, “Hey, I’m posting this.”
‘It just hurt to know that’s how my friends found out and my family and my little sister. I didn’t get to talk to them about it or grieve privately for, like, a day.’
The reality television star added that she’s been in touch with James since the breakup and that there’s no chance of reconciliation.
